


Di Pintu Syurga

by NotAPrettyLady



Series: True Love Cannot Die [1]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood, F/M, Fatherhood, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, M/M, Mpreg, Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-07-13 20:51:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 45,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7136630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotAPrettyLady/pseuds/NotAPrettyLady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. True love cannot die. Magnus Bane had always believed that. When Alec Lightwood came into his life, he knew he would love the mortal for the rest of his immortal life. An old lover’s vengeance lusting to steal away his happy ending far too soon however was something he didn’t expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You're not invited

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd. Di Pintu Syurga means At Heaven's Door in English. The facts have been completely altered from the original work of Cassandra Clare. Instead of using Indonesian to represent Magnus Bane, I’ll be using Malay in addition to English as the main languages in this story because I’m Malaysian so it’ll be easier for me to write. ;)

Alec Lightwood beamed brightly from where he was standing. He couldn’t take his eyes off his three-year-old son as he played happily with his Uncle Jace and Uncle Simon. Max was currently sitting on Jace’s shoulder. The blonde shadowhunter was running around the training room while Simon chased after the both of them. Max was gripping Jace’s hair tightly in his pudgy blue hands to prevent himself from falling. If there was a person who could ruin Jace’s perfectly coiffed hair without being scolded at, the person was none other than Max Michael Lightwood-Bane. Max’s elated squeal could be heard all over the Institute and nothing could make Alec more gratified than knowing his child was happy.

Being the eldest son of Robert and Maryse Lightwood _and_ running the New York Institute at the same time was indeed challenging. People had always expected the best from him and often Alec found it overwhelming. He always did his best for the Institute and for the sake of the Lightwood family name. On top of that, he was also Magnus Bane’s — the High Warlock of Brooklyn — lover. Ever since the beginning of his relationship with Magnus, the Shadow World couldn’t stop talking about them. But nothing could compare to his life as a father. Raising two children — two _boys_ — both under the age of five was definitely _stimulating,_ to say the least.

That was the life of Alexander Gideon Lightwood.

Robert and Maryse Lightwood’s firstborn, the head of the New York Institute, the boyfriend of the High Warlock of Brooklyn and…the father of two.

His reputation definitely preceded him.

“I was expecting a red carpet for my arrival and I’m honestly _disappointed_.”

Alec’s head snap to the direction of the entrance where the source of the voice was heard. The person’s statement was loud enough to halter the activities inside the Institute. The shadowhunters in the control area was frozen in front of their respective computers while the joyous playtime at the training room was put to a stop as well. All eyes were focused at the entrance as the loud, flamboyant man made his way inside the Institute with a young boy in tow.

Putting little Max down on the floor, Jace Wayland leaned over the glass barrier to acknowledge the newcomer. “For the _millionth_ times, Magnus…nobody is gonna spread the red carpet for you every time you come here. _Stop_ asking for it.”

“Last time I checked, my paramour _is_ the head of this institute. Thus, I believe a red carpet _is_ the common courtesy by now, Golden Boy.” Magnus sighed dramatically.    

“Rafe!” Max out of the blue squealed loudly, waving enthusiastically to get his brother’s attention and indiscriminately cutting off the quarrel between his father and his uncle.

“Max!” Five-year-old Rafael Santiago Lightwood-Bane, the eldest son of Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane quickly climbed up the stairs to the training area, eager to meet his baby brother. Once they reunited, the two brothers were embracing one another as if they hadn’t seen each other for a year when in truth it had only been a few hours.

Six hours top.

“Hi, Ayah! Hi, Daddy!” Max was waving again and this time at his parents.

Magnus winked while Alec waved back and watched as both of his sons situated themselves on the training area floor before Rafael produced some sort of art from his bag pack.  

Magnus approached his beloved Alec and kissed him chastely on the lips. “Hello, Alexander. I’ve missed you.”

Jace groaned. First he had to see Rafael and Max being affectionate, and now it was Alec and Magnus. Sure, the former duo was adorable to see since they were brothers but as for the latter, it was _frustrating_ because it happened far too often for his liking. “Like father like son.”

Alec rolled his eyes, returning Magnus’ kiss a tad keenly before pulling away. Who would’ve thought, someone who was previously extremely uncomfortable with PDAs was now bold enough to show the world his affection. Nevertheless, there was a deep shade of red creeping up his neck and cheeks, betraying him. “Take your jealousy somewhere else, Jace. Let me have a moment with my boyfriend.”

“I wish Clary is here.” Jace grumbled, making his statement as dramatic as possible.

“Where _is_ Clary?” Simon asked, momentarily scouting the Institute.

“Idris.” Jace crossed his arms unhappily. “She’s helping Lydia with something. She’ll be back in a few days or so.”

“Ah, no wonder why you’re so grumpy.” Simon said eloquently. “Ignore Jace. I think you guys are cute together. I still remember your first kiss at Alec’s almost-wedding. It feels like it had happened yesterday.”

It was Alec’s turn to groan. It sounded deeper and graver than Jace’s, a sign of how exasperated he was. Magnus on the other hand simply chuckled. He knew how much his Alexander hated to be reminded of that day — the almost-wedding day — as they usually called it. It wasn’t like Alec regretted his decision, it was just that particular event had brought back so many bad memories such as Hodge’s betrayal, Lydia’s getting hurt and the worse of all, the rejection from Maryse and Robert Lightwood, Alec’s parents.    

Noting Alec’s annoyance, Simon instantly pouted. “Fine, I’ll stop shipping you two if that makes you happy. I know when my service is no longer needed.”

Jace threw his arm around Simon’s shoulder. They had become so much closer to one another as the years passed. “You can ship me and Clary if you want. I really don’t mind.”

“Haha, really funny, Jace. No thank you. I’d rather ship myself with a Wookiee.” Simon pushed Jace’s away. Jace knew about his previous crush on Clary and he wanted him to ship them together? Although he no longer had feelings whatsoever toward the green eyed girl, he really didn’t have the _motivation_ to ship them.

Because they weren’t Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood.

“A Wookiee? I have no idea who that is.” Jace uttered and strode toward his nephews who were in a deep conversation amongst themselves. It definitely had something to do with the drawing in Rafael’s grasp.

“Magnus, did you come across Izzy at the Academy when you went to pick up your son from school earlier?” Simon was frowning. Ever since Isabelle took the job as a tutor at the newly constructed New York Academy for Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike, he rarely saw her. With his schedule as a vampire, and hers as a shadowhunter and tutor, it was getting harder to get in touch with her.

Speaking of the New York Academy, it was undoubtedly the _better_ version of the Shadowhunter Academy in Idris. The founders of the New York Academy were none other than Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane. It was Alec’s vision to unite the Shadow World and the best solution was not by marriage, but by education. Children by nature were non-judgmental. It was through their nurture that they learned to hate. Alec himself as a Shadowhunter was raised to belittle the Downworlders but his relationship with Magnus had changed his perspective. He wanted the _entire_ Shadow World to see how absurd their perceptions were.  

The Clave was against it at first. _Of course_ they would be against it but Alec and Magnus didn’t back down easily. They fought tooth and nail, just like they had fought for their relationship. With the help of their families, friends, and acquaintances, the Clave eventually yet begrudgingly agreed. Alec and Magnus had a great influence on others after all.

At the Academy, the students would learn the theory of the Shadow World and every Shadow World species that ever existed and later undergone the practical training. Every Shadow World beings would be in the same class so that they could get to know each other more closely. So far, the students were mainly shadowhunters and werewolves, with a few vampires, a very small amount of warlocks’ children, and even lesser faeries. Despite having the High Warlock of Brooklyn’s son studied there, most of the warlocks were still reluctant seeing that Magnus Bane’s son was a _shadowhunter_. However, once Max turned four he too would enroll to the Academy just like his older brother, Rafael, and perhaps when that time came, the warlocks would have their faith in the Academy just like the other Shadow World species.        

“I can’t say that I did, Sheldon. Perhaps she’s busy with something since there weren’t many tutors there today.” Magnus casually replied.     

“Seriously, Magnus? It’s been _years_. You have _two_ kids now and you still can’t remember my name?!” Simon’s frustration was visible. He was worried about Isabelle and Magnus was making him upset.  

“My apologies, Solomon.”

“It’s Simon!”

Alec scoffed and shook his head in amusement. “He knows who you are, _Simon_. Magnus is just playing you.”

Magnus dissolved into laughter before nodding. “You’re too hilarious, dear.”

Simon was the third person to groan in that very hour. “Glad to know my misery amuses you.”

“Izzy will be busy this week. They need to establish the rules and regulations for the Academy now that a couple of faerie children had joined in.” Alec said nonchalantly, eyeing his children who were now chatting eagerly to their ayah. “She said she’ll make it up to you and that she’ll contact you soon.”

“Oh. So, she has the time to see you but not me?” Simon couldn’t hide his jealousy at all. It was so unfair. Isabelle Lightwood was his girlfriend, damn it!

“That’s because…I’m her big brother and she loves _me_ more than she loves _you_.” Alec concluded and left Simon, to meet his brother, boyfriend and sons.

Simon huffed like a petulant child before he too approached the small group. He had nowhere to go and nothing to do so he might as well spend his time with this _dysfunctional_ family of his while waiting for Isabelle. He truthfully loved these people. He loved how they had accepted him when his own family wouldn’t. And he loved, _loved_ how Alec and Magnus’ two sons called him Uncle Simon. He felt so welcomed when he was with them.

If only they would stop teasing him.   

“Ready to go, boys?” Alec’s deep yet loving voice reverberated in the training area of the Institute.

“Yes!” Both Rafael and Max jumped excitedly.

“Whoa! Calm down, champs!” Jace enveloped his animated nephews with his strong arms to stop their movements.       

“Ayah said we can get ice cream at the park on our way home!” Max stated fervently. His entire blue face glowed in delight.

“Can I get some ice cream too? I’m dying to have the mint flavor ice cream.” Jace played along, pleased to entertain the boys.     

“You can’t come, Uncle Jace, because you’re not invited.” Rafael said in all seriousness of a five-year-old boy. He probably didn’t want to share his ice cream with anyone, not even his beloved Uncle Jace.

“Rafael Santiago Lightwood-Bane!” Alec gasped, scowling at his eldest son. “Where are your manners?”

“Sorry, Daddy.” Rafael ducked his head. Max was by his side in an instant. At that moment Alec knew his boys would one day gang up against him and Magnus when they grew up. Nonetheless, Alec was glad Max and Rafael had each other.

Despite the small _commotion_ made by Rafael, one other thing that Magnus noticed was that Simon had become strangely stiff next to him. Even though the others didn’t realize it, he did. The vampire became rigid the moment Alec uttered Rafael’s full name out loud.

Magnus knew very well why the vampire acted that way. Simon was downright inconsolable when the original Raphael Santiago died. Raphael was his sire after all and even though they wouldn’t admit it, he knew Simon and Raphael had shared something special before the latter had died. Perhaps naming their son after the late Raphael Santiago was a wrong call because Simon would always cringe every time Rafael’s name was mentioned. Magnus understood his pain. Raphael was one of his best friends too.

Alec had also told him how painful it was for him at first to call baby Max by his name. It reminded Alec of his baby brother, the one he had lost but by naming Max after his namesake Max Lightwood, it was a way to preserve his memory. That was why after they had adopted the then three-year-old shadowhunter boy, they agreed to name him after the vampire Raphael Santiago who had died protecting others.  

Magnus hoped Simon knew that he and Alec didn’t name their eldest son after Raphael out of spite.

“Simon, may I have a word with you?”


	2. Oh, Alexander

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.  
> I haven't read the books and my info is limited to the TV show and Shadowhunters wikia page, hehehe!

Magnus Bane slumped tiredly on the turquoise colored modern glider in his sons’ bedroom. He was always pleased he had won over the argument of what furniture to be placed in the nursery with Alexander once upon a time ago or else there would be a black leather glider instead in the room at the present time. Alexander and the color black could never be parted no matter how much he tried to _isolate_ the two. At this moment though, he couldn’t reminisce the joy of winning as he was too weary to function. He had lost count how many story books he had read and yet both of his boys still declined to sleep.

He truly loved being a father. Before he met Alexander, he hadn’t once thought about having a family with someone. Sure, he had thought about adopting one or two orphan warlock children — since all warlocks were sterile his only way was to adopt — and made them as his apprentices but having children _with_ somebody? That thought had never occurred to him before. He tremendously wasn’t fond of that kind of commitment but of course Alexander had come marching into his life and all of his _phobias_ were thrown out of the window.

And now here he was — a father of two adorable yet _stubborn_ children.

“Why can Chairman Meow wait for Daddy but we can’t?” Max whined, showing the most miserable face to his Ayah.

“Because Chairman is _older_ than you and he doesn’t have to go to school tomorrow.” Magnus said patiently and covered Max with the duvet _again_.

“ _Please_ let us wait for Daddy, Ayah. Max and I promise we’d go to bed when Daddy’s home.” Rafael spoke pleadingly but his voice was borderline whiny.

“Yes, we promise.” Max instantly approved, vehemently nodding his head.

“No.”

“Ayaaaaah…” Max pouted.

“Go to sleep, boys.” Magnus easily dismissed the look of hurt on his youngest face. He had to be authoritarian even though he didn’t want to. He was the _fun_ dad. _Alexander_ was the strict one. But with Alec not here, out there fulfilling his Shadowhunter duty, he had to ensure their children were well behave. Alec had put on some ground rules in disciplining their children and Magnus intended to follow them for the sake of the children.

“We wanna wait for Daddy.” Max was being tenacious. 

“Maxwell Michael, it has been a _very_ long day for me.” Magnus exhaled noisily. The serious talk he had had with Simon wasn’t as grim as this even though both were emotionally draining him. “Please don’t make this difficult. Go to _sleep_.”

“Nuh-uh.” Max continued sulking.

“Blueberry…” Magnus took a deep breath to control his emotions. For a four-hundred-years-old warlock, people would have thought with all of his experiences, he got _everything_ under control, that every single thing must be _easy_ for him to handle but _no_ …he was downright _hopeless_ when it came to his children. He really couldn’t say no to them.

Had you seen those pleading eyes?

The pregnant silence made Rafael uneasy. Quietness was never a good thing. Aunt Isabelle had told him once that when Daddy was sad, he would be quiet while Ayah’s silence usually meant that he was angry. Ayah wasn’t talking anymore and he really didn’t want Ayah to be angry at him or Max. “Are you angry with us, Ayah?”   

Seeing how nervous his brother acted and how crushed his ayah looked, Max’s whines were slowly turning into sniffles. “I’m s-sorry, Ayah. I just…I just want Daddy here. I wish Daddy doesn’t have to go fight the baddies.”

Max was the more stubborn one out of the two. He definitely got that from Alec because Magnus was the _pleasantest_ boy in town when he was young. Well, the _truth_ behind that was still opened for argument. Nonetheless, even though he was stubborn, Max was also the one closer to Alec. Ever since Alec held him for the first time, they had enchantingly bonded to each other. Alec had been devoted to Max since, providing his needs and loving him unconditionally.

Rafael on the other hand was more tolerable for a five-year-old boy. He was in the same age as Max when Magnus and Alec found him on the street of Buenos Aires. He was more reserved back then. He was opened up to them more than he did with others. The Clave had once again resentfully let Alec and Magnus adopt the young orphan Shadowhunter. The fact that Magnus was a Downworlder didn’t sit well with them but Magnus and Alec were adamant about it and the Clave was left with no choice.

Magnus gave each of his sons a comforting smile. “I’m not angry, kiddos. I just want you to go to sleep early so tomorrow morning you won’t feel drowsy. There’ll be a new day awaits you. You’ll learn new things at the Academy, Rafael. And Max, Daddy might need your help at the Institute. How can you two accomplish any of that if you were sleepy?”

Max looked at his hands, distractedly playing with his fingers. “Daddy loves it when I help keeping the books in the library.”

Magnus leaned forward and pushed the strand of blue hair from Max’s blue face. “I know for certain that if he was given a choice, Daddy would be here tucking in both of you but your Daddy is a great man. He’s going away hunting demons almost every night to make the world a better place for his dear sons and for the other people out there.”

“Daddy is a hero.” Rafael was obviously a proud son.

“He is, darling.” Magnus smiled.

“Why can’t other people go? Why is it always Daddy?” Max complained indignantly. “Daddy is strong. He can say no. And he…he’s so _tall_. People should be afraid of him. He can stomp on them like I did with those cockroaches!”

“You wanna know why? Daddy is the _best_ Shadowhunter out there, Max. People constantly rely on him. On top of that, he has to take care of Uncle Jace and Aunt Izzy when they go hunting together because he doesn’t want them to get hurt.” Magnus explained with composure.

“Why?” Max probed with another question. “They’re big, Ayah. Bigger than _me_ and I can take care of myself when I’m alone at the Institute.”

“Daddy is Uncle Jace and Aunt Izzy’s big brother. It’s in Daddy’s instinct to protect his little brother and baby sister.” Magnus smiled at that. His Alexander, the defender of people.  

“Daddy is a big brother? Like Rafe?” Max seemed mesmerized with the newly acknowledged fact. His young mind had a lot to process in one night simply because he refused to sleep. 

“Exactly like Rafe.” Magnus ruffled Rafael’s hair friskily who beamed in return. “You notice how protective Rafe is? How much he loves you? That’s what older brother does.”

Magnus thought back to the time when he became the father of two. They had adopted Rafael a few weeks after Max had turned one. The brown eyed boy was three-years-old at that time. Their bedrooms were separated back then. Max had his own nursery and Rafael was given his own room. It wasn’t that Magnus and Alec didn’t want the boys to bond but Rafael often had nightmares in the middle of the night in the beginning. And Max had a history of being colicky thus, the best solution was to separate them for the time being. Within a few months, roughly five months later things were getting better. From having nightmares every night in which both Magnus and Alec would be awoken from their sleep to calm their new son, it gradually became a weekly occurrence, and eventually it stopped altogether.

Then Max who had started to talk _demanded_ to be in the same bedroom as Rafael and the rest was history. They couldn’t be detached since then.   

“I love you too, Rafe.” Max confessed out loud like he commonly did. Being affectionate was one of his greatest assets. He loved Rafael so much. He loved Daddy and Ayah too. “Do you have a big brother, Ayah?”    

“ _That_ question is for another time. It’s your bedtime and I will _not_ ask again.” Magnus said firmly. “When you wake up in the morning, Daddy and I will be here.”

This time, without any resistance Max swaddled himself with his comforter and Rafael followed his action mere seconds later. They both yawned almost at the same time and then Rafael rubbed his eyes sleepily. “Can you read another story for us?”

“Promise you’ll sleep this time?” Magnus gave Max a pointed look who in return smiled at him sheepishly.

“Promise.” Max said sweetly. In the next bed, Rafael let out a giggle.

“Alrighty then.” Magnus clapped his hands but instead of snatching one of the books in the huge pile he had read that very night, he proceeded with his magic. Shortly, Rafael and Max were floating in the air, making them giggle before they eventually being gracefully dropped onto their Ayah’s lap. “Instead of another story, let me sing you a lullaby, my darling muchkins.”

Both boys made themselves comfortable and sighed happily as Magnus started to sing. “ _Jika engkau minta intan permata tak mungkin ku mampu (If you asked for the diamonds and jewels I could never afford them). Tapi sayang kan ku capai bintang dari langit untukmu (But my love I’d grasp the stars from the sky above just for you). Jika engkau minta satu dunia akan aku cuba (If you asked for the whole world I’d surely try). Ku hanya mampu jadi milikmu pastikan kau bahagia (I could only be yours and ensure your happiness)._ ”

Magnus watched his sons as they began to fall asleep in his cuddle. “ _Hati ini bukan milik ku lagi (My heart is no longer mine). Seribu tahun pun akan ku nantikan kamu… (I’d wait for a thousand years for you)._ "

The tips of Magnus’ fingers sparked again with magic. With poise he transported Rafael and Max to their respective beds and arranged the duvet to cover their small bodies. “ _Sayangku, jangan kau persoalkan siapa di hatiku (My love, don’t you ever doubt who is in my heart). Terukir di bintang tak mungkin hilang cintaku padamu (Written in the stars my love for you will never fade away)._ "

“ _Terukir di bintang tak mungkin hilang cintaku padamu (Written in the stars my love for you will never fade away)._ ” Magnus finished his song, stood from his seat and went to his sleeping sons. He gave each one of them a loving kiss on the forehead before he stepped out of their bedroom. “Sweet dreams, my princes.”

Magnus entered the living room and glanced at the wall clock. It was indeed late and Alec still wasn’t back from his scouting. His anxiety was always at the peak when this happened. Every time Alec went out for a hunt, he would be restless. Every night that Alec was gone would fill Magnus with dread. There were possibilities that Alec might not return and it shook him to the core. Every second passed was a torture and every minute passed slowly killing him inside. When minutes turned to hours, Magnus was devastated when Alec still hadn't return from his hunt with his siblings. This was the sacrifice he had to face for dating a Shadowhunter.

"Alexander…" Magnus breathed in relief when the front door was opened and Alec strode inside seconds later.

"Hey, Magnus." Alec smiled, meeting Magnus halfway in the living room.

Magnus wrapped his arms around the handsome Shadowhunter. As always, Alec melted into the warm embrace. Coming home to Magnus and their sons were the highlight of his day. Whenever he had to go hunting, he tried his hardest to come home before the boys went to bed so Magnus wouldn't be worried about his wellbeing too but most of the time he failed miserably. His own parents were often absent when he was growing up and was usually left with someone else to be taken care of. He always felt lonely but then Izzy was born. And when he was nine Max was born. In the same year Jace Wayland had joined the Lightwood family and he didn’t feel lonely as before. Nonetheless, he often desired for his parents to be there with him too. He didn't want Rafael and Max to ever think he had neglected them. He really wished there was another way but there wasn't. Not since the demons' activity had increased and there weren't enough Shadowhunters left after Valentine's massacre party.

"Are the kids okay?"  

"They were splendid, just missing you dearly. I'm always glad to see you come home in one piece, Alexander." Magnus rubbed his hands along Alec's jacket covered arms.

"I'm sorry the scouting took too long tonight. I was on my way home but there was a little… _complication_." Alec said in disdain.

"What was it? Do tell, dear. Do I need to turn someone into a rat for causing you such hassle, Alexander?" Magnus was being coy. Alec however flinched when Magnus accidentally touched his side which of course didn't go unnoticed by the High Warlock of Brooklyn.

"Alexander, were you hurt?" Magnus immediately activated his panic mode. His hands hovered all over Alec to locate the source of pain 

"Magnus, I'm fine." Alec attempted to retreat but Magnus had a firm hold on him. "It was just a scratch."

"Show me." Magnus' tone left no room for argument.

Sighing, Alec lifted up his black t-shirt that smelled of sweat and blood and willingly let Magnus examine him. "Honestly, Magnus…I'm fine."

A gasp from Magnus though was a sign that Alec wasn't _entirely_ fine. "This is what you called a _scratch_? Your left side is badly bruised, Alexander! I suspect a couple of fractured ribs too! What happened tonight? You better tell me or I'm calling Isabelle."

Letting out a heavy breath of air, Alec sighed. "Camille and the rogue vampires happened."

"Camille?" Magnus' eyes were widened in surprise. "Camille Belcourt?"

"Yes, Magnus. Your ex-girlfriend Camille." Alec couldn't refrain himself from rolling his eyes.

"What is she doing back in New York? Isn't she supposed to be in—" Magnus paused and frowned. “…whatever country she decides to manipulate."

"Well, according to her she's visiting Raphael's grave." Alec filled in for Magnus before the warlock thought too much of it.

"That bitch is here for a reason." Magnus concluded yet he was still frowning.

"I don't believe her either. Whatever she's planning, we'll find out soon enough. I've already asked the vampires and the werewolves packs to keep an eye on her." Alec ventured, grimacing when the ache hit him.

"Oh, Alexander…" Magnus was back being worried, hands once again hovering over Alec. Magical sparks danced on his fingertips, glowing into an unearthly blue color and seeped into Alec's body to heal him.

"Really, Magnus...I'm okay." Alec affirmed with a smile after a while. Magnus' magic was a wonder. "Thank you."

Knowing that his magic had did its job greatly, Magnus incessantly ushered Alec to the bedroom. He appeared to have a mission. "Let's get you to bed. I wanna have a _piece_ of Alexander Gideon Lightwood for myself tonight. Camille and the rogue vampires can be damned. I'll make sure you forget your own name and hers too when I take you apart."

Alec smirked mischievously. "Oh, really? Show me what you got, Mr. Bane."

"With pleasure, Alexander."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Magnus sang is _Terukir Di Bintang_ by Yuna. :)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. I truly appreciate it. Comments, kudos, bookmarks, subscribes, etc. are always welcome. :)


	3. We got plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine and I apologize for that.

Magnus Bane was euphoric yet beyond nervous. It took _a lot_ to make someone like him — a four-hundred years old High Warlock of Brooklyn — to lose composure in this manner and yet someone _did_. And that special _someone_ was currently sleeping peacefully on the soft imported blue silk, unperturbed by the rest of the world. According to the usual timing, in a few minutes his beloved anak-anak however would be awake and would demand all of his and his lover’s attention but everything was all set. Breakfast was ready — pancakes, bacons, the boys’ favorite cereals, nasi lemak, roti canai — and was made from _scratch_. There wasn’t any magic used at all and he felt rather satisfied with himself for that alone.

The pitter-patter of little feet walking on the hardwood floor made Magnus grin brightly. He was such in a good mood today. In seconds, the loft wouldn’t be as quiet as right now and he _loved_ it. He loved how talkative his children were. The once serene life of his, the unobtrusive Sunday was all gone and he didn’t miss it in the least. He admitted when he and Alec brought back Max who was only a few weeks old, waking up in the middle of the night exhaust him to the core. He always grumbled that he needed his beauty sleep but even so, he still woke up to placate his son and the boy’s needs when it was his turn.

Although he loved his sleep, Magnus Bane loved Max more.

“Ayah!” Max was chirping happily the moment he saw Magnus. “Good morning!”

“Good morning, Blueberry.” Magnus picked the blue boy up and kissed him with a loud smack. “Where’s your brother?”

“I’m here, Ayah.” Rafael approached the two, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

Magnus chuckled seeing his eldest sleepy face. The boy was constantly yawning and Magnus was certain the only reason why Rafael was awake was because his little brother had woken him up from a wonderful dreamland. Rafael by nature wasn’t a morning person, just like his Ayah. It was extremely difficult to get him ready for school during the weekdays. Max however greeted the world with a huge smile every morning. Perhaps it was his way to apologize to the entire universe for crying in the middle of the night every night when he was a baby.  

Magnus put Max back on his feet and kneeled in front of Rafael to be in the same level with his son. He gave Rafael a kiss just like he did with Max. It was their daily routine. Each and every morning would be welcomed with morning kisses before anything else — before breakfast, before bath, _everything_ — or else their morning would be imperfect. He practiced the same thing with his young Shadowhunter lover as well, only their shared kisses weren’t as innocent as the ones he shared with his sons.

Now that the boys were up and ready, he only had to wait for his beloved Alexander to come round. Alec rarely slept in. Unlike Magnus, Alec was a morning person. His life as a born and raised Shadowhunter had thought him significant disciplines including waking up before dawn.

Well, Alec was the only one of the Lightwood siblings to have such discipline because Jace and Isabelle sure as hell didn’t.

“Have you brushed your teeth?” Magnus asked when both boys made their way to the dining table.

“Yep.” Max replied while Rafael merely nodded his head.

“What about bath?” Magnus inquired even though he knew the answer because Rafael and Max were mutually in their pajamas. Rafael was in his Captain America pajamas while Max was wearing Spongebob Squarepants’ pajamas. The color yellow was a great contrast to his blue skin.

This time, both Rafael and Max shook their head.

“Let’s take a bath, shall we? We’ll fill the bathtub with lots and lots of colorful bubbles and a few rubber duckies will be there too…” Magnus envisioned and led his sons toward the children’s en suite bathroom. With his magic, the tub was instantly filled with water, bubbles, and of course, duckies.  

“Uncle Jace hates duckies.” Max giggled, shucking off his clothes. “He asked me to…to put away the duckies when he was here.”

“Did he now?” Magnus laughed, helping Max and the still sleepy Rafael into the bathtub. Jace’s fear of the ducks was amusing. That was why most of his sons’ toys were consisted of ducks simply to tease the blonde Shadowhunter who often babysit his children.

“I hid one of the duckies and…and I showed it to Uncle Jace and he was frightened and fell down on his butt.” Max giggled again, pondering the incident.

“That wasn’t nice, Blueberry.” Magnus chastised a bit but he couldn’t hide the small smile tugging at his lips because he could just imagine it. Well, he didn’t _have_ to imagine it actually because he had more than one occasion pulling pranks on Jace. One of them included filling the Shadowhunter’s bedroom with real-life ducks _and_ rubber ducks alike which ended up with Jace screaming hell and alarmed the entire Institute much to Alec’s chagrin.

“It was funny, Ayah!” There was a glint of mischievousness in Max’s eyes.

“You’re lucky Uncle Jace didn’t smack your bum.” Magnus knew Max would turn out to be a rascal but of course as a parent, he would not support such behavior.

“Uncle Jace won’t do that, Ayah. Uncle Jace loves me.” Max grinned toothily, knowing very well how much his aunts and uncles loved him.

“Everyone has their limits, kiddo. You don’t want to test them.” Magnus cautioned Max so that he would not go overboard with his teasing.

“Okie dokie, Ayah.” Max nodded and played with the ducks around him. Magnus knew he didn’t take it seriously but Max was only three. He would let the boy be a kid for now.

“Where’s Daddy?” Rafael who was finally wide-awake asked, noticing the absence of his Daddy.

“Daddy is still sleeping.” Magnus affirmed as he washed Rafael’s hair.  

“Is Daddy hurt?” Rafael’s expression became troubled instantly.

Max’s eyes widened hearing that. “Wh-What?”

Magnus’ hand stopped moving. “No, he isn’t, Rafe. Why would you think that?”

Rafael’s lips started to tremble. “Daddy is always awake before I did. Daddy only stayed in bed when he was hurt…”

A few months back Alec had gotten hurt during a routine scouting. His injury wasn’t that severe, nothing that an iratze couldn’t fix but he had come home with a gash on his head, near his hairline. It wasn’t big but it was bleeding profusely like a typical head wound often did. The gash could be fixed with a few stitches by a mundane. What he didn’t expect when he got back home was that his family waiting for him, all three of them. Max had fallen asleep on the couch, on Magnus’ lap but Rafael was still up and the boy had let a loud gasp when he went to greet his Daddy and saw the wound. Alec had assured Rafael that everything was okay, going as far as putting an iratze in front of the boy. But to Rafael’s young mind, blood meant something horrible had happened and he had mother-henned Alec that night. He even refused to leave his Daddy and his parents had let him but the moment he was asleep, Magnus had brought him back to his own bed where Max had already slept soundly.  

What made Rafael’s anxiousness worse was when the next day, he woke up and his Daddy hadn’t yet. Alec had unintentionally slept in due to exhaustion from last night but Rafael had a bunch of thoughts of his own. So many scenarios played inside his mind and they were all from his repressed memories when he was a little orphan boy in Argentina. He had screamed his lungs out that day which instantly alarmed Magnus, Max, and the snoozing Alec. It took a lot to calm the hysterical boy but after a lot of hugs, kisses, cuddles, and assurances, Rafael was back to normal.

“Daddy is just tired, Rafe. Nothing bad has happened, okay?” Magnus kissed Rafael’s forehead first and then Max.

“Should we wake Daddy now to make sure he’s really, really okay?” Rafael seemed reluctant to believe his Ayah’s verification.

“Oh, we _will_ absolutely wake Daddy up after we’re done bathing because…I have a surprise for him. I’m in need of two assistants though. Hmmm…where can I find two willing helpers at such a short notice?” Magnus pretended to be in deep thought.

“Me, Ayah…me!” Max was so eager, the water splashed wildly in the tub.

“I wanna help too, Ayah!” Rafael raised his hands up and waved to get Magnus’ attention.

“Well thank you, children. My plan is fifty percent complete now thanks to you.” Magnus said with a huge smile and picked up both his sons out of the tub. He wrapped both of them in big, white, fluffy towels and stood in front of the huge floor to ceiling bathroom mirror. With a snap of his fingers, all three of them were now fully dressed and looking impeccable. Rafael was dressed in a blue t-shirt — the same shade as Max’s skin — and light brown khakis, whereas Max appeared dashing in a dark brown t-shirt and navy blue jeans.  

_Dress to impress._

It was Magnus Bane’s motto for himself _and_ his children.

With the exception of Alexander of course, whose choice of clothing was none other than the color _black_.

“We look absolutely _marvelous_.” Magnus twirled in front of the mirror to make a statement, causing his children to follow his action.

“ _Marlous_.” Max repeated, but couldn’t seem to pronounce the word correctly. He giggled when he couldn’t twirl perfectly like his Ayah and stumbled into Rafael’s arms who was always by his side to catch him.

“It’s time to wake the sleeping beauty named Daddy.” Magnus grinned, carrying Max and Rafael one on each arm to the dining table.

“Good morning…” A deep voiced all of a sudden greeted the little family.

Magnus was beaming when he saw who the person was. “Ah, Alexander…good morning _indeed_. I’m glad you finally grace us with your presence, dear.” He teased.

Alec’s face turned red as if he was caught doing something despicable. “Sorry I overslept.”

Magnus clicked his tongue in disapproval. “There's no need for you to apologize. All is well. Did you sleep well? I was about to wake you before you showed up.”

“Yeah, I did.” Alec walked toward Rafael and kissed the boy’s forehead. He then took a seat beside Max and kissed the boy too. “Were you being good boys to Ayah earlier?” He asked his sons who seemed fidgety for some unknown reason.

“Of _course_ , Daddy.” Max gave his Daddy the side-eye. He appeared a bit offended.

Alec chuckled seeing his youngest son’s reaction. The kids must have been very well behaved since he barely twitched in his sleep prior. Usually he would be woken up by their loud chatter or the noises they would make when they were playing. Nevertheless today, he hadn’t heard anything. It was either he was incredibly exhausted the night before or the kids were indeed in a good manner.

Alec would always choose the latter.  

“Breakfast is served!” Magnus conjured his magic easily and in seconds, the dining table was filled with food. “Bon Appétit!”

“You made Nasi Lemak!” Max was literally bouncing in his seat. His eyes were sparkling in delight. The Malaysian based dish was his all-time favorite.

“And pancakes too!” Rafael barged in, clapping his hands.

“M-Magnus!” Alec sputtered in disbelief. He didn’t share the same excitement as his children.

Magnus rolled his eyes, knowing exactly what was on Alec’s mind. “Don’t fret, love. I didn’t summon any of them from any eateries if that’s what you worry about. I cooked them myself.”

Alec appeared taken aback. “ _You_ cooked?”

Magnus rolled his eyes again. “ _Yes_ , Alexander…is that so hard for you to grasp?”

“W-Why?” Alec stuttered. It wasn’t that Magnus a bad cook, he was actually a great one but he rarely cooked for breakfast. In the years they were together, Alec could count exactly how many times Magnus had cooked breakfast. He often _conjured_ them from someplace though so that didn’t count.

“I can’t cook for my boys now?” Magnus narrowed his eyes but there wasn’t any heat in them. “I can’t feed my boys till they’re full and happy anymore?”

“Of course you can." 

“Then, what is the problem, Alexander?” 

“There are so many foods!” Alec let out a very unmanly shriek. “The four of us certainly can’t finish all of these!”

“We can always call Jace over to finish them…” Magnus said nonchalantly as he finally sat next to Rafael.

“Why did you cook so much?” Alec was still flabbergasted seeing all the food in front of him.

“Eat, Daddy.” Max mumbled, with mouth full of food. “It’s good.”

Alec wiped Max’s mouth with a napkin. “I’m going to, buddy.”

Munching happily, Rafael glanced at Alec. “Hurry, Daddy. We got plans.” 

“Are we going somewhere upscale? You and the boys are all dressed up.” Alec rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he ate a piece of bacon because while his family was in immaculate clothes, he was only in his boxer.

Unearthly blue glow appeared from Magnus’ fingertips and the lights in the room were instantly turned off, replaced by candles all over the dining room floor. Max and Rafael promptly abandoned their food to observe the candles closely. Alec sucked in a deep breath as Magnus got up from his seat and stood in front of him before getting down on one knee. It was a miracle he didn’t choke on the bacon he was eating.

Alec could feel his heart beating wildly. “M-Magnus…w-what are you…what are you d-doing?”

Kneeling on the floor, Magnus took Alec’s hand in his trembling one. “Alexander, you’re the best thing that had ever happened to me in 400 years. When I first saw you all those years ago, I was instantly captivated. You were so shy and oblivious back then and it only made me want to try harder just so that I can get to know you. You give me love, you give me a family…something I hadn’t had since I was two. It takes me 400 years to finally meet you and I’m not planning to let you go. I’ve made the mistake once and I’m not gonna be the fool who let a man as precious as you slip through my fingers. I’m never gonna let you go ever again.”

Magnus stared into Alec’s stunning hazel eyes. The exquisite hazel orbs seemed like they were hiding the secrets of the universe. “You told me that I was your firsts of so many things, that I’m your first love. You aren’t my first, but I want you to be my last, Alexander. I know I want this and I’m sure about it but I wanna make this right, the way you deserve.” He paused briefly. “I know how much you hate PDA, how you don’t like strangers interfere with your life but you love your family so much…especially this little family we’ve created together. I wanna the entire world to know that you’re mine, Alexander, so…”

Seeing their Ayah in that position, Rafael and Max ran back toward their parents and stood beside the kneeling Magnus. Alec tore his gaze away from Magnus for a moment. Only then he noticed his children’s outfit. Both boys were wearing the same printed shirts but in different colors. 

And written on those shirts in bright yellow neon was… 

_Daddy, will you marry our Ayah?_

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood…will you marry me, Magnus Bane?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anak means a child. Anak-anak means children.  
> Thank you so much for reading. I truly appreciate it. Comments, kudos, bookmarks, subscribes, etc. are always welcome. :)


	4. Ruin the moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today (July 5th) is my birthday and my gift to you lovely readers is a Malec SMUT, hihihi! I have to warn you though that I'm terrible when it comes to writing smut. I hope this one is acceptable. ;)

Magnus Bane could feel every cell in his heart was slowly dying because of Alexander lack of words. There was no indication whatsoever either. In his state of almost panicking, Magnus realized he couldn’t grasp _what_ exactly was on his Alexander’s mind. The hazel eyed Shadowhunter was seemingly speechless, still on his chair like a statue. But Magnus had to admit, Alexander made a very stunning statue. Like a Greek God without even trying. Magnus didn’t know how many minutes had passed but it felt like more than an hour to him and his fragile heart.  

Perhaps he had read the situation wrongly. Sure, he and Alexander loved one another, committed to each other, and they loved their children more than anything. But…perhaps proposing to Alec had been the wrong call. Despite their love and the little family they had together, it might be too early to ask Alec’s hand in marriage. He often forgot how _young_ Alec truly was. Their relationship began when Alec had just reached adulthood. They had become Daddy and Ayah to a warlock child when Alec was just twenty years old, still a _child_ himself. Alec was twenty-three years old now, a notable Shadowhunter, founder of the New York Academy, leader of the New York Institute, and a father of two.

Alec was forced to grow up before his time because of circumstances.

Because he was a Shadowhunter.

Because he was a _Lightwood_.

And now Magnus was about to add the title _husband_ to the long list of Alec’s responsibilities.

Magnus felt guilty all of a sudden and based on Alec’s reaction, he was one hundred percent sure he had made a rash decision. This proposal perhaps was a bad idea. He was subconsciously _forcing_ Alec into this. The burden of being someone’s husband at such a young age might be too much. But he had thought of this through. Call him selfish or soulless, he didn’t care because he _wanted_ Alexander. He wanted to make Alexander his husband _legally_. He wanted everyone to know who Alexander belonged to. He was possessive that way when it came to Alexander Gideon Lightwood.

If Alexander rejected him, Magnus didn’t know what he would do.  

“Yes.”

Magnus’ head snapped so fast he started to feel dizzy. His mind must have been playing tricks on him. “Come again?”

Alec glanced at Max and Rafael and when he was certain the boys were out of the hearing range — if he spoke very quietly — he grinned at Magnus naughtily. “Come _again_? How can I come again if I haven’t even come _once_ today?”

Magnus looked miserable. He always welcomed Alec’s cheekiness since it was rather rare but not right now. Not when his heart was about to burst out of his chest. “Alexander, please…”

Choosing to end Magnus’ misery, Alec leaned forward and cupped the warlock’s face in his hands. “Yes, Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn and the father of my children…I’ll marry you.” He said loud enough so that his babies would hear him too.

Hearing Alec’s answer, Rafael shrieked piercingly. “Daddy said yes!”

“Yeay!” Max responded with an equal loud scream. “Ayah and Daddy are getting married!”  

Magnus’ beam was so bright Alec was momentarily blinded by it. Magnus instantly stood from his kneeling position and gathered Alec in his arms and kissed his new fiancé senseless. Their kids were making disgusted faces but they looked beyond adorable. When Magnus slipped the engagement ring into Alec’s finger, their boys’ disgusted faces were instantly replaced with a look of fascination. Rafael let out a squeak while Max squirmed when Alec and Magnus enfolded them in a bear hug. Kisses were given sloppily and laughter was shared in the small group. 

When the four of them finally broke apart, the boys took off running around the candles with delight while Alec inspected the engagement ring on his finger. It was simple and yet so beautiful. He loved how Magnus had included their children on this beautiful day. If possible, he wanted to share _all_ of his happy moments with his children and his engagement was one of them. He had thought it would be a typical Sunday morning where they would go to the park but here he was…a newly engaged man. He adored the simplicity of all of this. It was just him, Magnus, and their children to witness the beautiful moment.

Magnus truly knew him well.

In truth, Alec had more than once thought about proposing to Magnus but he was _petrified_. He knew Magnus loved him and that his love was genuine but Magnus was a four hundred years old warlock and in his lifetime, he had _never_ gotten engaged or married to someone, not even _once_. Based on that fact alone Alec wasn’t sure if marriage was the kind of _onus_ Magnus would like to commit. Because it would definitely take their relationship to whole new level. So yeah, his insecurities had prevented him from taking the plunge in asking Magnus to marry him first.

Nevertheless, he was an _engaged_ man now.

He was engaged to _Magnus Bane_.

He was Magnus Bane’s _fiancé_.      

“The ring was my mother’s.” Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec’s middle, interrupting the younger man’s reverie.

“It was?” Alec gasped slightly, scrutinizing the ring once more. No wonder why it looked vintage. Despite that, the ring was absolutely exquisite — white gold with diamond as its accent gemstone.  

“It was one of the few belonging of hers that I manage to grab before fleeing Indonesia.” Magnus said softly. “I’m immensely happy that it is now yours to keep, Alexander.”

“Magnus, are you _sure_? It was your mother’s and I…I don’t think I’m—”

“I’m absolutely certain, dear. You’re the man that I love. There’s no other person who deserve to have it more than you.” Magnus kissed Alec’s jaw affectionately.

“I love you.” Alec craned his neck to peck on Magnus’ lips.

“Love you more.” Magnus replied, tightening his hold on Alec. “I had it altered a bit to make it look more masculine and less feminine to suit you, Alexander. And of course, to ensure you’d fit it in as well. You have huge hands and fingers, my dear.”

“Way to ruin the moment, Magnus.” Alec smacked Magnus’ arm lightly. “I didn’t hear any complaint from you about my _huge_ hands and fingers when I was fuckin—”

“Will there be a big picture of you and Ayah when you get married, Daddy?” Rafael was suddenly in front of them, making Alec snapped his mouth shut and swallowed hard. He blushed like a tomato in seconds and prayed to all of the angels that Rafael didn’t hear what he had said seconds ago.

Perceiving Alec’s inability to form a word out of shock, Magnus chuckled. “What big picture, Rafe?”

Rafael appeared far too serious for a five-year-old. “You know…the ones where you put on the wall in the living room where everyone can see when they come over. I saw Aisha’s parents’ picture in their living room when I played with her at her house. And…and Matthew’s parents have one too.”

Max occasionally nodded as his brother spoke. “I saw the pictures too!”  

Magnus swayed a bit, together with Alec in his embrace. “You mean a wedding portrait?”

Rafael nodded. “Will you get one?”

“You _want_ us to have one?” Magnus replied to his son’s question with another question.

“Y-Yeah.” Rafael appeared a tad hesitant to admit it. “Because it means you’re married. All of my friends’ parents are married and…and I want you and Daddy to be married too.”

Rafael’s proclamation made Alec glanced at him in surprise. He didn’t know that his eldest son wanted him and Magnus to get married. They weren’t _accustomed_ to the mundane lifestyle in which unmarried couple had children and such. The Shadow World didn’t really accept homosexuality at first either. Everyone had to be straight and Shadowhunters married early, and so did the other respectable Shadow World species.

Rafael’s friends at the New York Academy were mostly Shadowhunters and werewolves. Aisha was a year older than Rafael and she was also a Shadowhunter, and little Matthew was born as a werewolf and he was in Luke’s pack together with his parents. Thus, of course after seeing his friends’ family Rafael wanted the same thing for his family. Like Rafael, Alec too had seen the wedding portraits of his fellow acquaintances when he brought Rafael and Max over for playdates, and he yearned to have one of those. He was a traditional guy from a traditional family. Despite being gay, he wanted what other couples had too — fell in love, got married, and had a few kids of his own. He and Magnus had done everything in reverse, not that there was anything wrong with that.

But having everything legalize would be incredible.  

“Of course, dear. We’ll have the biggest wedding portrait ever!” Magnus told Rafael animatedly and Alec was once again brought back from his musing.  

“And we’ll have you and Max in the portrait with us.” Alec stated with conviction.  

“Cool!” Rafael beamed widely, tugging Max closed to him.

“Yeay!” Max clapped happily.     

“Magnus Bane!” A sudden roar was heard as the front door creaked open and all four of the Lightwood-Banes turned their head. Rafael and Max rushed to the living room, knowing all too well who the voice belonged to.

“You know I love my big brother so much and that I love you too, Magnus, and I’d do _anything_ for my handsome nephews but you can’t text me at the last minute saying you need my help babysitting!” Isabelle Lightwood’s upset voice echoed in the entire loft. She was obviously rambling. “Even though I feel _flattered_ you prefer me to babysit before Clary and Jace… _Simon_ needs my attention too and—”

“Daddy and Ayah are getting married!” Max approached his aunt and shrieked, literally bouncing in front of Isabelle with his brother. He didn’t even feel guilty interrupting his aunt’s assertion of distress.

“Wh-What?” Isabelle blinked, frozen.

“Ayah asked Daddy to marry him!” Rafael volunteered an explanation for his stunned aunt. “Ayah got on one knee like in the movie, Aunt Izzy! And…and Daddy almost choke on his bacon and Max and I were giggling and…and…and then Daddy said yes!” Rafael was out of breath from all of the excitement surging in his body.

Just then Magnus and Alec entered the living room hand in hand. Magnus appeared proud while Alec seemed smitten. There was a blush on her brother’s cheeks and Isabelle wondered what had happened before her arrival. Her nephews themselves appeared like they were high on sugar, bouncing nonstop since she arrived. Truthfully, it wasn’t _that_ bizarre to see the scene before her because Alec had been constantly _enamored_ ever since he and Magnus got together and her nephews were _always_ hyperactive after all.

“You proposed?!” Isabelle was in Magnus personal space straightaway, needing a solid confirmation before she burst.

“Indeed, Isabelle.” Magnus disclosed right away.

“Hmmm…” Isabelle hummed, scrutinizing the couple. “You dressed like a dream and proposed to Alec who was only in his underwear. That’s interesting.”

“If it was up to me, Alexander would be completely _naked_.” Magnus whispered giddily. “But the kids are around so I had to make it PG. Not for long though.”

“Magnus!” Alec reprimanded, face turned red due to embarrassment.

Isabelle gave a sly grin. “Aaah, now I get it why you’re in dire need for a babysitter.”

Magnus smiled sweetly at Isabelle. “I’d be _eternally_ grateful if you could take them for the day, darling Isabelle. Alexander and I will drop by the Institute to fetch them by dinner time.”

“Fine, I’ll take them while you two consummate your engagement. But you owe me one. _Both_ of you.” Isabelle smirked devilishly. “Alright, boys…I have great news! You will be spending your Sunday with me!” She excitedly told her nephews afterwards.

“What’s wrong, kiddos?” Alec was the first to ask, noticing his sons were pouting. He was expecting Max and Rafael would be thrilled to spend time with Isabelle like they usually did.

“Don’t wanna go.” Max responded. “Wanna stay here with you.”

“It’s just for a few hours, dearies.” Magnus immediately kneeled in front of Max and Rafael. “Daddy and I have… _work_ to do.”

“ _Hard_ work.” Isabelle interjected, causing Alec to blush while Magnus sniggered.

“You’ll have so much fun with Aunt Izzy, I promise.” Magnus tried to persuade.

“Hey…” Isabelle said, pulling Max and Rafael’s focus from Magnus to her. “Uncle Simon bought a new drone. It has camera and everything!”

The dejected looks on Rafael and Max’s faces changed rapidly. Uncle Simon always had awesome toys and the best part was he often let them play with his toys even if they were new. It would be more awesome if Uncle Jace was there too because he’d fight with Uncle Simon to see who was the best.

“Ready to go, boys?” Magnus was the one who asked. He already had the boys’ bags in his hands.

“Someone seems eager to be alone.” Isabelle commented quietly, guffawing while taking the bags from Magnus.

Magnus winked and Alec was ready to flee and hide where they would never find him. Although he was now comfortable with being gay, showing a bit here and there PDAs, his sex life was still over limit. He didn’t like to share it with anyone _especially_ not his baby sister. He was certain Isabelle would tell everyone that he and Magnus were engaged and the moment they stepped inside the Institute tonight, Jace would be teasing him nonstop. Clary might join in too, and Simon, and oh by the Angels if _Lydia_ would be there too. He hoped for the best and hugged and kissed each of his children, and Magnus did the same afterwards before Isabelle ushered Rafael and Max out of the door, leaving him and Magnus alone in the loft.

“So…” Alec looked at Magnus over his long, thick eyelashes. “What are—”

“Bedroom, _now_.” Magnus promptly commanded. His mouth was so close, words drawn out with warm breath across Alec’s lips. “I have the urge to devour and make sweet, _sweet_ love to my _fiancé_.”

_Fiancé_.

It was Magnus’ favorite word as from now on.

Alec smirked, letting himself being tugged by Magnus to their bedroom. They were alone now. No more prying eyes or nosy sister to make sexual innuendoes that make him uncomfortable. They reached the bedroom in a record time and he swallowed hard when Magnus stared wickedly at him. To say that Alec wasn’t affected by the dark stare was a complete lie because his cock twitched happily in his boxer, and it suddenly felt too _tight_.

By the angels, the way he felt right now, it was sinfully so _good_.

“I’m awfully _overdressed_ , aren’t I?” Magnus said slyly, shimmying out of his clothes — all layers of them — slowly and excruciatingly. One thing about Magnus was that he rarely used magic during sex. He loved to take him time, to _earn_ it and at the same time he loved to _torture_ Alec.

Seeing Magnus naked, Alec’s eyes blown wide — pure hazel around a huge black center. “Enough with the teasing.” He growled.

Magnus gulped, intimidated and loving the tone at the same time. Alec was what they normally called a prince on the streets and a freak in the sheets because hell, just knowing only _he_ had ever seen this kind of Alec made him want to explode. When Alec grabbed at him, Magnus could only whimper. Alec’s fingers sank into Magnus’ soft hair, mouth colliding. He sinfully sucked on Magnus’ lower lip, teeth grazing. Magnus involuntarily let out another choked off whimper as Alec’s hand grasping his face, pressing against him, hips rocking into him.

“Want you so much, Alexander…” Magnus whispered, licking over the swell of Alec’s lower lip. He wrapped his palms around Alec’s jawline and tilted his head back to give Alec full access.

Alec’s tongue instantly trailed up the line of Magnus’ pulse and the warlock’s eyes rolled back in his head. Nobody had ever touched him like this, the combination of lust and love into one. He curled his fingers around Alec’s black hair and pulled him in, spinning them around. He dragged both of them backwards and let his legs gave, falling backwards when his calves hit the edge of the bed. He yanked Alec with him. The Shadowhunter’s weight fell on top of him, pushing the breath out of his lungs as his back met the bed.

Alec’s eyes were wide. He appeared startled for a split second, just staring down at Magnus. He recovered quickly and began to kiss Magnus until the older man arching against him. He dragged his cock against Magnus’ with perfect friction through the thin material of his boxer separating them. The kick of arousal certainly made his mouth dry.

“Take it off.” Magnus grunted, tugging at Alec’s boxer. It was the only thing remained that hindering him from touching and seeing every inch of Alec’s skin. “Before I _rip_ it.”

“Getting impatient, aren’t we?” Alec snickered and sat up just enough to strip out of his underwear in haste. “Patience is a virtue, dear.”

Magnus gazed at Alec’s sprung free dick, making his mouth water in eagerness. It looked pornographically obscene hanging there between his legs, huge and hard and spilling pre-cum in strands. His eyes were manic and wild in his haze of arousal. He pulled Alec down again, kissing him and they both groaned by the feeling of skin against skin. His left hand skillfully crept down Alec’s bare torso as they kissed, over his hips and traced down its way along the hazel eyed man’s thigh before expertly caressing and stroking the firm flesh that was proudly red and hard.

“Fuck, Magnus!” Alec groaned sharply, pulling from Magnus’ mouth.   

“No more…foreplay.” Magnus was panting. “Do it.”

Alec reached blindly for the bottle of lube in the nightstand. He poured some onto his hand and worked a single digit into Magnus’ hole, receiving a deep grunt from the older man. Magnus was almost sobbing when he added a second finger and brushed over his prostate. He worked Magnus open steadily and added a third finger before withdrawing. “Ready?”

“Always…” Magnus replied breathlessly. “Make love to me, Alexander.”

“I love you.” Alec said genuinely, hair slick with sweat despite the coldness of the room.

Alec pushed into Magnus so excruciatingly slow, hard cock head opening Magnus, and bottomed out in one long stroke. Thin burn of pain filled Magnus up until he couldn’t think or feel anything else. Magnus had always loved the burn and stretch whenever Alec slid into him when they had sex. He _loved_ the sensation of being _filled_ by his Shadowhunter. Being a Nephilim, Alec had a strength that could crush creatures triple his size and he used the same strength when he made love. His thighs were nothing but pure muscle and his ass was glorious and Magnus’ mouth watered just thinking about it.

As for his manhood…well, Alexander Lightwood was in no way _small_. Magnus could proudly say that his young Shadowhunter fiancé was _well hung_.

“Alexander…” Magnus bit out the words, holding on to Alec like a lifeline. His whole body shuddered in a rush of pleasure and pain. But the pain was melting into pleasure, coursing through his body.

“So good. You feel so _good_ , M-Magnus.” Alec drew his hips away from Magnus and slowly dragged his cock against the sweet spot inside his lover. As he thrust, Magnus rose to meet him and their bodies meeting with a jolt.

Magnus dug his nails into Alec’s skin, kissing him hard. “Ughhh…”

Alec groaned in return, snapping his hips into Magnus so hard the bed slammed into the wall. There would be a mark later, scored into the paint and plaster. “You…You w-wrecked me, Mag-Magnus…”

“Y-Yes, Alexander. Give it to me.” Magnus threw his head back against the pillow, heels digging into the small of Alec’s back. “Give me all you got.”

Sealing their mouth together, their bodies locked in a rhythm. Alec pulled Magnus even tighter against him, pulling out before he corkscrewed his hips and did it again, again, and _again_ , hitting Magnus’ sweet spot every single time.

“Want you so bad. _Need_ you…” Magnus gasped with pleasure.

Alec obliged, fucking Magnus harder into the mattress. He braced one hand on the bed beside him and the other holding on Magnus’ left leg, pulling it up to his shoulder as he fucked him steadily. The bed was creaking and groaning underneath them. His mind was whirling with thoughts of how hot and amazing his _fiancé_ looked below him.

“Oh fuck, _please_.” Magnus saw stars behind his eyes. He was rock hard, wetness leaking from the tip of his cock.

“M-Magnus!” Alec’s rhythm speed up and bit Magnus’ lower lip so hard he could taste blood.

“Yes! Ahh!” It hit him like a lightning, leaving Magnus breathless and writhing against the bed as he came untouched. His whole body tensed, clamping around Alec’s cock.

Succeeding satisfying his man, Alec began to sink into Magnus unrelentingly, seeking his own release. He was so fucking close. He thrust a few times before his hips stuttered, his stomach muscle rippling as his orgasm hit him. “Magnus!”

Alec slumped forward and laid his head on Magnus’ chest. Magnus was breathing fast and his heart was thumping rapidly in his chest but the sound of it brought comfort to Alec. He buried his face in the crook of Magnus’ neck, trying to regulate back his breathing as well as finding the action was calming to them both.

“You, my dear Alexander…are _amazing_.” Magnus slurred, still high on the bliss of passion.

Alec smiled tiredly and was about to reply but his smile turned into a slight grimace when his still hard cock twitched while he was still inside Magnus. His youth and his ability to stay hard even after coming was a very welcoming revelation and being with Magnus only made his libido heightened. Magnus was his first love after all, his first kiss, his first time and his firsts of _everything_.

Magnus chuckled because he could feel the tingling sensation in him too. “I was gonna say that you’re horny like a teenager, but you _are_ a teenager after all so my statement is invalid.”

“I’m twenty-three.” Alec narrowed his eyes, lying there contentedly. There was no indication that he was about to pull out though.

“May I suggest round two then?” Magnus said devilishly, pushing Alec down and climbing up on top of him.

“I’m ready if you are.” There was amusement in Alec’s voice as he was being manhandled by Magnus while they were still joined to one another.

“Oh, I am, dear.” Magnus was straddling Alec feverishly and snatched Alec’s stele on the bedside table. “But this time…we’re going to put that stamina rune of yours to use.”     

“You’re gonna be the death of me, Magnus.” Alec’s breath hitched but he obediently took the stele from Magnus and activated his stamina rune. Instantly there was energy flowing through his veins and skin.

“Angel, I want you again.” Magnus’ eyes widen with lust. He licked his way slowly up Alec’s neck. “Wanna do _everything_ to you. My turn to fuck you till you scream.”

“Take me.” Alec grunted with need.

“You’re _mine_ , Alexander. Only mine. There’ll be no one else, ever.” Magnus growled, staking his claim.

“Only yours…” Alec agreed.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lack of comments made me wonder...am I a really good writer till nobody wants to comment anything or is it because I'm a really bad one people think commenting is not worth of their time? I bet it's the latter. :( 
> 
> Comments would surely improve my writing and give me muse to write the next chapter and so on. 
> 
> But still...thank you for reading. :)


	5. Forget about her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.  
> As a reminder to my dear readers, this fiction of mine is the complete alteration from Cassandra Clare's original works. Dead characters might be alive, and good characters might be bad in this story. Only a few facts from the original works will remain. Thank you. ;)

Maxwell Michael Lightwood-Bane was truly enjoying himself as he strolled down the streets hand-in-hand with his Ayah. Today he got to spend the entire day with him. He was devastated at first when Daddy and Rafael couldn’t join them but despite missing his Daddy and big brother, it was awesome to have Ayah all to himself for the day. They had gone shopping because unlike Daddy and Rafael, he loved shopping for clothes and of course _toys_. Ayah had bought him new outfits and new shoes to match the clothes and together they had chosen stuff for Rafael and Daddy as well. Ayah had even bought a bright color leather jacket for Daddy which they both knew Daddy would _never_ wear but Ayah still purchased it anyway.

The world was getting a tinge of orange and purple and Ayah said it was called dusk and it was time for them to go home. They were going to buy dinner first before heading home to meet Daddy and Rafael. He had learned so many new things today. He was shocked when he found out that Uncle Simon and Aunt Clary were once mundanes! Of course he knew what mundanes were. That was why every time he, Rafael, Ayah, and Daddy went out to the mundane world, Ayah had to glamor his eyes. Ayah had helped him changing his own blue skin to the same tone as Daddy and hid his budding horns too.

But he didn’t mind it and kind of loved it because his blue hair would be turned into the same shade of dark hair as his brother and fathers.

Max loved his family _so much_.

He loved Ayah, Daddy, and Rafael lots and lots and lots.

And Aunt Isabelle, Uncle Jace, Uncle Simon, Aunt Clary, Aunt Lydia, and Grandpa, and Chairman Meow. He was scared of Grandma though because she always yelled at everyone when she came to the Institute including Daddy and she was mean to Ayah all the time.

Magnus held his son’s hand as they crossed the road toward the restaurant. “What do you want for dinner, Blueberry?”

Max looked up at his Ayah and smiled. “Mac and cheese!”

Magnus hummed in approval. “Good choice. What about Daddy and Rafe? What would they want for dinner tonight? Could you guess?”

Max closed his eyes and thought profoundly. “Rafael loves the meatballs. As for Daddy, Daddy will eat anything you eat, Ayah.”

“True.” Magnus chuckled. Alexander wasn’t a picky eater. He would eat _anything_ as long as it would starve off his hunger. He himself however, was incredibly choosy of the things he ate. Aside from Taki’s, they often ate here as a family because it was one of the _acceptable_ eateries for him.

“Hello.” A woman approached the father and son duo, causing Magnus to stop abruptly.

Magnus pushed Max behind him who seemed a little bit startled. Despite being loomed all the time by mundanes mostly who always wanted to coo at Max’s adorableness, the woman in front of them was giving the young warlock a weird _vibe_. And being a warlock, no matter how young he was, there was something wrong with this woman. He could _feel_ the hatred ambience from his Ayah toward the woman.

“Fancy seeing you here, _Magnus Bane_.” 

Magnus barely gave the woman a glance before he tugged Max’s hand gently yet urgently and began to walk away. He didn’t need this in his life right now. He had been happily engaged to Alec for three months now and he wasn’t going to jeopardize his happiness because of this _creature_ again. He would _not_ let his past interfere in his future for a second time.

Never again. 

“Awww, where are you going? I just want to have a chat, lover.”

“Who is she, Ayah?” Max’s curiosity made him ask despite the situation.

“Remember what I told you how dangerous it is to talk to strangers?” Magnus asked as they sauntered, receiving a nod from Max. “Well, she is the _most_ dangerous stranger in the world.”

Magnus didn’t care if he was exaggerating. He just knew he wanted to get away. He didn’t want Max to be involved in this at all. Not because he was scared, he simply didn’t know _what_ he would actually do if he stayed. If only they were secluded from the public, he would have conjured a portal by now. He was utterly _done_ giving the abomination his time, his forgiveness, his everything. She truly didn’t deserve any of it.

“But she knows your name. How can she be a stranger if she knew your name?” Max kept looking back at the woman as he followed Magnus’ pace.

“You’re a smart one, little boy.” The woman was all of a sudden face-to-face with Max, causing him to let out a surprise yelp and for Magnus to stop walking. “What’s your name?”

“Max.” Max answered simply because Daddy always said he had to answer whenever someone asked him questions nicely. According to Daddy it was courtesy.

“Get away from my son.” Magnus swiftly picked Max up into his arms.

“ _Max_ , huh? You were named after the dead Shadowhunter Max Lightwood, weren’t you? Why would you name your son after a dead person, Magnus? I heard your eldest was named after Raphael Santiago, _another_ dead one. Do you have this bizarre kink naming your children after deceased people? Do you _get_ _off_ to that?” The woman kept her taunting. “What if your beloved Alexander died, Magnus? Would you named your next child after him? What if it was a girl? May I suggest Alexandria?”

Magnus glared viciously at the woman. If look could kill, she would be _dead_ by now. She _knew_ how much mortality had become a pressure in his and Alexander’s relationship. She _knew_ how much he would dread the moment of Alexander’s imminent death. “What do you want, Camille?” 

Camille smirked arrogantly. She was satisfied Magnus had acknowledged her at last. “Oh, nothing…just wanna say hi. I’ve never met your… _offspring_ before so I might just do it while I got the chance.” 

Magnus didn’t look pleased in the least. Max was completely quiet in his hold and he had no doubt his son had _sensed_ the bad aura surrounding Camille. “There’s always something with you. So, _what_ do you want from me?”    

“I guess congratulations are in order. I heard you and your Shadowhunter boy toy are engaged.” Tried as she might, Camille couldn’t hide her abhorrence and it didn’t go unnoticed by Magnus but he didn’t comment on it. “Who proposed to whom? Was it you, Magnus? When is the big day?”

“It’s none of your business. Now, if you’ll excuse me…” Magnus feigned a smile. He didn’t want to cause a scene with Max around.

“Humor me, Magnus…for old time’s sake.” Camille swiftly blocked Magnus way.  

Magnus harrumphed in disdain. “One thing for sure is that it’d be a _grand_ wedding. Wedding of the year if you may…in which both Alexander and I will be wearing gold. And yeah, I’m the one who proposed. Satisfied?”

Camille threw her head back, laughed out loud. “You wanna wear _gold_ on your wedding day? Keep on dreaming, honey. The Clave would never _allow_ that. He’s the child of Raziel, you’re the product of Lilith! No matter how many changes you’ve done for the Shadow World…they would never accept your matrimony to Alec Lightwood.”

“It’s for me to know, and you to find out.” Magnus said indifferently.

“You should treat me nicely, my love. Who knows one day you might need my help.” Camille ran her fingers along Magnus’ arm and Max’s back intentionally.

“I thought I was done with you.” Magnus moved a few steps away from her.

“We’ll never be done with each other.” Camille said sweetly. “What we had, was…timeless.”

“It was _ancient_ history. My feelings for you have been long buried in the deepest of the sea. As I told you before, you could give me the past but Alexander is my future, and so are my children.” Magnus’ clutch on Max got tighter. The boy remained silent which was uncanny for a talkative and active child like him. Magnus _itched_ to get rid of Camille. “I’d not trade them for anything, not even a second with you. You’re of no value to me.”

“I’m giving you a chance to play nice, Magnus. You might regret it if you don’t.” From being sweet, Camille turned livid.

Ignoring Camille’s threat, Magnus glared at her. “Why are you here, really? Don’t give me that crap that you wanted to visit Raphael’s grave. You _despise_ him, and to you he was a traitor.”

Camille shrugged. “I simply want to be here, is that wrong? I’ve spent my lifetime between here and London, you know that.”

“Ayah…” Max mumbled quietly, hindering Magnus’ reply. He was getting restless.

“He’s cute, like his Daddy. And he called you Ayah, how sweet.” Camille cooed but his expression was more to a sneer than adoration.

“You better leave. Consider yourself lucky I didn’t make you _pay_ for hurting Alexander.” Magnus was downright growling when he thought back of Alec’s bruised side and fractured ribs.

“Till next time, my love.” Camille gave a flying kiss before disappearing in the cloak of the night.

“Are you okay?” Magnus asked Max the second Camille was out of sight.

“I don’t like her.” Max admitted soundlessly, burying his face in the crook of Magnus’ neck.

“Sorry you have to see that, Blueberry.” Magnus pursed his lips. He couldn’t believe Camille had once again ruined his day and this time, a beautiful day with his son.

Max didn’t response, only grappling onto Magnus compactly. Magnus had lost his appetite and he was sure Max did too. Canceling his plan to buy takeout dinner from the restaurant which was only a couple of feet away from him, Magnus decided he would just order pizza when he got home even though he knew Alec would be exasperated because he always wanted them to eat healthy. Magnus strode along the pathway toward his loft and hummed softly to calm Max. He himself needed to calm down too. Max’s ability to discern that something was wrong was both awe-inspiring and daunting. Not many warlocks could do that, not even him. He only knew Camille was bad news based on his own experience. But Max…he could sense it by the other person’s radiating _aura_ alone. Max’s magic aftereffect had proven one solid thing about Camille though. 

Camille Belcourt was truly a _bitch_.

Max had already fallen asleep when Magnus stepped inside the loft. As expected, Alec and Rafael were waiting for them. Both of them were in the living room, watching a Disney movie, a custom they had adapted from the mundanes thanks to Clary and Simon. It was Rafael’s favorite — Beauty and the Beast — because according to him, the Beast’s hairy nature reminded him off Matthew and Luke who were werewolves. Max contrariwise loved the new ones like Tangled and Big Hero 6. Magnus greeted his husband and eldest son and went to the boys’ bedroom and placed Max safely in bed before joining back the rest of his family. Usually Max would have taken a bath and brushed his teeth first before go to sleep but the boy seemed utterly beat so he let him for once.     

Even though Magnus didn’t want to trouble Alec regarding his meeting with Camille, he knew he had to. 

“Does a field trip with a bunch of the Shadow World’s kids is really _that_ tiring?” Magnus flopped himself on the couch beside Alec who seemed exhausted.

“They were little _monsters_.” Alec instinctively leaned in, resting his head on Magnus’ shoulder. 

Rafael turned to look at his parents from where he was seated on the floor. “Except for me.” 

Alec gave the boy a sincere smile. “Except for you, buddy.”

Rafael smiled back toothily before focusing back on the television. He appeared to have taken his bath and already in his pajamas. No matter how many times he had seen the movie, Rafael would always seem intrigued by it. He had even once dressed as one of the characters on Halloween. The Shadow World didn’t celebrate Halloween or Christmas or any other holidays either but Simon and Clary still did and so they had brought both Rafael and Max with them every year for trick-or-treating.

And the boys absolutely loved it.   

“Max tires himself out, huh?” Alec mumbled groggily. 

“Yeah. He was asleep before I even reached our block.” Magnus played with Alec’s fingers to compose himself. “It was a rather challenging evening for him.” 

“Why? What happened?” Alec instantaneously became alert. He straightened up from his seat. 

“Alexander, there’s no need to get worked up. Everything is fine.” Magnus tried to assure. “It’s just…we stumbled upon Camille and she wasn’t very _nice_ to say the least.” 

“What did she do?” Alec was angry and tried his best not to show it because Rafael was around but the rage was pulsating straight from his core. “Did she touch my son? Did she hurt Max?” 

“She did no such thing.” Magnus replied and just like Alec, he was obviously irritated. “She however had expressed openly how much she _loathed_ our engagement. She also had insulted our children. One might say she was jealous.” 

“Jealous of _what_? Of you? Of us?” 

“That I don’t know, Alexander.” Magnus sighed heavily. “And honestly, she had no reason to be resentful. Our dalliance was over for over a century.”    

“Whatever it is, I’ll kick her sorry ass if she ever insulted our children again. She can mess with me but not our sons. I’ll not be as forgiving as last time.” Alec hissed heatedly. 

“Let’s just forget about her, hmmm Alexander?” Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec and pulled him close till the Shadowhunter’s head was resting on his chest. “She’s just a _speck_ in our ostentatious life.” 

“A speck with fangs.” Alec huffed, crossing his arms. 

Magnus cackled at that. Alec’s spontaneous reaction was hilarious. Sometimes Alec could pull a laugh out of him without even trying and he adored the dark haired Shadowhunter for that. Rafael however didn’t share the same sentiment as Magnus. He turned once more to look at his parents with a frown, to identify what was the fuss that was going on with his daddies but his attention was back to the movie because it was showing the best and his favorite part. 

The beast and Belle were dancing in the ballroom.

“Will you dress up like Beast and Belle on your wedding day?” Rafael asked both of his fathers right after the scene was over who was taken aback by his question. “Beast’s blue and gold hue suit suits you, Ayah. And Daddy, Max said you’d look great in yellow like Belle. The yellow is so bright it looks golden.” 

“Why do I have to be Belle?” Alec grumbled. 

“I don’t know…” Rafael shrugged casually. “I guess you just look like a Belle, Daddy. And according to Ayah, you’re pretty. And Belle is pretty so you must have been Belle.” 

Alec glared at Magnus with a little bit of heat. “I am _not_ pretty. For your information, Rafael, unlike Ayah, _I_ could grow facial hair. _And_ …I’m taller. I’m _clearly_ the Beast to Ayah’s Belle.” 

Rafael blinked, lost. “I still get to be Chip, right?”    

Magnus laughed out loud yet again. Alec liked to retaliate on things he wasn’t fond of and this time it was his words against their son. Alec was acting like a child right now. He remembered Alec and Clary’s regular squabble. How they would shoot their comebacks to one another like kindergarteners. Even Jace didn’t want anything to do with it. To witness it again, he realized Alec didn’t change at all. The father of two, his fiancé, was the same person he had met years ago.

Hell, Magnus was marrying a _child_.

“Have you and your brother been planning for our wedding, Rafe?” Magnus chose to change the subject instead before the _quarrel_ got too far.

“Me, Max, Aunt Izzy, Aunt Clary, and Aunt Lydia.” Rafael confessed truthfully. “They said they wanna make it a wedding that people will remember for years and years.”

“By the Angel…” Alec facepalmed, horrified by the news.   

“Alexander, you’re sweating and pale.” Magnus noticed quickly when Alec slumped back onto him. He didn’t sweat just now and the loft was too cold to be perspiring profusely. “And you’re burning up. You have a fever.”    

“Daddy started to feel unwell in Idris, Ayah.” Rafael uttered, climbing on the couch to sit with his parents. The movie was no longer interest him. “Daddy was sweating so much Aunt Lydia forced us to return to the Institute. I didn’t want to leave Daddy alone so I too come back with him.”

“You’re such a good son, Rafe.” Magnus kissed the top of his son’s head. “So, what’s wrong, Alexander? What did the healers in the Institute say?”

“They couldn’t find anything. Their conclusion was that I was just exhausted. It had been a long week for me and a long day as well. I’m fine, Magnus.” Alec put a hand on Magnus’ arm as an assurance.

“Did you by chance get hurt during your last hunt that you didn’t notice and could lead to infection?” Magnus none too subtle ran his hands on Alec. His magic poured out of him easily while Rafael watched closely with attentiveness.  

“No, Magnus. I would’ve noticed it.” Alec gently pushed Magnus’ hands away.  

“Have you used your healing runes to make sure?”

“Yes, Magnus.” Alec rolled his eyes. “The Institute’s healers had suggested the same thing too but nothing happened because I’m _not_ hurt.”

Magnus frowned deeply. The only reason why a Shadowhunter like Alec would get a fever was because of infection and Magnus didn’t see or couldn’t detect any sustainable injuries on Alec either. Shadowhunters wouldn’t fall ill for unknown reasons. Sure, they got headaches occasionally when there were too many things on their minds, or they would get lightheaded when they didn’t get enough sleep, but those were minor health concerns. Nothing that an iratze or a mendelin couldn’t fix.

“Stop _worrying_.” Alec said calmly and much to Rafael’s chagrin, he kissed Magnus deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did I tell you? Comments make my muse appears and it makes me write faster. Even I'm surprised by it, haha! It only takes a few days for me to finish. Keep the comments coming, peeps! Comments, kudos, bookmarks, subscribes, etc. are always welcome. Thank you so much for reading. I truly appreciate it! :D


	6. Contemplating to quit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.  
> I'm certain my grammar for this chapter is all over the place. Please forgive me. I've tried my best. :(

Alec Lightwood was on fire. The feeling of adrenaline pumped through his veins was intoxicating and he was eager for more. Slaying demons and hunting rogue Downworlders were never easy but the challenge he faced almost every night was more than welcome. He used to be the one who watched from far, protecting others, protecting his siblings rather than joining the fight but no more. Now he got to fight _with_ them. He would never forget the _exhilaration_ the first time he ever killed a demon, how he easily became addicted to it. When he was on a hunt, he forgot about the world entirely. The only thought in his mind was to exterminate as many demons as possible. 

He couldn’t believe how he had lived for eighteen years before finally _indulging_ himself in killing demons. If only he knew how fun it would be, how satiating he would feel, he would have done it sooner. 

And well, he could say the same about _sex_ too. 

If only he had known how amazing sex would be, he probably would have lost his virginity at the same age Jace lost his because sex in general was indeed amazing. 

And sex with _Magnus_ was fucking _incredible_.

He might be _slightly_ biased on that considering his sexual experience was solely with Magnus but that was not the point.

The point was that being a Shadowhunter was indeed remarkable.

Alec panted harshly as he killed the last demon. The smelly creature was too close to be killed by an arrow so Alec ought to use his seraph blade instead. Either way it was a pure pleasure to be able to kill the son of a bitch. Once upon a time ago, he would sign up for every single scouting so he could forget his mother’s constant nag and his father’s disappointed look. Nowadays though, he went on a hunt for his family’s sake. So that his family, his children specifically could grow up without threats from the dark side of the Shadow World. Also with his children in mind, he had always been extra careful on hunts to make sure by the end of the night he would come home to his family. No matter how exhilarating his mission was, he couldn’t afford being reckless like Jace. He had two young sons waiting for him at home, young lives that were _dependent_ on him.

“Alec!” Jace’s piercing scream made Alec turned, abandoning the remnants of the demon. 

“Hey…” Alec greeted his fellow Shadowhunter, parabatai, and brother who was just like him covered in sweat, ichor and blood.

“Are you okay?! Are you hurt?!” Jace’s hands were all over Alec’s body in an instant. He appeared panicky, which was bizarre.

“I’ve never been better. It feels so good killing these demons.” Alec replied with a grin. “And stop touching me, you pervert!”

“I need to see if your wounds are severe or not!”  
 Jace’s face was pure upset as he forcefully yanked Alec closer.

“What?” Alec scowled and yanked himself away from Jace’s strong grip once more. Did Jace really think he couldn’t handle the demons all by himself simply because he had been having a mild fever for the past few days? That was ridiculous.

“Alec!” Jace grasped Alec’s arms and shook him vigorously, coercing him to look at him. “You’re bleeding from your nose and ears!”

Alec blinked and his fingers immediately went to his nose and then his ear and found out that he was indeed bleeding. Funny because he didn’t _feel_ anything, not the sluggish blood dripping into his skin, nor feel any pain at all. “Huh.”

“Look at me!” Alec’s lack of reaction made Jace edgy. He was overwhelmed with fear. The memory of Alec almost dying because of the Greater Demon haunted him. “Alec, please…tell me where does it hurt.” 

“It…doesn’t.” Alec said quietly, face contorted in confusion as he stared at his bloody fingers. “I feel…nothing.” 

Jace gawped at Alec as if he had grown a pair of horns like Max. He appeared more worried than before. He continued reapplying the healing runes on Alec’s skin even though he had just done so a few seconds back. Just like before, they didn’t work. They vanished into the skin without healing anything, and Alec was still bleeding. He didn’t know what else he could do to help his brother. Alec looked downright _lost_ like he couldn’t grasp what was happening and truth be told, so was Jace. He hated the unknown. He didn’t like things to be indefinite. When it involved your own parabatai, the feeling of hopelessness only got worse. 

“I’m taking you home to Magnus. He’ll know what to do.” Jace concluded, swiftly ripping his shirt and dabbed on Alec’s bleeding nose before doing the same with his ears. The cloth was somewhat dirty after the fight with horde of demons but it was better than nothing. There was simply no napkin or handkerchief or tissue for that matter to use.   

“Jace, no…” Alec unexpectedly and desperately grabbed Jace’s hand. He looked absolutely torn. “Let’s not cause any panic. This is probably nothing.” 

“Nothing?! How can you say this is nothing?!” Jace was half-screaming at Alec. His clutch on Alec involuntarily became tighter. “You’re _bleeding_ ceaselessly, Alec! From your ears and nose! I’m not taking any chances! I _will_ take you to Magnus whether you like it or not!” 

Alec sighed, defeated. He knew very well he wouldn’t win the argument. Not because Jace was stronger, but because he himself was scared. _Petrified_ even. He knew now that something was wrong. The bleeding was the evidence that there was something terribly wrong with him. He wasn’t stupid, he just didn’t think of it at first, not even after he was bedridden by Magnus when his fever got too high for him to function properly. He had blamed it on exhaustion and even Magnus only believed half of it, he at least was put at ease, that everything would sooner or later be okay. 

And now _this_ happened.

Magnus was going to _freak out_. 

“What’s happening to me, Jace?” Alec swallowed the lump in his throat.

“I don’t know, buddy.” Jace admitted softly, seemingly guilty for yelling at Alec earlier but he wasn’t going to beat around the bush. “But we’ll figure it out, I promise. No matter how difficult it’ll be, we’ll find a way.”

Alec’s heart pounded, knowing his request would look peculiar. “Can we…go back to the Institute and call the Silent Brothers instead? To help me.”

Jace was taken aback, eyes widened. He truly didn’t expect this. “You don’t want Magnus to heal you? You prefer strangers over your own fiancé? _Why_? I…I don’t understand.” 

Alec gazed down at his mud covered boots. “I don’t want him to worry, Jace. The past few days, when I was sick…it had taken its toll on him. First was the fever and now this? Magnus will be shattered knowing his preceding magic didn’t work. Every time I went on a hunt, he’d look haunted, afraid I might not coming back but he didn’t say anything and instead, he pretended to _support_ me for my sake. Every time I got hurt, he would look like he was about to have a heart attack, even if it was simply a graze. He had to deal with his mortal fiancé every day, always live in fear.”

“You’re a Shadowhunter, Alec. It’s what we do. And Magnus knew that when he chose to be with you. He knew the risk of dating a Shadowhunter.” Jace supplied sympathetically. “Are you contemplating…to quit?”

“No.” Alec’s answer came out easily from his pale lips. “Being a Shadowhunter is in my blood. I won’t stop at _anything_. I just…I wish I could spare my love ones from the pain.” 

“It’ll pain Magnus more if you let anyone else but him treat you. Magnus is your _best_ chance, Alec. He wasn’t appointed as the High Warlock of Brooklyn for nothing.” Jace put a comforting hand on Alec’s shoulder, dabbing the blood off of Alec’s ears and nose once more with a new piece of fabric of his t-shirt. He was trying to look strong in front of his parabatai but he wasn’t sure how long his composure would last before it crumbled. As the blood kept dripping more and more, Alec was getting paler. 

“If this turned out to be something abysmal, and Magnus finally figures what is wrong, I don’t want him to be the one who has to deliver the news. I don’t want that for him. The soul-crushing revelation will be too much. Even the High Warlock of Brooklyn can handle such disclosure.” Alec said somberly, seemingly utterly crushed. 

“I admit, it’ll be terrible for him but Alec…if he could discover the truth, I’m absolutely certain he’d find the cure as well.” Jace stated with conviction. “Magnus will bend heaven and hell for you, Alec. He’ll do whatever needs to be done to save you.” 

Alec eventually gave Jace a nod and let himself being manhandled by his brother. After securing Alec by his side, Jace pulled out his phone and began texting someone who was no doubt would be Magnus Bane because mere seconds later, a portal made of purple shards was opened in front of them. Alec closed his eyes as he stepped through the portal with Jace. He was actually dreaded to go home in his current state. Letting Magnus to check on him in order to find out why he was bleeding without apparent damages was inevitable but he didn’t want his kids to witness it too. Ever since Rafael had seen his head wound acquired from a routine patrol gone wrong, Rafael’s young mind had associated Alec’s injuries with the worst case scenarios ever, which had resulted in horrible nightmares. Alec really didn’t want to cause another bad dream to Rafael, or Max for that matter who seemed to be subconsciously affected by his big brother’s nightmare. 

“Alexander…” Magnus was visibly relieved to see Alec when his fiancé entered the bedroom together with his parabatai. He had been agitated since he received the text from Jace asking him to create a portal for them immediately. He of course had feared for the worst and had gone to the bedroom, safe from his sons’ prying eyes.

“Hey, Magnus.” Alec said casually. He didn’t want to alarm Magnus over unnecessary things. His breakdown in front of Jace was enough for the night.  

“Put him down on the bed…carefully.” Magnus instructed Jace who surprisingly did as he was told. The blonde haired boy was too distressed to banter with Magnus like he normally did.

“I’m not invalid, you know. I can go to the bed on my own.” Alec chuckled humorlessly as Jace helped him walk to the huge bed. His words betrayed him however when he stumbled and was immediately saved by his parabatai. If it wasn’t for Jace, his face would have embarrassingly planted itself on the wooden floor.

It would be very bad for his ego.

Both Alec’s fiancé and brother disregard him and the hazel eyed Shadowhunter was starting to feel suffocated from the tense atmosphere and the quietness of the room. Jace appeared extremely uneasy while Magnus was completely miserable seeing Alec’s bloody ears and nose. For a moment Alec had thought Magnus had developed the same paranoia as Rafael but as Magnus touched his face gently to inspect the damage, Alec felt guilty for putting Magnus in this position again. Time after time Magnus would come to his rescue. Alec was afraid if one day Magnus had had enough of this and leave him.  

“Alec was already bleeding when I found him.” Jace dutifully informed Magnus as Alec closed his eyes to block any unwanted thoughts into his conscience. “And it hasn’t stop since.” 

“The blood is thicker than normal.” Magnus warily observed, deliberately wiping away the nuisance with clean cloth that he had summoned with his magic.

“Magnus…” Alec clasped his callous fingers tenderly around Magnus’ wrist. His fiancé looked distraught and he would do anything to wipe the frown off of Magnus’ beautiful face. “It doesn’t hurt. I’m not in pain of any kind.”

“But your blood is slowly _drained_ out of you, Alexander. It might look nothing right now, just a simple nosebleed but if it continues, it will turn serious eventually.” Magnus shuddered at the thought of his Alexander suffering. He had seen a lot of misery in his four hundred years but he could never prepare himself for the pain when it came to his beloved Alexander.   

“It could be like the fever.” Alec provided his own theory to calm Magnus. “It might come and go. And before we know it, I’ll be fine again.”

Magnus let out a deep breath, noting the possible truth in Alec’s notion. “Either way, I’ll find out why these things happen to you all of a sudden. I need you to be okay, Alexander. I simply can’t settle down before I know everything.”

Alec leaned into Magnus’ touch. “Do what you need to do, Magnus, but please don’t overwork yourself.”

“Dry air could explain the nosebleed.” A well-built figure entered the bedroom suddenly and stealthily before steadily closing the door behind him. “It happened to me all the time when I was a kid.”

“In case you’ve forgotten, Alec is not a mundane. Another fact that you fail to recall is that mundane diseases don’t pollute us Shadowhunters…ever!” Jace was visibly exasperated.

“Nosebleed is not a _disease_ , it’s a _condition_.” The person turned out to be Simon Lewis, nonchalantly correcting Jace’s statement.

“Seriously?” Jace glared at Simon.

“What? I’m just saying.” Simon innocently shrugged. “I just thought it was _necessary_ to provide my basic Biology education.”

“Simon might be right. Nephilims _are_ part mundanes. There’s a likelihood of it happening. I simply can’t think of other explanations more logical than this one.” Magnus’ eyes were filled with sorrow as he gazed at his fiancé.

“But _why_? Why now? Why _Alec_ for that matter?” Jace was restless. He became more fidgety as more certainties were unfolded.   

Alec hated how Jace’s question had made Magnus more distraught than before. He didn’t hate Jace for asking because everyone was indeed desperate for some answers. Knowing Magnus, he would never stop till he found out the truth. When Alec was bedridden due to the high fever, Magnus hadn’t stopped searching for an answer. He didn’t sleep well or eat properly either and Alec really, _really_ didn’t want Magnus to fall back to the routine when they had been doing quite okay in the past few days since his fever broke. 

“Who’s watching the boys?” Alec intentionally aimed his question at Simon, taking the opportunity to change the direction of the conversation. Before he left for hunting tonight, Simon had informed he and Magnus that he would drop by, stating that he missed his nephews. Alec knew that Simon was just bored being at home alone without Isabelle who had been traveling here and there to promote the New York Academy to the Shadow World. 

“They’re playing in their room. I have kept them occupied with multicolored lightsabers when I heard you portaled in. I gotta say, they do _love_ those lightsabers and I’m gonna let Rafael and Max keep them. Who else I’m gonna spoil rotten if not my own nephews, right?” Simon gushed with a huge grin.

“Right.” Alec gave a simple nod and slowly scooted to the edge of the bed.

“Going somewhere, dear?” Magnus who was sitting beside Alec appeared dumbfounded and so were the other occupants in the bedroom. 

“To see our sons.” Alec grumbled when Magnus hindered his movement. “I’m not gonna stay in bed doing nothing all night long and let my children play by themselves.” 

“Let me at least clean up the blood and heal you first?” Magnus prompted, waving his rings clad fingers. “I do believe our eldest won’t be happy if he saw the blood.” 

Alec immediately blushed because Magnus was right. Going to see the boys without making sure he was _presentable_ was a bad move. He gave Magnus a nod of approval and directly blue ethereal glow emerged from Magnus’ fingertips and danced in the air, slowly approaching the intended target of affection — Alexander Gideon Lightwood — who had rested his back against the headboard. Instead of seeping into Alec to fix any visible damage, the magic bounced back forcefully at Magnus. The force threw the High Warlock of Brooklyn to the wall with a loud thump. 

“What the—”

“Arghhh!!!” Alec suddenly screamed. It was deafening and absolutely painful to hear as he trashed on the bed with eyes closed. 

“What’s happening?!” Jace yelled to be heard above Alec’s agonizing scream. 

“Hold him!” Magnus ordered gravely and picked himself up from the floor. He was glad he had secured the bedroom with a soundproof effect or else his children would be barging inside by now. 

“We’re trying!” Jace shouted back. He and Simon were desperately trying to pin Alec down on the bed. Alec’s strength in his current state was remarkable as he almost succeeded fighting off a trained Shadowhunter and a vampire all on his own. 

Magnus attempted to push his magic into Alec once more and although he had prepared himself this time, he still staggered when his magic was catapulted back at him. His action was _rewarded_ with Alec’s fresh scream in return. It sounded more anguish than the previous one, bringing tears in the warlock’s eyes as he continued pushed, probed and prodded his magic into Alec to no avail.    

“Why doesn’t it work?!” Simon asked fearfully. His shaking hands were still on top of Alec’s body while Jace was trembling uncontrollably on the other side of the bed.  

With an expression filled with absolute fear, Magnus gasped. “A-Alexander’s body is rejecting my magic.”       

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My muses are depleting. Please help me enhance them with comments. It's getting difficult for me to write new chapters without any support. :( 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. I truly appreciate it. Comments, kudos, bookmarks, subscribes, etc. are always welcome. :)


	7. Committing a murder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd  
> Sorry for taking too long to finish writing this chapter. I need my muse back! :(

Simon Lewis was in shock. To say he was in shock was actually an understatement. At the moment, he didn’t know whether this was a reality or simply a dream. He couldn’t believe his own eyes. His didn’t _want_ to believe what he had seen. Ever since he became a vampire, he had a new profound insight about the world. It wasn’t as black and white as it seemed. When he was a mere human, the world was rather difficult but as a vampire, the world was bigger and was far more upsetting. When Raphael died, his own world crumbled into ashes and he didn’t think it would ever be okay for him again. But the supports he received from his family and friends had shown him otherwise.

One of the people who had helped him get back on his feet was Alec Lightwood. 

Simon was honestly astonished by Alec’s sincerity and he welcomed it with open heart. When he first met the Shadowhunter, Alec struck him as someone who was arrogant, rude, and downright cold. Alec was all but nice to him at first. Well, he wasn’t nice to anyone except for his siblings. But then after he got to know Alec individually, how selfless he actually was, how empathized he was to others especially those who were under his care at the Institute, and even toward the Downworlders, he finally understood Alec’s struggle both personally and professionally. Alec was in essence mettlesome. He had witnessed Alec, _the_ Alexander Lightwood in a battlefield multiple of times before and Alec was truly a terrific Shadowhunter, definitely one of the best.

Seeing Alec’s fragile form however, pale and unconscious on the bed was something inexplicable for Simon.

Alec had done so much for him and for once, Simon wanted to return the favor but he didn’t have a clue of what he had to do.

“Is Alec going to be okay?” Simon asked quietly. “Is he in pain?” 

“I don’t really know.” Magnus looked exhausted, slumped on the bed beside Alec who remained out cold. “I can only hope he’s free from any agony while he sleeps.”

“But your magic works, doesn’t it? You manage to fight off whatever resistant Alec’s body has created and he is resting right now so it must have been working.” Simon countered.

“The only magic I have put on Alexander that can pass through the barricade simply acts as sedative, a tranquilizer. Alexander by any means isn’t utterly healed.” Magnus responded, his tone heavy with unyielding emotions. “Alexander’s body is still rejecting the rest and my magic’s gonna wear off eventually, including the one currently accepted by his form.”

“Magnus…” Simon heaved a shaky breath. “Are you…are you saying that there’s nothing you can do to help Alec?”

“I said no such thing.” Magnus said in a stern tone, slightly offended by Simon’s question.

“Alec’s d-dying, isn’t he?” Jace stammered, sitting on the cold floor with his knees pushed toward his chest in some sort of protective stance. His face was hidden in the loop of his arms but his voice was loud and clear.

“N-No…t-that can’t be true.” Simon’s eyes were wide in denial. “There has to be a way to fix this, r-right?”

“If you thought I’m easily going to give up on saving Alexander, you clearly don’t know me, gentlemen.” Magnus glared at Simon and Jace. The vampire flinched but the Shadowhunter didn’t even see it, lost in his own thoughts. “I will stop at nothing until Alexander is perfectly okay again.”

“Alec!” A loud cry echoed inside the house as Isabelle Lightwood barged inside the spacious master bedroom and made a bee-line toward her brother who was prone on the bed.

“Good, you’re here.” Magnus was visibly _relieved_ by the arrival of Isabelle.

With only a few inches separating them, Isabelle threw a glare at the warlock from where she was sitting. “I’d have been here sooner if you’d open up a portal for me!”

Magnus took a deep breath. He had anticipated this kind of reaction since he had rejected Isabelle’s request through prior phone call. “I’d wholeheartedly portal you straightaway here, dear Isabelle, but my power is depleting. I need all the strength I have to help your brother. Creating a portal _and_ healing Alexander would be too much and I afraid I can’t do both at once.”    

Isabelle collapsed beside Alec, sobbing. “I’m sorry for lashing out at you. I’m just so worried.”

Placing a comforting hand on Isabelle’s shoulder, Magnus gave the younger woman a smile. “That’s quite alright, Isabelle.”

“Magnus, what-whatever you need me to do, just tell me…I’ll gladly do it. No question asks no matter how ridiculous or unpleasant the request might be. Demon’s blood? Faeries’ grace? You name it!” Isabelle uttered in conviction and confidence.

“Yeah, whatever you need. I wanna help too.” Clary who had arrived with Isabelle finally spoke. She was standing at the foot of the bed, near Simon.

“I’m flattered with your devotion but no need to get too extreme, ladies.” Despite experiencing an agonizing terror, anger and hopelessness turmoil deep in his gut, Magnus feigned normalcy. The Lightwood siblings appeared beyond upset and so did Clary Fairchild and Simon Lewis. If he lost his control right now, everything would smash to smithereens and they would be in a state of panic.

Thus, he had to stay strong for the sake of others.

Especially for Alexander and their children’s sake.

“My children…” Magnus went to Clary and reached her left hand. “They’re currently all by themselves. Could you…check on them for me, biscuit? Watch over them for a while? My sons had been left alone far too long. Rafael is bound to detect something is not right. I swear the boy has a sixth sense.”

“Stop it!” Jace out of the blue exploded. He stood up from the floor and dashing toward Magnus like a predator hunting down its prey. “Just stop it! How can you be so casual about this?! How can you act like nothing is wrong?! Stop being nonchalant! You didn’t do anything except for the sleeping spell! Do _something_ , Magnus! My parabatai is in pain! Your fiancé is _dying_!”   

“Jace!” Clary tightened hers and Magnus’ entwined fingers, showing her support to the warlock whilst rebuking her Shadowhunter boyfriend with a scowl. “Magnus is doing his best!”

“His _best_ is not enough!” Jace spat heatedly.

Clary wanted to say something in return but before she could do so, Magnus gently pulled her away from Jace. He looked so eerily calm, all professional but his expressive eyes betrayed his strong façade. Jace was too vexed to see it but she wasn’t. And right now, Magnus looked so vulnerable. She knew what that felt like, when your loved ones were suffering. She had fought tooth and nail to wake up her mom and she was certain Magnus would do the same for Alec. Magnus had admitted to everyone that Alec was the love of his life more than one occasion whenever they spent time together in a group, as a family. She had no doubt Magnus would move heaven and hell to cure Alec.  

“I’m going to check on the boys.” Clary said ultimately.

Clary let go of Magnus and stalked to the door, to another bedroom at the end of the hallway. Without saying a word to anyone, Simon voluntarily followed her, knowing there was nothing he could do to help Alec at the moment. He thought of Magnus and Alec’s children, just a room away from their father, clueless of what was happening. He might not have the idea or the power to help Alec but he knew he could occupy Rafael and Max at the time being, entertain the children as long as he could. Eventually the boys would get bored of him and Clary, and they would definitely search for their devoted fathers but right now, he would be there for the boys.

“Isabelle, Jace…” Magnus uttered slowly once the bedroom door was closed. “What I’m about to ask has never been done by any Shadowhunters except Alexander. It will not feel comfortable but I’ll absolutely try something else if it isn’t necessary—”

“Just tell us.” Isabelle was already nodding her head in agreement. “I’ll… _we’ll_ do it, whatever it is you need.”

“I need your strength. Both of your strength.” Magnus gawked at Jace as he spoke, indicating that he needed both the Lightwood siblings, not just Isabelle.

“You don’t have to ask.” Jace instantly held out his hand for Magnus to take.

Without further ado Magnus grasped Jace’s left hand in his. Isabelle in return gripped Jace’s right hand tightly and their little circle was completed when she clasped Magnus’ exposed arm with her free hand. Her brother Alec was safe in the middle, on the bed, protected by her, Jace, and Magnus. She could feel another tear was threatening to fall and it only made her feel worse when she gazed up at Magnus. The High Warlock of Brooklyn appeared vulnerable as he stared longingly at the love of his life. Never in her life had Isabelle thought she would witness the vulnerability side of Magnus Bane. She tightened her clutch on Magnus’ arm, letting him know that she was there not only for Alec, but for him too.

Magnus smiled brokenly at Isabelle, accepting her kind gesture but he wished Isabelle could be as cold as Jace. Not that he didn’t appreciate compassion, he did…but being threatened, being yelled at sharpened his mind, enhanced his ability to think better. Kindness would only swallow him up with unwanted feelings. He needed to focus. He couldn’t mess this up like before. He hoped what he was about to do wasn’t a lost cause. If he failed, it might be the end for Alexander. He was a four hundred years old warlock who sometimes made mistakes but failing right now was not an option. In his lifetime he had seen people he cared about, people he loved got old and eventually died. Some simply died younger due to injuries or diseases because they were mere mortals. He had tried to help all of them but in the end he had to accept the fact that fate and destiny couldn’t be meddled with no matter how powerful you were.

But none of his past lovers were Alexander. None of them had ever held the title as his _fiancé_ , let alone the title of the _father_ of his children.

Alexander was special.

Alexander was his _everything_.

Magnus Bane would never let Alec Lightwood slipped through his fingers without a fight.

Not even a powerful magic could stop him from saving the man he loved.

“You’ll sense a strong pull. Do _not_ fight it.” Magnus warned and took a deep breath.

Jace let out a gasp, eyes wide. He felt like something was _wrenching_ his insides, yanking them out of his body. Isabelle on the other hand was biting her lower lip hard as she attempted to allow the pain flew through her. Blue sparks began to form from Magnus’ fingers and it was the darkest shade of blue Jace had ever seen. The cobalt blue mist began to skimming along the prone body below them, seeking for entrance. It began to prod every inch of Alec’s skin and body and slowly, Magnus’ blue magic seeped through his fingers into Alec’s body.

“Magnus.” Isabelle was stunned. She could feel and _see_ the strong resistance with her own eyes. It was glowing _gold_ , contradictory to Magnus’ blue, and the golden unearthly radiance was enveloping Alec’s body like a blanket.

“What is that?!” Jace sizzled, glaring accusingly at Magnus.

“Someone has placed a ward on Alexander.” Magnus appeared haggard but he still fought against the resistance to push his magic into Alec. “It’s guarding Alexander from external threat.”

“My fingers are slipping!” Jace shouted angrily, desperately attempting to tighten his grip on Magnus.

“Me too!” Isabelle said weakly. The word snagged in her throat and only made it out into the air as a tiny, strangled little noise. Everyone could see she was petrified of losing control.

Magnus blinked, his eyes unfocused and posture rigid. His gazed fell on Alec. The golden radiance was expanding, getting bigger. The ward wasn’t only protecting Alec, it was retaliating as well. “The curse put upon Alexander is too powerful! Not even our combined strengths are enough to fight it!”  

Jace’s arms ached. “What should we do now?!”

Magnus was frantic. “You’re Alexander’s parabatai, and Isabelle is his flesh and blood…his sister. I need someone else who’s related to Alexander to share their strength!”

Isabelle began to tremble, her resolution was waning. “Your children! They’re Alec’s sons too!”

Magnus shook his head and gave her a sad smile. “Our children unfortunately are not blood related to Alexander.”

“What about Robert?” Jace exclaimed. “Or…or Maryse? We can—”

“M-Magnus…”

“Alexander!” Magnus gasped as he looked down to the bed and saw Alec clutching the fabric of his silk shirt like a lifeline. He was completely stunned to see his lover was awake. Alec _shouldn’t_ be awake. The magic he had used was a strong one. It was just _impossible_.

“Mag-Magnus…please, p-please stop.” Alec pleaded. His voice was extremely weak.

“I’m sorry, my love but I can’t.” Magnus made a teary-eyed confession. “Stopping is not an option.”

“It hurts…” Alec slurred. “It hurts so much…”

“Magnus…” Jace growled warningly. He tried to loosen the grasp he had on Magnus but it was futile as the High Warlock of Brooklyn firmly held his hand.    

“Do _not_ let go of my hands.” Magnus’ voice turned to steel. “Remember what happened to the memory demon all those years ago? I _need_ to do this. This is our only chance. We’d be too weary to try it again.”

“Hold on, big brother…it’ll be over soon.” Isabelle sobbed, affectionately kissing Alec’s sweaty forehead.

Without saying another word to anyone, Magnus proceeded with his effort. He tugged Jace and Isabelle’s fortes as much as he could and surged it all out toward Alec, combating against the golden glow sheathing his fiancé with all of his might. Alec instantly writhed on the bed, screaming the moment Magnus’ blue burn seeped into him. Although it hurt them too, Magnus, Jace, and Isabelle didn’t stop. They shut their eyes, in an attempt to block Alec’s pitiful cry. It was fruitless as they still could hear every gasp, every breathless inhale, and every broken scream came out of Alec. Alec was glowing gold, brighter than before. The blue and golden hues encasing Alec appeared like an abstract painting.  

An augury hit Magnus all of a sudden, causing him to break the bond with both Isabelle and Jace. He collapsed onto the floor, shaken. His facial expression was written with horror and dread. His usual tanned skin promptly paled, alarming the Shadowhunters present in the bedroom.

“Magnus?” Isabelle’s anxious voice was the first thing he heard.

“It can’t be. It can’t be true. It can’t be. It’s not possible.” Magnus chanted repeatedly.

“What did you find?” Jace who was still near the bed asked. His tone wasn’t as indifferent as before.

Utterly stunned and with no idea at all what to say, Magnus pushed himself off the floor and made his way to the bed. His hazel eyed Shadowhunter was conscious, lying on Isabelle’s thighs as she caressed his hair but there was no more golden glow surrounding him. Alec was still sweating and panting for much needed air after the deed Magnus had done.    

“Alexander…” Magnus embraced Alec securely, burying his face into the crook of his lover’s neck. Alec in return immediately wrapped an arm around Magnus despite the state he was in. He knew Magnus needed comfort and assurances from him.

Taking that as a cue, Isabelle got up from the bed to give her brother and Magnus some space. She stood beside Jace and firmly grasping his wrist to stop him from asking anything at the moment. “They need time.”

Jace being Jace, just glowered at her in disagreement. “I’m tired of waiting.”

“Jace…” Isabelle sighed.

“So, are you going to tell us what you have discovered, Magnus?” Jace sounded much less flippant but still uncouth nonetheless. “Or should we wait and find out on our own? We’ve given you our strengths, I demand an answer.”

“I need to speak with my fiancé in private.” Magnus was tense, although he continued to be civil.

“You must be joking, right?” Jace huffed and bit back the angry words he wanted to say.

“I’ll come to the living room and tell you everything I know later.” Magnus’ face darkened at Jace’s words. “But right now, Alexander and I need a moment alone.”

“Jace…” Alec said softly, attentively pleading to his brother.

“Alec, seriously?” Jace was clearly unhappy.

“Come on, Jace.” Isabelle straightaway dragged the reluctant Jace out of the room with her.

With the last scowl directing at Jace, Magnus exhaled heavily when the bedroom door was finally closed. What he had discovered was worse than he thought. Despite not wanting to burden Alec, his fiancé deserved to know. He braced himself to talk about it, but Alec spoke first. “You have figured out what is wrong with me, haven’t you?”

Magnus was quiet for a long minute and when he did speak, his voice was barely a whisper. “Alexander…”    

Alec snuggled a little closer. “What’s wrong with me, Magnus?”

Magnus shifted, so he could lean his head against the warm, comfortable bulk of Alec’s shoulder. “You’ve been cursed, Alexander. Someone evil has put a malicious spell on you.”

“Cursed? What kind of curse?” Alec edged around the question.

“The curse…it has the aptitude to change anything the possessor’s desire, no matter how preposterous it is. What seems impossible isn’t actually the unthinkable when it comes to magic.” Magnus stood, looked up straight at Alec. He took Alec’s right hand, threaded his fingers through the Shadowhunter’s stiff fingers. “Gender-wise, it shouldn’t be happening to you or any males in the world. It’s out of the norm.”

“What are you saying?” Alec tossed it out, and his hazel eyes swung back over at Magnus.  

“Honey, you’re pregnant. Or what seems to be it.” Magnus finally said, decided to rip off the Band-Aid.

“I what?” Alec gave Magnus an odd look.

“I detected strong heartbeats when I tried to heal you.” Magnus clarified, his eyes never left Alec’s face. “The heartbeats weren’t yours. They were far too fast which could only be made by fetuses.”

“I’m not sick, I’m just… _pregnant_?” Alec’s eyes widened a little at what Magnus was implying. “Why would someone want me pregnant? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“You don’t have to worry too much about it, Alexander. Now that I know what we’re dealing with, I’ll instantaneously find a way to get rid of it.” Magnus said with a smile. He was relieved Alec seemed okay and that he didn’t freak out too much when he heard the dreading news.  

“Get rid of what?”

“Whatever thing inside of you, of course.” Magnus’ words were bare and unconverted on the air, without any hesitation at all.   

“What? No, you can’t do that, Magnus.” Alec condemned straightaway.

“We don’t know what is exactly inside of you. I can’t let you go through with it.”

Alec’s head was spinning. “You’re talking about committing a _murder_ , Magnus! I won’t kill an innocent life! Especially not a baby!”

There was a cold, heavy sensation growing in Magnus’ chest as he tried to process the exact implication of the explanation “It’s not a baby, it’s a parasite!”

Alec’s lips pursed together tightly. “How can you be so sure it’s a _parasite_ , huh? You said it yourself — those strong heartbeats could only come from babies.”  

“Continuing with this pregnancy could be lethal, Alexander.” Magnus uttered slowly, but hastening to continue at the devastated expression on Alec’s face. “I won’t let you sacrifice yourself for a lost cause.”

“It’s _my_ body, Magnus. It’s _my_ decision.” Alec replied with confidence.

“Alec!” Magnus’ angry voice boomed piercingly inside the quiet bedroom.

Alec flinched but his expression remained nonchalant. “I’m sorry we don’t see eye to eye on this, Magnus. I just can’t do it. I just can’t.”

“ _Kau tahu betapa ku sayang padamu? (Do you know how much I love you?) Hanya bidadari sebagai ganti (Only an angel can replace you)._ ” Magnus recited one of Alec’s favorite Malay songs with a trembling voice and cupping his lover’s face with equally trembling hands.

Alec leaned into Magnus’ strong hands. He did look a tad fearful but the courage in his eyes overpowered everything else. “I love you too, Magnus, more than you know. But I’m not going to change my mind. My decision is final.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is called _Belaian Jiwa_ by Innuendo. It’s my all-time favorite! Try listen to it to capture the bittersweet emotion of this chapter. :’)
> 
> Please help me revive my waning muses with your comments. Please, please, please let me know what you think of it. :D
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. I truly appreciate it. Comments, kudos, bookmarks, subscribes, etc. are always welcome. :)


	8. Just for fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.   
> Thanks for all the comments! xoxo

Humiliation had become a part of Alexander Gideon Lightwood’s life. As a child, he was small. Everyone else around his age towered over him and although he hadn’t been bullied by the others, they always thought he was fragile — a piece of glass that would _shatter_ beyond repair if it was dropped. Thus, he wasn’t always chosen to play with. He had told his parents about it and the answer he got from his father was that he was born early than expected and that he was simply small as a newborn too. He wasn’t satisfied with the answer but he was dismissed by both of them when he wanted to know more because they were simply too busy for him. Nevertheless he still had his younger siblings thus the pain was kind of bearable.

As a teenager, he had hoped the situation would change but to Alec’s dismay, it didn’t. He wasn’t the small kid anymore. In fact, he had grown very, very tall. He had become the tallest of them all. He had exceeded everyone in term of heights including his tutors and trainers. However, he was too thin. He was the lanky Lightwood kid. Being shy didn’t help his wellbeing either. He was the contradictory of his younger siblings, Isabelle and Jace. Isabelle was always known to be the flamboyant, happy-go-lucky kind while Jace was famous for his good looks and for being athletic. While him — Alec Lightwood — was notorious as the introverted, weird one. Although he was the only one who noticed it, he was pretty sure other than Hodge Starkweather, the tutors and trainers hated his and his siblings’ guts. Sure, the other young Shadowhunters adored Jace and Izzy but the more senior ones obviously didn’t.

Only a few years ago Alec had found out the reason _why_ after Lydia Branwell had a major slipped up regarding his parents’ involvement with the Circle. 

And now said Lydia Branwell was currently having a deep conversation with his fiancé Magnus Bane which didn’t sit well with him.

“So, are we going to do this or not?” Alec huffed, exasperatingly scanning the entire bedroom but his eyes lingered on Magnus a few seconds longer.

“Patience, Alexander.” Magnus’ reply was kind and soft but it felt distant and detached to Alec’s ears.

“Are you okay, buddy?” Jace stepped closer and squeezed Alec’s shoulder.

“I just want to get this over with.” Alec grumbled, eyeing the equipment with dread.    

Lying in bed, shirtless and surrounded by people even though they were familiar faces was in truth uncomfortable _and_ humiliating. Four out of five of them had seen him shirtless before — Lydia had seen him once when he wanted to track Jace with their parabatai bond, Robert when he was younger and still needed his father’s help, Jace on various of occasions while growing up, and Magnus had seen him shirtless and so much more _all the time_ — but he still felt uncomfortable being ogled at like a valuable price. There was also one person in the house at the moment was a stranger, an outsider but according to Magnus and Lydia, the person’s presence was necessary.

“It will be over soon. The procedure is totally harmless.” Robert assured, standing next to Jace.

“Where’s…mom?” There was a tinge of hope in Alec’s voice.

“She’s—” Robert started.

“She doesn’t even bother, does she?” Jace barged in, scoffing in annoyance. “All she cares about is her reputation. She doesn’t care about her children anymore now that we’ve _tarnished_ her name.”     

It had been a long time since either Alec or Jace last saw their mother. Although their parents were no longer together, Robert was the closest to Maryse compared to anyone else in their family even after their divorce since both of them were currently living in Idris while their children remained in New York. Maryse was never fond of Jace and Clary as a couple. Isabelle and Simon’s romance had only made things worse. And even after all these years Maryse Lightwood still didn’t accept Alec’s relationship with Magnus. She simply refused to give her consent. Max was already three and Maryse had only seen her grandchild once in that time.

As for Rafael, he hadn’t even met his grandmother, not even once. 

Despite everything, Alec admitted he missed his mother. They were close when he was an only child. His mother had been devoted to him, loving him. But everything had changed now and Alec had to live with the fact that his own mother was not a part of his life anymore.       

“We’re all set.” The mundane dressed in all white suddenly spoke, disturbing the Lightwood family moment. “May I start?”

“Yes, you may. Do what you have to do, Ariff.” Magnus slickly gave his permission. He noticed how the absence of Maryse had affected Alec so they had to start as soon as possible.

“Hold up.” Jace swiftly interrupted. He eyed Magnus and the mundane suspiciously. “This is _absolutely_ necessary, right? Because Alec seems like he’s ready to pass out and I don’t wanna cause my parabatai any harm.”

“We mundanes do this all the time, Shadowhunter.” The mundane said without any hint of fear in his voice. “I’m a certified doctor and this is what I do for a living. We don’t have warlocks to help us checking on every pregnant woman to ensure their pregnancy is going well. We have _this_.”

“Jace, I assure you Dr. Ariff here is legit. He’s an expert.” Lydia uttered calmly. “Magnus and I had known him for years and he had helped the Clave and the Shadow World multiple times already.” 

“But _why_ do we have to do this?” Jace hissed, glowering at Magnus instead of Lydia even though she was the one who answered. “ _You’re_ a warlock and _you’re_ the one who came up with the news — despite how ridiculous it sounds — that Alec is pregnant.”

“Magnus has his…doubts. He thinks I’m carrying a parasite, Lilith’s offspring, abomination…you name it.” Alec glanced at Magnus who was standing the farthest away from him. After their conversation earlier that week, he and Magnus weren’t in good place. Both of them wanted different _solutions_ and both of them were adamant about it. “And this is his way to prove that he’s right.”

“And doing an ultrasound will prove it?” Jace was skeptical.  

“This mundane equipment will show us whether the thing inside Alec is truly a baby or something else.” Robert offered his words of wisdom.

“Yes, that’s correct, Mr. Lightwood. We can see if there are any _abnormalities_.” Ariff muttered carefully.

Alec shifted on the bed, expression icy. “You mean you wanna see if the baby has horns or wings—”

Jace put on his skeptical face once more. “ _So what_ if the baby has horns and wings?” 

“Then the pregnancy shall not continue. Alexander has to get rid of it.” Magnus’ words held no emotion.

“Really, Magnus?” Jace gritted his teeth. “And here I thought we’re done loathing the Downworlders.”

“Having that kind of _traits_ shows that the thing is _demonic_. What is the purpose of keeping it when we know eventually it’ll only cause chaos and destruction?” Magnus fixed his eyes on Jace.

Alec appeared hurt by Magnus’ ruthless statement. “Does that mean our Max is demonic too?”

Magnus felt guilty but he remained quiet. Lydia fidgeted beside the warlock and Robert was deep in his thought. The eldest Lightwood was overcome with worry. Magnus’ reluctance to let Alec carry on with the alleged pregnancy had brought uneasiness in him. Just the fact that Alec was cursed and pregnant truly concerned him. If Alec was indeed pregnant and he was carrying something evil, Robert would most likely side with Magnus, that the pregnancy couldn’t be continued. He couldn’t let _demons_ to be born into this world particularly through some sick kind of magic.

_Especially_ when his first-born was the one who had to bear it.    

Seeing Alec’s hurt expression made Jace’s blood boiled. Robert and Lydia’s lack of _involvement_ made his rage doubled. “The way I see it, Magnus…if the baby does have clawed hands or antlers or even _fangs_ , he or she definitely gets them from _you_. You’re part demon after all — the son of the Prince of Hell.”

Magnus’ whole body was shaking violently as he tried to control his anger. Jace’s sharp sarcasm was getting on his nerves. He wanted to retaliate but he didn’t miss the way the blonde Shadowhunter winced as he protectively came closer to Alec. Magnus could see the agony in Jace’s eyes, how he was without doubt felt Alec’s pain. The thought that his fiancé was still suffering even after he had eased the agony with magic was the exact opposite of assuring.

Magnus knew. He _knew_ why Jace was here, why he kept strike back against him. He knew that Alec wanted his parabatai’s support because the gold eyed Shadowhunter would always back him up no matter what. Magnus wasn't angry, he _was_ earlier but everything he had done was to protect Alexander. Terminating the pregnancy was the best option but Alec kept on reprimanding him on it and he didn't know _how_ to get Alec to quit shutting him out. He needed Alec to concur with him, not _against_ him.

If only Alec could see it from his point of view.

Magnus wasn’t mad at Alec or even Jace to be honest. He was furious at whoever did this to his fiancé. Pregnant? Making Alec pregnant? Who was crazy and sick enough to cast such spell? And what was their motive? Was it to humiliate the Lightwoods? Was it to see how far Alec Lightwood would go? Were the culprits experimenting? Whatever their reasons were, they had gone too far. When he found the person who did this, he or she would _beg_ for death. They would wish they had _never_ been born. They would wish they weren’t as _creative_ as they were.

 They should know better than to mess up with the Lightwoods…let alone the Lightwood-Banes.

Because Magnus Bane was the High Warlock of Brooklyn.

And he had never and would never let his enemies got away unscathed.

“Alexander…” Magnus searched for something to say, gawking at Alec. The Shadowhunter’s eyes were distant, his expression almost vacant. “Believe me when I say I’m not doing this out of spite. And I’m not doing this to prove I’m right, far less to win. The last thing I want is to hurt you but in order to protect you, I unintentionally had hurt you. I won’t…I won’t force you anymore, Alexander. I’m just so tired of us being hostile to one another.”

Magnus knew he had Alec’s attention when his fiancé looked up, staring at him. “I love Max. I love him so much, Alexander, don’t ever doubt that. Our son is part demon but there is none in his fiber is infernal. No matter who he is, where he comes from, or who his biological parents are, our Max is treasured, is nurtured with our love. My childhood would be so much better if I was dearly loved like our little Blueberry.”

Magnus started to tremble. He was overwhelmed. His desire to ensure that Alec was safe was choking him. He loved Alexander too much to see him suffer. “But you have to understand, Alexander. Asmodeus raped my mother…I was the product of rape. The same thing might have happened to Max’s mother. The nature Max and I were born in, it wasn’t anything like this. This pregnancy of yours is unnatural. Magic or not, _nothing_ about this is natural. You’re a man and men don’t pregnant. I’m a warlock who always has and will always be sterile. This is black magic, Alexander. That thing, that _baby_ …I can sense its power. With abilities like that, power so strong, it has to be a demon…or something so much worse.”

“Son…” Robert said, placing a warm, comforting hand on Alec’s bare shoulder. “I’m not choosing side but Magnus is right. A rogue warlock won’t cast an evil spell like this on you just for fun. They have the intention to make you suffer.”

“I-I…” Alec swallowed, feeling his heart jump in his chest. His exhausted brain was having a hard time to pull things together.

“You might be wrong, you know.” Jace sounded accusing but the fear in his voice was evident. “You might be wrong and we could be killing an innocent life.”

“But Magnus is most likely right.” Lydia interjected, biting her lip. “The state Alec’s in throughout the pregnancy by far is alarming. The high fever, internal bleeding…I’m afraid as the pregnancy progress, worse symptoms could arise. No ordinary mundane or Shadowhunters babies have ever done such things to their moth— to…to their carriers.”

“I know the risk I’m taking.” Alec suddenly got up from the bed, his voice uncompromising and his expression was cold. But his movement was swift, as if he was absolutely fine, as if he wasn’t in pain but he couldn’t fool anyone, especially his fiancé Magnus Bane, and his parabatai Jace. “But I’m going to do it nonetheless.”

“Alexander…” Magnus was pleading. He didn’t care if he sounded pathetic anymore.

“I’m going to do what’s right, Magnus. What _I_ believe in. I don’t expect any of you to understand, but the least you can do is respect my decision.” The words come out of Alec’s mouth were brittle.

Magnus immediately approached Alec and reached out to stroke his pale face. “I love you so much, Alexander. I’m done fighting with you but I’m never done trying to save you.”

And then he was gone, leaving Alec and the others inside the house flabbergasted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, which side are you on? Team Alec or Team Magnus? Should Alec continue with the pregnancy or not? What about the baby? Is it really a baby or something else? :) 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. I truly appreciate it. Comments, kudos, bookmarks, subscribes, etc. are always welcome. :)


	9. Burn to ashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.

Two days. Magnus Bane hadn’t come home for two days since the unprompted family ‘meeting’ with the Lightwoods. He wasn’t running away from his problems, he was not a coward but he _needed_ to be alone. His mind was like in a cobweb, trying to trap him inside forever but he couldn’t surrender. He _would not_ surrender until he found a way to safe his beloved. Alexander had made up his mind and he knew nobody could change it now, not even him. He did respect Alec’s decision…he truly _did_ but to accept it with an open heart? To pretend that everything was okay? He still couldn’t and he wouldn’t lie to himself or anyone else about it either.

Magnus Bane was a lot of things but he wasn’t a _liar_.

All of his and Alec’s fights, their arguments were fresh on his mind. Both he and Alec’s physical strength were remarkable. Alec could do wonder with his Angel blood and he himself was magnificent with magic. They both could crush their enemies like they were just ants. But when he and Alec quarrel, when they said out loud what were on their minds, the results were far more brutal than any mission he had been a part of. The saying that words cut deeper than knives was absolutely true because it truly hurt.

Despite wanting to be alone for a while, Magnus couldn’t stay away from his family any longer. By the evening of the second day he had started missing his boys at home. Rafael’s soft voice and Max’s lovely laughter began haunting him throughout the day. He could hear them anywhere and everywhere and he knew it was time to go home before he completely lost his sanity.

It was time to come back to his family.

To his sons.

To Alec.

“I need a giant chocolate rabbit, a treat tower gummy and two lollipop bouquets.” Magnus swiftly told the person behind the counter as he gracefully waltzed inside the candy shop. He didn’t even need to look around since he knew by heart his sons’ favorite desserts. The girl was startled by his sudden presence but she quickly proceeded with his request.

“Ah, it’s good to be back.” Magnus leaned against the counter as he watched the other customers trying to tame their children. Gosh, he missed Rafael and Max so much. His sons were as energetic as any other children in a candy shop like this.    

“It’s good to see you around as well.” A woman dressed in navy blue was suddenly by Magnus’ side. She was gazing disinterestedly at the crowd but she appeared ready to _gobble_ Magnus right there and then. “You’re a hard man to track, Magnus Bane.”

“Camille.” Magnus spat the name in disdain.

“The one and only.” Camille said cheerfully. “So… _where_ were you? I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

“Why are you here?” Magnus’ mood had turned sour. He looked around, wishing the girl — the one who was behind the counter — would be faster getting his order done. He couldn’t stand being there any longer now that Camille was around. “Wanting to add a little bit of sugar in your rotten, bitter life, dear?”

“That’s cute.” Camille let out a soft, dark chuckle. “Anyway, I’m here to check up on you. I hope you and your family is doing well.”

Magnus snorted. “Duplicity suits you well.”

Camille quirked an eyebrow. “You don’t believe me?”

Magnus sneered at Camille. “Not even a word. And may I say…you’re a snake. I’ve stop believing everything you said a long, long time ago.”

Camille tilted her head, considering with a grin. “You once treasured everything I say. Perhaps it’s time for you to start believing me again. Who knows what the future holds. Like it or not…I _know_ you, Magnus. I know how you think, how you love. I had been your girlfriend after all.” 

That earned Magnus to laugh. His head was thrown back in genuine mirth. “Fair enough. I should say I know _what_ you are too. So what is it this time? What are you trying to achieve by talking to me? To reminisce our past?”

“I just want a friendly chat, Magnus…nothing more.” Camille gave Magnus a big smile which the warlock knew was one hundred percent fake. “Where have you been the past couple of days? I heard you were away. I supposed you were taking the family for a quick holiday?”

“Sure.” Magnus merely responded. He had no interest whatsoever to start a conversation with Camille.

“Where to, lover?” Despite Magnus’ lack of reply, Camille was persistent. On top of that, she was grinning widely and brightly. “Did you take them to one of our favorite getaways? London, maybe? Or Athens? Or was it Venice? You always love the city, don’t you, Magnus?”

“You might wanna reconsider your holiday destination next time.” Camille eloquently continued when Magnus didn’t say anything. She was resolute to carry out the conversation. “Venice, London…those cities are for lovers. You, as a father of _three_ might wanna take your boys to places where children could enjoy themselves. Disneyland is definitely the best choice. The carousel would be suitable and enjoyable for Max and Rafael. However, your eldest, _Alexander_ would _love_ the roller coaster, don’t you think? He’s such an adrenaline junkie.”

“You don’t say. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” Magnus glanced at Camille for a second and then feigned a chuckle.

The age difference was one of the challenges in Magnus and Alec’s relationship — other than the mortality and immortality thing — and by the look of it, Camille discerned that too. Magnus knew very well that the vampire was attempting to provoke him. She was trying to make him angry by calling Alec a _child_ , even went as far as calling him Magnus’ spawn. But he would not yield to Camille’s manipulation. If she thought he was young and naïve like Alexander had once been, she was totally wrong. Camille wanted something from him. He was positive she got something up her sleeve and by making him cross, she thought she’d get whatever that she wanted.

“Good.” Camille gave Magnus a bitter slight smile which made Magnus smirk winningly.

“Perhaps _you_ should take your offspring there.” Magnus said, inspecting his nails coolly. “But I sure hope you won’t lose any of your children since you have _thousands_ of them, they ought to get lost.”

“You remember our late night stroll when we were in Amsterdam?” Camille seemed to dismiss Magnus’ rude comment as she leaned in closer to Magnus. Her tone was seductive while her hand was placed possessively on Magnus’ bicep, making the warlock’s brows rose. He involuntarily licked his lip. “We would walk, and then had a romantic dinner together, and later we would go back to the hotel and make _passionate_ love all night long.”

“Ah, yes…I do remember.” Magnus mused with a curl of his lips. Those days in Amsterdam was filled with love and magic. It was such a perfect memory. “Amsterdam is beautiful at night.”

“I agree.” Camille grinned triumphantly. Her plan succeeded. She got Magnus wrapped around her fingers once again.

“We should go again.” Magnus bent down to whisper directly into Camille’s ear as if it was a secret. “We should do all the things we used to do all over again.”  

“Are you serious?” Camille smiled, tucking her nose against the nape of Magnus’ neck and inhaling deeply.

“Uh-huh.” Magnus nodded. “But this time we’ll take a stroll during the day, _midafternoon_ so that you’ll burn to ashes in seconds and will no longer be the bloodsucker in my life for eternity, dear.”

Camille pushed Magnus away immediately. Her vampire strength left him breathless but only for a second. Her cold stare was burning into him. “You played me.”  

Magnus returned the glare with a smug grin. “I simply felt obliged after all the information you had shared. You can take your Amsterdam memory with you. It was all yours to keep. I don’t want it nor need it. You know where did I take Alexander for a holiday, Camille? _All over the world_. Paris, Barcelona, Stockholm, Berlin, Mumbai, Langkawi, Bali…you name it. I took him _everywhere_.”

Magnus let out a breathy chuckle when a bunch of thrilled recalls circling his mind. “Not only Alexander and I had made sweet, passionate love, we fucked like rabbits too. And I can positively said that the hotels’ other occupants were quite _traumatized_ with us because our love-makings were indeed _glorious_. We sure did get _a lot_ of complaints. Alexander blushed prettily hearing them.”  

Magnus gawped at the furious looking Camille. His arms were across his chest, a gesture he usually did to show that he meant business and he let out a relieved breath when the girl from earlier approached him with his purchases. It meant that this hellish situation with Camille would be over soon. “Let’s cut to the chase. What do you _really_ want? Why are you here? Your mind manipulation won’t work on me, Ms. Belcourt.”

Camille barely gave the girl her attention when Magnus received his boxes of sweets. Her blood boiled even more when the warlock was all smiling as he paid for his orders. She would _love_ to rid the smile from his face once and for all. “You know what, Magnus? Enjoy your so-called happy life while it lasts.”

Magnus securely held the treats for his boys at home and headed to the entrance. “Goodbye, Camille.”

“Goodbye is not always the end, Magnus.”

“Oh, this time…it _is_.”  

“I wonder though…how does little Maxwell react to the new addition of the family? Alec is what…three, four months pregnant now?” Camille said casually but her words had made Magnus freeze at the entrance. He was just a step away to leave the shop and Camille for good. Her eyes were glistening with delight at how pale Magnus had become.

“H-How?” Magnus was speechless.  

“How did I know about your precious Alexander? I know _everything_ , Magnus.” Camille purred, approaching Magnus like a snake. She stepped outside into the cold night and she beamed happily when Magnus followed her. “I really hope Max loves being a big brother because if not, that’ll cause a huge problem. Siblings’ rivalry can be _deadly_.”

“How’s Alec’s pregnancy so far, hmm?” Camille trailed her fingers along Magnus’ arm as she circled him like a predator. “Has he begun to suffer yet?” 

Magnus flinched. His face paled in horror as he stepped away from Camille. “It’s you. You did this to Alexander.”

Camille looked at Magnus’ distraught condition and her joy promptly tripled. _This_ was what she was eager to see — Magnus Bane’s _destruction_. “Of course it’s me, lover.”

Magnus visibly gasped. His hands were starting to tremble. The things he was holding wobbled dangerously. “Why? Why, Camille? What have I ever done to you?”

Camille simply shrugged, impassive. “You hurt me. Let’s just say this is my…retribution.”

“ _You_ left me.” Magnus’ expression hardened. “I was faithful and you weren’t.”

“But I did come back, didn’t I?” Camille glowered. “I wanted you back but you chose _him_ over me!”

“Punish me then! Alexander has nothing to do with us!”

“Oh, I _am_ punishing you, Magnus. Don’t you see? Nothing hurts you more than when your loved ones are hurting.” Camille scorned. “Would you prefer I leash my anger toward your children instead of Alec?”

“You’re sick, Camille!” Magnus was breathing hard.

Camille would always be the shadow in Magnus’ life, following him around endlessly. She was the one who left him before, she was the one who played with his heart and now she said it was his fault? Didn’t she get the memo that he was happy with his life now? Alexander and their children completed him. Camille was no more than a fling and unrequited love.

Yes, Magnus was devastated when Camille cheated on him because he loved her before but not anymore.

Alexander was his true love.      

“You love it.” Camille chortled blissfully. “Hey, I did give you a chance to redeem yourself but you played me. And your precious Alexander is beyond saved right now because I _won’t_ help you. Why should I be generous when you obviously don’t appreciate it?”

“I will _end_ you, Camille.”

Camille threw her head back, laughing joyously. “We both know you don’t have the guts to kill me. Look at this in a positive way! Come on, lover…be happy! Your dream to have your own biological child is coming true! Consider this an engagement _gift_ from me.”

Magnus gritted his teeth. “I don’t give a rat’s ass about your gift! Rescind the parasitic abomination you’ve created inside Alec _now_!”  

Camille smirked evilly. She eyed Magnus with delight. “Don’t be stupid, Magnus. You as the High Warlock of Brooklyn ought to know this. Even the greatest magic can’t create life. This is all _your_ doings. I simply hired a willing warlock to _alter_ Alec’s insides, and yours actually so that you’re no longer sterile and that Alec can get pregnant like a bitch he’s truly is. I’m so glad Alec had bottomed for you or else the spell won’t work.”

Magnus paled. Even though he despised Camille, she was right. Magic couldn’t create life nor could it bring back the dead. Those were the ultimate limits of magic. Alexander was really pregnant. It was a life created by both him and Alec. It wasn’t a parasite or an abomination created by dark magic at all. 

This was in point of fact was his fault. His action had lead Camille to do this. Camille wanted to see him to suffer.

And Alec had to pay the price.

“Congratulations, Magnus. Your greatest and most secreted dream will at last come true. You’ll finally have your flesh and blood but you’ll also lose your darling Alec…because you simply can’t have both. That would be unfair.” Camille winked.

Magnus abruptly dropped the boxes in his clutch, his fingertips sparkled with dark blue mist and without further ado he blasted his magic toward the smirking Camille. She didn’t deserve to live after what she had done to his family, to Alexander. He had avowed he would _destroy_ anyone who had caused the curse and he would fulfill his promise. He didn’t care he had once loved Camille.

She was now his sworn enemy when she decided to hurt his family.

“Better luck next time.” Camille’s laughter sounded so far away but it was far too loud in Magnus’ ears.   

Magnus breathed harshly, gaping at the ruined lamp post where Camille had been just seconds ago in remorse. His heart clenched painfully knowing he had missed his opportunity to annihilate the vampire bitch. Because of his failure, she was free to hurt his family even more.

Walking further ahead to an alley away from watchful eyes of the mundane, Magnus swiftly created a portal. He didn’t have the strength anymore. He needed to see his family pronto. His fiancé and his sons were his support system. Camille’s revelation had left him weary to the core. The purple shards of the portal glimmered and Magnus stepped through it. In seconds he was brought back to his living room. The first thing he saw was Jace slumped on the couch watching the television. Isabelle was on the other couch, focusing on the TV as well. The living room was scattered with his children’s toys but they were nowhere to be seen, and neither was Alec.

“They’re in the bedroom.” Isabelle said kindly, giving Magnus a small smile. Jace on the other hand paid Magnus no attention at all. Alec’s parabatai was obviously mad at the warlock.  

Magnus nodded in gratitude and went straight to the master bedroom. All three of his beloved were situated on the bed. Rafael was sprawled beside Alec, fast asleep. Max was also asleep. Half of his tiny body was on top of his Daddy while the other half was splayed on the bed. Alec however, was wide awake.

“Alexander…” Magnus’ voice wavered as he walked toward his family.

“You’re home.” Alec was smiling but there was a trace of tears in his eyes. “We miss you. _I_ miss you.”

“I’m sorry, Alexander.” Magnus sat on the edge of the bed. He grasped Alec’s free hand in his, holding it tightly.

“Hey…it’s okay. I’m fine.” Alec offered a smile. He tugged Magnus’ hand to persuade him to come closer. Their boys didn’t inhabit that much spaces of the bed after all. “I get it why you left. You needed some time alone to think. I truly understand, Magnus.”

“Camille was behind this.” Magnus muttered quietly, unable to look at his fiancé as he shed his tears. “She came to me and admitted everything. I’m so sorry, Alexander.”

“Camille?”

“She did it out of pure jealousy.” Magnus heaved a deep breath. He couldn’t believe Camille was this spiteful. “She couldn’t stand seeing us happy so she asked a warlock to put a curse on both of us. She wanted to hurt me so she targeted you. I’m sorry you’re suffering because of me, Alexander.”

“Don’t blame yourself.” Alec squeezed Magnus’ hand. “None of this is your fault.”

“But it _is_. The life inside of you…it’s— it’s a _baby_ , Alexander.” Magnus spoke up shakily, gazing at Alec at last. “The baby is truly our child. It’s not a demon, or a parasite. Magic had caused this to happen but we…we created the baby. I’m a warlock who isn’t sterile and you’re a man who can get pregnant. Camille…she’s—”

“I’m three months along.” Alec chose to interrupt Magnus before he rambled and blamed himself even more. “The ultrasound didn’t detect anything unusual and Dr. Ariff said that the baby is healthy. My physique is more than enough to provide for the child’s growth. I guess something good has come out of this, huh? Camille surely doesn’t expect that.”

Magnus swallowed the lump in his throat. Alec was genuinely smiling and happy and Magnus really wished he could feel the same, had the same reaction as Alec but he couldn’t. He couldn’t find it in him to be blissful just like any other soon-to-be father even now that it was confirmed the baby was his and Alec’s, not some weird incarnation. He couldn’t shake Camille’s words off. Because according to her, she would make sure Alec would not survive the pregnancy.

Magnus would gain a daughter or another son but he would lose his fiancé. If Alec was the price he had to pay, he didn’t want the pregnancy to continue but if Alec wouldn’t listen before, what would make him listen now?  

Alec wouldn’t ever be that selfish and Magnus’ heart ached.

“Sing for me, Magnus?” Alec said after a long silence between them. Everything was undeniably hard for them to chew but he was optimistic they would make it through. In time, Magnus would accept the pregnancy like he did. “I barely sleep without you around. I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too, Alexander. All of you.” Magnus carefully lifted Rafael into his arms before placing the boy on top of him as he sat against the headboard next to Alec. Once he was settled, Alec snuggled closer and laid his head on Magnus’ chest.

“ _Beribu bintang di langit kini menghilang, meraba aku dalam kelam (Thousands of stars in the sky are fading, in the darkness I’m losing my way). Rembulan mengambang kini makin suram, pudar ilhamku tanpa arah (The full moon is no longer bright, without my muse I’m drifting)._ ” Magnus sang softly, affectionately caressing Alec’s hair.

“ _Sedetik wajahmu muncul dalam diam, ada kerdipan ada sinar (The moment your face appear in my mind, there’s a spark and there’s a glow). Itukah bintang ataupun rembulan? Terima kasihku ucapkan (Is that a star or a moon? All I wanna say is thank you)._ ” Magnus planted a gentle kiss on top of Alec’s head as his fiancé drifted to sleep.    

“ _Izinkanku mencuri bayangan wajahmu (Allow me to think of you). Izinkanku mencuri khayalan denganmu (Allow me to dream with you)._ ” Magnus continued singing although there wasn’t anyone to hear him. “ _Maafkanlah ooh ooh…andai lagu ini mengganggu ruangan hidupmu (Oh forgive me if this song intruding the serenity of your life). Kau senyumlah ooh ooh…sekadar memori kita di arena ini (Oh let me see you smile as a memory of us in this arena)._ ”

“ _Kau ilhamku (You’re my muse). Kau ilhamku… (You’re my muse)._ ” Magnus closed his eyes, breathing deeply.

“Don’t leave me, Alexander.” Magnus whispered in the quietness of the bedroom, his voice was breaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is called _Kau Ilhamku_ by Man Bai. It really is a beautiful song which captured the fragility of the moment. All the songs in this story can be found on YouTube and they're Malay songs. If you wanna learn the language, now's the time. :)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. I truly appreciate it. Comments, kudos, bookmarks, subscribes, etc. are always welcome. :)


	10. Leave my brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.  
> I apologize for the one month delay. My muse was deteriorating and I did my best for this chapter. Hope you'll like it. :)

Rafael Santiago Lightwood-Bane was a happy, carefree five-year-old boy. He was five but he was smart. He knew he was adopted because he sometimes dreamt of his life in the street which would most likely lead to terrible nightmares because that life was lonely and scary and he was all alone. He only had fragments of his past life before he met his Daddy and Ayah but that life had gotten immensely blurred in his young mind. The nightmares were rare and his nights were only filled with beautiful dreams ever since he became a Lightwood-Bane. Although he wasn’t his parents’ biological child, his aunts and uncles always said that his attitude and behavior was so alike his Ayah and Daddy it was getting uncanny to them.

He _loved_ to sing and dance like Ayah and he also _loved_ to cook like Daddy. He was Daddy’s personal little helper in the kitchen and Ayah’s duet and dance partner.

Most importantly, he was also a big brother.

And he _loved_ being a big brother so, so much. 

Because his little brother Max was awesome and cute and _blue_. Who else had a blue warlock as their baby brother?

No one but _him_.

Rafael giggled and continued coloring the drawing of his family. His left hand moved up and down, side to side, while his tongue was sticking out in concentration. He had done coloring himself and almost done with Max’s blue face. Next would be Ayah and Daddy. Max would definitely love it and Daddy would put it on the wall of their bedroom next to the previous ones. Ayah sometimes would exaggerate and changed all the photos and portraits hanging on the wall of their house to his drawings. He and Max loved it when Ayah did that.

“Ayah, look.” Rafael picked up his half-colored sketch and waved it in front of Magnus. The five-year-old boy frowned when his Ayah didn’t acknowledge him or even looked at him. Ayah was actually staring intently at Daddy who was sleeping on the couch opposite of them.

“Ayah…” Rafael moved cautiously toward Magnus, slowly climbing up on top of his Ayah.

As if he was only noticing Rafael’s presence, Magnus recoiled slightly in surprise. He pinched the bridge of his nose before dropping his gaze on his son’s frowny face. “Hey, Rafe.”

“Ayah, what’s wrong?” Rafael whispered. “Why are you sad?”

“Nothing’s wrong, my sweet prince.” Magnus croaked, attempting his best to not showing his true emotions in front of his eldest.

“But you look so sad.” Rafael argued. He gawked into Magnus’ cat-like eyes, scrutinizing his Ayah like the little detective he was.

Magnus looked away, choosing to gape at his sleeping Alexander instead. Years of living in the streets had made Rafael acutely observant. If he let his son to inspect him, he would lose the fight and he would have an emotional breakdown right there and then in front of his toddler son. “I’m fine, Rafael.” 

“Why are you crying then? Are you sad, Ayah?” Rafael kept on inquiring. His young face appeared dejected. “Don’t cry, Ayah. Please don’t be sad.”

“You’re such a sweet boy.” Magnus croaked brokenly, defeated, locking eyes with his son. 

Rafael small hand touched Magnus’ face. “Do you need a hug? I have plenty.”

Magnus could only nod, opening his arms for his eldest. “Yes, please.”

Rafael all but threw himself at Magnus, wrapping his tiny arms around his father’s neck. Daddy and Ayah gave the best hugs in the world. Not even Aunt Izzy’s hug was as comforting as Ayah or Daddy’s. When Ayah or Daddy or both of them hugged him, Rafael could feel their warmth and protectiveness. He had gone for years without the feeling of protectiveness of a parent and now that he had it, he always longed for more. His parents’ hugs were always accompanied with kisses all over his face.

And Rafael Santiago Lightwood-Bane sure loved to be hugged and kissed.

“I don’t like seeing you sad.” Rafael muttered quietly, burying his face in Magnus’ neck. “When you’re sad, I’m sad too.”

“Don’t be, my son. You’re too young to feel such burden.” Magnus kissed Rafael’s hair. “I am feeling a little bit down but I’ll be okay. I have you, haven’t I?”

“Always.” Rafael’s brown eyes were filled with conviction. He sounded so much like Alec it made Magnus’ heart ached. “I wanna make sure you, and Daddy, and Max will never be sad. Sad is bad.”    

“Unfortunately, just like other emotions, sadness is a part of us. It makes us humane.” Magnus said it slowly but when Rafael’s face became unreadable, he couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh, Rafael.”

Witnessing his Ayah’s laugh, Rafael beamed as well. “You’re sad no more?”

Magnus tweaked Rafael’s nose. “I told you I’m okay, buddy. I just have a lot on my mind right now.”

Rafael sighed contentedly. He rested his head on Magnus’ chest. “Where are we going today, Ayah? What are we going to do today?”

Playing with Rafael’s soft, dark hair, Magnus hummed. “Well, first…we have to wait for Max. Aunt Izzy’s sure taking so long getting your brother ready, isn’t she?”

Rafael giggled. His small body vibrated. “Max and Aunt Izzy love clothes too much, Ayah. They can’t decide what to wear.”

“True.” Magnus returned Rafael’s content comment with a chuckle. “But I didn’t take forever like them to dress, did I?”

“You actually did, Magnus. You’re _worse_.” Instead of Rafael’s childish tone, a soft, feminine voice was heard from the door. Magnus turned toward the voice while Rafael lifted his head up from his father’s chest to see more clearly.  

“Hiya, Aunt Izzy!” Rafael waved enthusiastically at Isabelle.

“Hey, Rafe!” Isabelle gave her nephew a flying kiss. She however didn’t move from her position, making no intention to step into Alec’s old bedroom. 

“Where’s Max?” Rafael began to look around, apprehensive by the absence of his brother.

“Rawr!” Max roared, dramatically jumped out from behind Isabelle. Even with his blue skin and budding horns, he didn’t look dangerous or daunting in the least. “I’m here, abang!”

Rafael scrambled down Magnus’ lap and dashed toward Max who was fresh out of shower and thoroughly cleaned. “You took forever to get ready, adik.”

Max grinned toothily. “The mud in my hair and near my horns is hard to clean.”

Magnus eyed Max with an authoritarian look that only fathers could pull. “I hope you learned your lesson, Maxwell Michael. Mud puddle isn’t the appropriate place for you to take your _bath_.”

“Especially when you’re planning to go out.” Rafael added sternly. 

“I won’t do it again, Ayah, abang. I promise.” Max offered his sweet smile, kissing Rafael’s face and afterward his Ayah. Isabelle chuckled when she saw the exact moment both Magnus and Rafael melted by Max’s charming gesture.

“He’s a heartbreaker, for sure.” Isabelle commented, smiling as she approached the Lightwood-Banes and laughed when the two brothers began to horseplay. It brought back memories when she was younger. Roughhousing with Jace was her common activity and Alec always had to play mediator to stop them from getting too violent. 

“Just like his Daddy.” Magnus’ gaze fell from his children to Alec. He tried his best this time to hide his sadness. Not only that Rafael was a perceptive boy, he too had the tendency to get spooked easily. When they adopted Rafael who was three at that time, they knew the boy would be emotionally traumatized. They had hoped it would vanish altogether after they had showered Rafael with love but unfortunately the remains still lingered.

“Alec’s still sleeping?” Isabelle sat on the coffee table, facing both Alec and Magnus. “When’s the meeting?”

“In an hour.” Magnus exhaled heavily.

“Is everything okay?” Isabelle’s voice was soft and soothing. “You look exhausted. And honestly, Magnus…it looks like my brother is in a better shape than you right now.”

“If only that was true.” Magnus’ face crumpled. “Two months have passed and I believe things have gotten from bad to worse. Physically, he does look rather alright but internally? I don’t know how much longer Alexander can withstand this. Without his runes to aid him, his body will give up sooner or later. And I don’t know how much longer _I_ can bear seeing him suffer.” 

“I hope you’re not going to leave my brother because if you do, I swear Mag—”

“Give me some credit, Isabelle darling.” Magnus leaned further into his seat.

“Sorry. I’m just worried about Alec.” Isabelle sighed. She watched her happy nephews, playing without a care in the world. She had always been proud of Alec and Magnus for raising such incredible children. She never doubted that Alec would be a great father because the man was the _best_ brother anyone could have ever asked for.

“Something’s seriously troubling you.” Isabelle observed the eerily quiet her soon-to-be brother-in-law. “I know it has something to do with Alec. Have you talked to him about whatever it is troubling you like this?”

“I’m afraid that conversation would be utterly pointless.” Magnus muttered gloomily. “Alexander won’t listen and I won’t force him to. It’ll only lead to another argument like before.”

“If you talked to Alec, at least he’d know how you truly feel. Keeping it all to yourself isn’t healthy.” Isabelle gave her view. “Yeah, Alec knows the risks he’s taking as an individual but I don’t think he has fully grasped the impact of his decision to you and the children.” 

“I—” Magnus’ words died on his lips when he saw Rafael and Max approaching. 

“Aunt Izzy…” Young Rafael politely sat beside to Isabelle on the coffee table. “Can we go now?” 

Isabelle glanced at the wall clock. “We’ll get going in a few. Uncle Simon must be on his way.”  

Max who was already sitting on Magnus’ lap started to bounce. “Cool! And where are we going, Aunt Izzy? Ayah won’t tell us anything!” 

Ruffling the blue boy’s blue hair, Isabelle formed a smile. “I don’t wanna ruin the surprise but the place we’re going is in Manhattan.” 

Magnus wrapped his arms around Max to pour his affection _and_ to stop the boy from bouncing because he was starting to ache. “You boys have fun, alright? I want to know everything when you get home.”  

Rafael’s head snapped toward Magnus instantly. “You’re not coming with us, Ayah?” 

“I’d love to but I can’t, my darlings. Daddy needs to attend the meeting and as his partner, I’m obliged to go as well.” Magnus said easily.     

Nonetheless, Magnus actually felt horrible for lying to his sons. The reason why they were all here was because he _desperately_ needed to keep his eyes on Alec. He had advised Alec to let someone else to handle the meeting. They had a lot of other people capable enough to take his place — Jace, Isabelle, Clary, even _Raj_ — but the ever stubborn Alec Lightwood had refused.

And Magnus essentially understood because Alec had given up most of his duties as a Shadowhunter including hunting since he found out about the pregnancy and if he had to let go of his responsibilities as the Head of the Institute too, Alec might go crazy. 

Magnus surely didn’t want that to happen. 

“Could you guys keep it down?” Alec suddenly groaned with his eyes closed.

“Alec, are you fully awake, big brother?” Isabelle whispered, just in case Alec decided to go back to sleep. 

“Y-Yeah…” Alec grunted, attempting to get into a more comfortable position on the couch — which wasn’t exactly cozy for his physique in the first place — but the slight movement caused him to wince as pain began to assault him. “Is it time?”

“Not yet, love. You can go back to sleep if you want. I’ll wake you up later.” Magnus feigned a smile. It hurt him to see his Alexander bone-weary and barely functioning due to constantly being in pain.

“Nah, it’s okay. It’s supposed to be a quick nap.” Alec gingerly moved into a sitting position. Once he was comfy he let out a loud exhale.

“Sorry for disturbing you sleeping.” Isabelle apologized, watchfully ogling her big brother who had changed dramatically in appearance. Magnus was right. Alec looked worse than before. He looked haggard, gaunt, and so, so pale.  

“I’m up anyway.” Alec smiled at his baby sister. He opened his arms wide and both Rafael and Max rushed to him, abandoning Magnus and Isabelle without remorse. “Besides, my babies are gonna be away from me for a few hours. I ought to spend time with them first before succumbing myself into an exceptionally boring Shadow World meeting.” 

“You sure you wanna attend the meeting, Alec?” Isabelle was obviously unconvinced. 

“I can do this, Izzy.” Alec said faintly, leaning back a little to make himself and his boys comfy.

Isabelle could only nod. Of course she was skeptical about the whole thing. Not because Alec wasn’t a good leader, her brother was the best and he often slayed in any meetings but his current condition had made him somewhat _fragile_. Nobody outside of their family knew about Alec’s perilous situation and they repeatedly didn’t play nice. Letting Alec attend a meeting where most people were against his view was a risk. What if Alec’s condition exacerbated during the meeting?

Or if he suddenly fainted?    

“Daddy!” Max’s sudden and loud gasp made Isabelle’s heartbeats quickened. “Daddy, your tummy kicks me!”

Isabelle glanced at Magnus, who stared at Alec. Magnus appeared horrified but Alec seemed calm. They didn’t break the pregnancy news to the kids yet although Alec was already in his fifth month of pregnancy. Alec’s baby bump was barely perceptible due to his height and build. And Magnus hadn’t yet had to use his magic to glamor Alec’s changing body.

The fact that Alec often wore _black_ did help a lot too. Hiding in plain sight. 

Alec entangled himself from his sons and gazed affectionately at them. Both Rafael and Max looked terribly confused at the situation and despite feeling apprehensive by their imminent reaction, the news of his pregnancy was long overdue.

Alec remembered when his parents told him about his mother’s pregnancy. He was two years old and he was beyond ecstatic. Despite being only two at that time, he had become kind of protective when Maryse told him he was going to have a baby sister. His mother was pregnant again when he was nine and he was thrilled to be a big brother once more. Izzy loathed it at first as she was used to be the youngest in the family but in the end Maxwell Joseph Lightwood had easily won Izzy’s heart. 

And then Jace came along and the whole family accepted him with open arms and even though Alec and his parents had become estranged as he grew older, he was glad he had his siblings by his side. 

Alec hoped his sons would love being a big brother like he did. 

He was quite positive it wouldn’t be a problem to Rafael but Max however… 

“You feel the kick, Max?” Alec asked gently, carefully watching Rafael and Max’s expression. 

“I feel it, Daddy!” Max’s eyes were wide in surprise. “Why your tummy hits me? What did I do? Bad tummy.” 

“Come here.” Receiving a nod of support from Magnus, Alec lightly tugged Max and Rafael — who had jerked away when Max felt the kick — back into his lap. “Ayah and I have great news to share with you.”

“What?” Rafael was feeling nervous even though his Daddy had said it was great news. 

“Well…” Alec took a deep breath, gazing at Isabelle for addition support who smiled brightly in return. “I’m pregnant. That kick just now was the baby saying hi to his or her big brothers.”

“Right now, there’s a baby growing in Daddy’s tummy.” Magnus offered his own words, smiling a bit although it was faked so that his children wouldn’t feel uneasy. “You’re going to have a little brother or little sister soon.”

“Really? Another brother or sister?” Rafael’s eyes widen in excitement.  

“What?” Max’s brows furrowed. He seemed upset, obviously didn’t share Rafael’s sentiment regarding the matter. “Why?”

“Aren’t you happy to become a big brother like Rafe?” Alec was crestfallen by Max’s reaction.

“No!” Max screamed unexpectedly. “No! I don’t want to be a big brother! No!” 

“Max…” Alec tried to hold Max but the child pushed his hands away. 

“Don’t you love me anymore, Daddy? Ayah?” Max began to cry, his small body shook strongly. “Is that…Is that why want another…another b-baby?”

“Ayah and I will always love you, Max…and you too, Rafael. We won’t love you two any different or any less when the baby comes. Both of you are still our sons and we love you so, so much.” Alec swallowed the lump in his throat. Max’s response was heartbreaking. 

Rafael immediately hugged his baby brother who continued crying in his big brother’s embrace. Today was his least favorite day. First Ayah was sad, and now Max was openly crying. He still didn’t know why Ayah was so sad but he didn’t understand why Max didn’t want to be a big brother. 

Being a big brother was amazing! 

But Max was sad, and as a big brother he would do his best to make Max stop crying. 

“You wanna know something, Max?” Isabelle whispered, her voice gentle as she attempted to soothe the little blue warlock. “When my mom and dad first brought my brother home, I wasn't too sure about it. But then I was happy to have someone to play with. And now…I’ll be sad if I don’t have your Uncle Jace with me.”

“You might feel sad and angry right now but when the baby is born, you’ll love him or her so much, Max. You’ll love them so much you won’t let anyone hurt them, trust me.” Isabelle beamed when Max lifted his face from Rafael’s chest to look at her. She wanted to tell her nephews about her _other_ brother — Max Lightwood — but she was certain it would only make not only Max, but Rafael and Alec as well sad.

Isabelle gawked at Magnus afterwards because her words weren’t only meant for Max, but for the elder warlock as well. Even though months had passed, the warlock was still doubting himself whether he could love his unborn child. Alec had told her about it. Magnus himself had admitted it to her how he couldn’t find it in himself to have the same fervor as Alec in becoming a father for the third time. Her gaze had unintentionally locked with Magnus and right there and then Isabelle knew her words had speared him deep.  

“Daddy…” Rafael all of a sudden spoke. There was a deep frown on his face. “How are babies made? How did the baby get inside your tummy?” 

Alec sputtered even though he wasn’t drinking anything. He looked lost which obviously meant the young father of two wasn’t ready for those kind of questions from his children. Isabelle openly guffawed and Magnus also couldn’t hide his laughter seeing Alec’s reaction toward the questions.  

“You eat the baby?!” Max gasped noisily, making his own assumption and his innocent statement only made his Aunt Izzy to chortle louder. She was glad though the boy wasn’t as disconsolate as before. 

“It’s actually an amazing thing on how babies are made specifically the one currently growing inside Daddy.” Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn started speaking. He stole a glance at his fiancé who noticeably began to relax now that the burden was shared between them. His children on the other hand were listening diligently. “A seed from Ayah and an egg from Daddy join together in Daddy’s tummy. That's where the baby grows, in a special sack there called the womb.” 

“Do you mean an egg like the ones in the refrigerator?” Max harmlessly asked. 

“Blueberry…” 

“Where do you keep your seeds, Ayah? Do you have to water them?” Rafael prompted his own questions as well which turned out to be worse than Max’s.

“Oh, my…” Isabelle tried her best not to burst out laughing out loud because that would be awfully bad for her nephews’ self-esteems but she wished Jace could hear this. The blonde would have been rolling on the floor due to his inability to contain his laughter. Both Alec and Magnus’ expressions were to die for too. They appeared like fish out of water, gaping, completely taken aback by their sons’ inquiries. 

“Um…guys?” Simon who had just arrived stood there awkwardly. He didn’t know why Izzy looked like she was about to pass out but he sure as hell wanted to know. 

“Uncle Simon!” Rafael and Max screamed almost at the same time and ran toward their uncle. Their inquiries were completely forgotten much to their daddies’ delight. Magnus let out a deep exhale while Alec slumped against his seat in relief. 

“Let’s go, boys. I really need the fresh air. My organs are starving of oxygen.” Isabelle giggled, ushering Max and Rafael out of the door but both of them ran back to their fathers. The young Lightwood-Banes hugged their Ayah first who was closest and then they moved to their Daddy, hugging him simultaneously. 

“I love you, Daddy.” Max admitted openly. 

“I love you too…both of you.” Alec genuinely answered, tightening his hold on both of his boys. “I’ve loved you then, I love you now, and I’ll love you forever.”   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! This chapter is the longest I've written by far. I truly hope my muse won't abandon me for the upcoming chapters. Fingers crossed! :)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. I truly appreciate it. Comments, kudos, bookmarks, subscribes, etc. are always welcome. :)


	11. Flesh and blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.

It had been a very, very long time since Magnus Bane had been living in fear. He had been in constant fear after his mother had committed suicide. He felt protected when his mother was around. He felt _free_ and that freedom was soothing. His mother had once loved him, cared for him but it all changed when his warlock mark started to show. When he lost her, he felt alone because even before she died, his mother’s husband, his own stepfather who was once affectionate to him had also despised him because of his mark. After she had passed, his stepfather was ruthless. It was like something inside that man was unleashed. His young self was beaten up, left to starve, and been treated worse than _animal_. Every single second of his life was surrounded with terror. His stepfather’s face had become the subject of his nightmares every night.

Although his nights were plague with nightmares, they were the safest time for him. Because his stepfather would be asleep, and the man would leave him alone till tomorrow come. The moment the sun came out, his small, fragile body would be shaking in horror. He was truthfully afraid to even _see_ the man. If his stepfather’s face was the reason of his nightmares, his voice never fail to trigger his panic attack. During those times when he was tortured, he often wished ibu had taken him with her. He actually _feared_ to live another day but he would happily welcome death. That was why he was so confused and scared and was actually hopeless when he accidentally burned his stepfather to death.

But he also admittedly was relieved to be free from that cruel man. What could you expect from a young boy who was continuously tormented by someone who was supposed to love you unconditionally?

Nevertheless, that was his past. His mother was long gone, and so was his stepfather. He, Magnus Bane…the High Warlock of Brooklyn had no regret of _that_ past. That was just a speck of his long, immortal life.

But he never thought that same fear would return and haunt him, shaking him to the core and made him hopeless. This time the extent of the fear was overwhelming because he didn’t fear just for himself, but for his family.

Because Alexander Gideon Lightwood wasn’t just another _speck_ in life.

Alexander was his world, his everything.

And he wasn’t ready to lose his Alexander.

Closing the book in his lap, Magnus Bane swiftly put it on the console table and stalked toward Alec. His mind was set. He wouldn’t delay the matter any longer. Their time was limited. “Alexander, we need to talk.”

“Hmmm?” Alec harrumphed from where he sat on the couch. He was distractedly munching some crackers while watching the television.

“I’ve found a way to reverse the spell.” Magnus muttered straight to the point. He knew the inevitable fight was approaching but Isabelle was right. He had been stalling to talk about this for over a month and today seemed the best time to talk things through considering the children were currently with their Uncle Jace and only the two of them were left in the loft.

“Hmm…what spell? Is it for your clients?” Alec’s eyes were focused on the television. To Magnus’ chagrin, his fiancé was watching a reality TV show but he wasn’t going to comment on that. Not at the moment anyway.

“No, it’s for you.” Magnus took a cautious seat beside Alec on the couch. He took out a potion vial from the inside of his jacket.

“For me?” Alec frowned, finally tearing his eyes off the television. He seized the vial from Magnus and inspected it. The green liquid in the vial glowed brightly albeit sickeningly. “What is it for? If it’s for my nausea, I told you I have a bit more left.”

“Alexander…” Magnus enveloped Alec’s hands in his, making the Shadowhunter look at him in confusion. The vial shined securely from the inside of their enclosed palm. “This potion can reverse Camille’s spell on us. Everything will go back to the way it was.”

“Back to…normal?”   

“Yes, it’ll be as if nothing ever happen.” Magnus held the potion. Seeing Alec’s reaction, a tinge of hope warmed up into his core. “When we drink this, all of Camille’s curse will be wiped clean. There’ll be absolutely no remnants left.”

“ _Good job_ , Magnus.” Alec was smiling but his tone wasn’t warm or gentle at all. “I didn’t know you can be so _cruel_.”

“Alexander…” Magnus’ hope crushed to bits. Of course Alec wouldn’t be happy about it. It was too good to be true.

“How can you even _suggest_ it? This is _our_ _baby_ we’re talking about! I’m not stupid, Magnus. I know what a reverse spell can do. I know what _wiped clean_ mean.” Alec was breathing harshly. He stood up and distanced himself as far from Magnus as he could.

“It’s for the greater good. You’ll get your true anatomy back and—”

“And the baby will be gone, right? Vanish into thin air as if he or she has never existed! _That_ will definitely make you happy, won’t it? Things will be easier for _you_.” Alec was seething. “How many times exactly had you done this before, Magnus? How many young women had you impregnated in your lifetime and how many of them had been forced to abort? Because you seem so _casual_ about this. You talk about killing a baby without any remorse whatsoever.”

“What has gotten into you? I just want to talk, no need to get defensive.” Magnus was hurt. Alexander had always been blunt and straightforward and he loved that about the Shadowhunter but when he became downright nasty, it stung a lot. He got up from the couch and approached Alec. His fiancé didn’t walk away from him but he appeared extremely loathed to be close to him. “And in case you’ve forgotten, Alexander…I’m a warlock and warlocks are barren.”

Alec scowled. “Well, _this_ happen so curse or not, you might not be as sterile as you said. But then again, what do _I_ know, right? I’m just a young, naïve Shadowhunter for you to manipulate. This might have happened before but you’re too _coward_ to admit it!”

Magnus’ features turned upset. As much as he wanted to blame the pregnancy hormones, he still had feelings too. “ _This_ has only happened to me _once_ in my lifetime and it’s right now with you. Yes, I’m a coward, I’m _spineless_ because I’m truly scared, Alexander! That’s the truth! I’m so fucking petrified to lose you!”

Even though it happened in a split second, Magnus did witness the change of Alec’s body language. His fiancé’s expression wasn’t as hard as before, his body was no longer stiff and the fiery wasn’t visible in his hazel eyes anymore. This argument had been going on and on ever since they found out about the pregnancy and despite never wanting to fight about it again, they still did. Magnus was truthfully learning to accept the new addition in his life, he truly was. He even had helped Alec and Isabelle chose and bought the essential things that the baby might need when he or she was born. It had been a while since the last time they had a newborn at the loft. Max was already three now and everything seemed so foreign to him.

Magnus had stopped searching for the cure for Alec’s sake, since he knew there was no way Alec would change his mind but a few weeks back, something had happened that made him reconsider _everything_. Alec was _glowing_ in his sleep and the radiant was so bright it almost blinded him. Nobody else witnessed it since it was in the middle of the night, close to dawn. Alec was sound asleep and so were Rafael and Max but in their own bedroom. It was the same gold hue as when Magnus had tried to heal Alec for the first time that had resulted in him to be thrown into a wall while Alec screamed his lungs out in agony. With the shared strength from Jace and Isabelle, that was the night they learnt that Alec was pregnant and all of his bizarre _symptoms_ actually because of the new life inside of him.

Alec wasn’t sick, Alec was pregnant.

It wasn’t another case of demon pox…Alexander Gideon Lightwood was actually having a baby.

The golden glow hadn’t made any appearances since the fateful night of the revelation, as if it had established that nobody would harm it or its carrier. It was protecting itself and its father. But it had returned and Magnus had a feeling it was seeking more strength from Alec because it had made Alec tremble in his sleep, his t-shirt damped with cold sweats, and his skin would be scorching hot. Magnus could barely touch him without flinching because the magical glow was prepared to retaliate anytime. It didn’t happen every night but the occurrence was far too often for his liking. He hadn’t told anyone about it, not even Alec himself, not until he was sure.

Magnus Bane had lived for over four hundred years and this was the first time ever he had heard or witnessed such thing and he was _terrified_. That was why for the past few days he had been working harder to find a cure and he eventually stumbled upon the reversal spell, which was their best option right now.

He wanted to put an end to it not because he was threatened by such power from an unborn creature, but because he tragically _knew_ his Alexander wouldn’t survive something that potent.  

“Why do you keep doing this, Magnus?” Alec capitulated, his voice low. “Why do you keep trying to destroy this life inside of me when you know perfectly well I’ll never agree? I thought you _respect_ my decision.”

“Respect doesn’t mean I’d _honor_ it.” Magnus’ voice sharpened a bit. “I told you I’d find a way to save you and I did and I am _not_ going to apologize, Alexander. I won’t apologize for wanting to save the man I love.”

Magnus gazed up at his lover. Alec’s face looked gaunt, his skin was sickly pale, his body was getting skinnier each day no matter how much he ate, which wasn’t much because of the constant nausea. Magnus had conjured food up from all over the world and yet, most of them had failed to trigger Alec’s sense of smell or taste bud. He would either refuse to eat them, or he did consume them and then ended up puking them all out. In the end, the only thing Alec could eat without trouble was plain crackers. Or sometimes when his stomach wanted something more _adventurous_ , he would take the boys’ fish crackers too.

Quarreling wouldn’t solve anything, not when one side was a hotheaded boy. Magnus often forgot how young his Alexander was. He, as an ancient warlock should be more matured about this. He, as the older one between the two of them had to be courteous and handled it sensibly.

Alexander had suffered enough.

“You should try to eat more than just crackers, dear.” Magnus said softly as reconciliation and gently guided Alec back to the couch. The younger man looked exhausted. He was pleased when Alec didn’t push him away. “Do you need anything, Alexander?”

“Nope, I’m good.” Alec rested his head on the couch and closed his eyes. He hated it when he and Magnus fought but they were too much alike than they would like to admit. “I will drink the potion.”

“That’s—”

“After the baby’s born.” Alec promptly continued before Magnus could form a sentence. He opened his tired hazel eyes and apologetically glanced at Magnus. “I’ll take the reversal potion after the baby’s born. This is _our_ baby, Magnus. Like it or not he’s _ours_. He has been inside of me for sixth months now. I saw his sonogram, I heard his heartbeat, and I constantly felt him move. I _want_ this baby, Magnus. This baby is the proof of our love. We make the impossible possible.”

“But it’s too risky. What about me, Alexander? What about Rafe and Max? Don’t you care about us at all? Having this baby…we don’t know _what_ will happen to you. We don’t know the true consequences. What if…what if you d-die? Our children would lose their Daddy. And I would lose the love of my life.” Magnus swallowed the lump in his throat. Just thinking about it made him shiver. “I don’t wanna lose you. I c-can’t lose you this soon.”

“We can’t make decisions based on what ifs. I refuse to do so.” Alec said eloquently, cupping Magnus’ face tenderly. “We don’t choose our birth, we don’t choose our death.”

“It’s true we can’t prevent our death but this is suicide, Alexander.” Magnus leaned into Alec’s clasp, desperately searching for comfort. “If you want your own flesh and blood so much, I’ll find a way. I promise I’ll find a way but you don’t have to do this.”

“It’s not about wanting my own flesh and blood but I have to do this, Magnus. I _need_ to do this.” 

“W-Why? Why are you so resolute about this baby?” Magnus’ heart thumped fast in his chest. He placed a hand on Alec’s chest to ensure himself that the Shadowhunter’s heart was beating as fast too. It was one of his assurances that his Alexander was still there with him, and that he wasn’t deteriorating.

“Have you ever thought about what would happen if Max’s mom had an abortion?” Alec dropped his head on Magnus’ chest and sighed contentedly. “If Max’s biological mother had done it out of fear, we wouldn’t have our Blueberry with us, Magnus. We would miss all the fun, all the happiness and all of our love for our young son would be wasted away.”

“This is not the same.” Magnus shook his head, disagreeing instantly.

“Is it though?” Alec smiled faintly. “We don’t know what the future holds. If we go through with this reverse spell, the baby’s future is forever gone. We don’t even give him a chance to live. I can’t imagine if Max or Rafael’s lives were taken away from them involuntarily. I can’t imagine my life without my sons with me. We keep thinking about the worse but that might not be the case. I might survive this and in the end, we’d have another child to love. You and the boys have already completed me but this little one here is family too. He is our missing puzzle piece. I know I’m strong enough to do this. Have faith in me, Magnus.”  

Magnus sighed and nodded, defeated. “I need you to be safe. We can have as many children as we want but there’s only one _you_ in this world, Alexander.”

Alec propped himself up and stared lovingly at Magnus. “And I will. I’m young, at the prime of my age. I’m sure everything will be okay. But I need you, Magnus. I need you together with me in this. I can’t do this without you.” 

Magnus pecked Alec’s lips chastely. “I’m always here for you. _Aku sayang kamu, Alexander_ (I love you, Alexander). _Aku sayang kamu lebih dari segalanya_ (I love you more than anything).”

Alec instantly deepened the kiss and pulled Magnus on top of him on the couch. He had missed his fiancé. “ _Selagi jantungku berdegup hingga tiba saat terhenti, kaulah dihati_ (Until my heart stops beating, you’re in my heart). _Tiada pilihan kedua, pertama hingga akhir usia, hanya kamu_ (No second choice, you’re the only one till the end of my time, only you).”

Magnus instinctively beamed. He loved it when Alec or their children spoke in his native language. He felt proud and welcomed when it happened. He let out an involuntarily, loud moan when Alec bit his lower lip, seeking for more access. “Al-Alexander, maybe we should…we should stop.”   

Alec’s only response was to slink his arms tighter around Magnus. His protruding belly was kind of getting in a way but he would definitely manage. It had been so long since they were intimate with one another. He didn’t ask for much. He just wanted to be close with his fiancé, the father with his children. Aside from his obvious pregnancy, there were the kids, and then the uneasiness throughout the pregnancy, and the meetings to attend and clients to pleased, and of course the trepidation to do more than a peck on the lips or cheeks because of Alec’s current condition. “I love you, Magnus. I want you…”

Magnus heaved a breath. He could see the love in Alec’s eyes. He reached out, fingers grazing the Shadowhunter’s cheek as the younger man leaned into his touch once more. “I love you too, darling…but I don’t think now’s the time for us to—”

“Why not?” Alec grunted, dismayed. “You’re my fiancé, and I’m yours…and it has been too long. I _need_ you.”

Magnus gasped loudly when Alec’s fingers crept to his waist. He didn’t know how long he had been abstinence from sex. Perhaps a month or two? Maybe more? If someone told his younger self that he would _willingly_ abstain himself from sex, he would laugh and called them crazy. That was how much his life had changed.

But he was a mere man. And his fiancé was beyond stunning and breathtaking. Just a small touch could make his entire body tingly.

Nevertheless Alec’s wellbeing meant more to him than his sexual desire.

Magnus groaned in frustration as he traced his thumb along Alec’s lower lip. “You have no idea how much I want to devour you, Alexander…”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Less fluff, more angst in the upcoming chapters. Be prepared. :O
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. I truly appreciate it. Comments, kudos, bookmarks, subscribes, etc. are always welcome. :)


	12. Unimaginable agony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd. 
> 
> Oh my God! The new Malec trailer left me speechless! Alec was blushing at Magnus and then he was clearly unconscious in Jace's arms, wasn't he?! I really can't wait for Season 2 to start!

Alexander Gideon Lightwood had never felt happier or luckier than he was right now. Born into a family of status, he had never lacked of anything throughout his life. He was the eldest son, the first born. He was a big brother, the protector of his siblings. He was a Shadowhunter, the leader of his own Institute. He was the representative, the youngest of his species to join the Clave meetings. Despite being drilled by his parents to be the perfect son, despite the difficulties he had faced when he came out as a gay Shadowhunter, despite the hatred he had confronted when the Shadow World found out he was dating Magnus Bane — a warlock, a Downworlder — his life was undoubtedly better than others. He was loved by his family, he had never gone to bed with empty stomach, he had a comfy bed to sleep in, he had a home, and most importantly, he had a _family_. 

Alec knew all about Magnus Bane, his fiancé’s past. How terrible his childhood was and how he had learned to survive on his own before the Silent Brothers found him and gave him shelter. That was why nobody knew how content he truly was to be able to give the love of his life a family. A family to call _their_ own. He and Magnus were blissful when there were just the two of them but their happiness had been doubled, _tripled_ , when their sons came into their life. Being a young father was admittedly tough, what with his responsibilities and demands on him as a brother, a son, and a Shadowhunter. 

But being a parent with Magnus made it seem _blithe_. 

Made it become manageable and totally easy. 

Together with Magnus and their children, they were _the_ Lightwood-Banes.

Their home had been filled with indefinite love and Alec felt so very blessed. Magnus and their children were his sun, his moon and his stars. He hoped Magnus knew how much he loved him, how much he cherished him in his life. Not only the High Warlock was an amazing partner, he was an incredible father as well. Alec smiled at the fond memories of Magnus with any of their children and his smile grew when Max suddenly ran out of his bedroom to the living room clad in his fluffy gray shark bathrobe. 

“Daddy, help!” Little Maxwell Michael Lightwood-Bane shrieked with laughter. His hair was wet and it could only mean the boy had just gotten out of shower.

“Blueberry!” Magnus’ loud yet affectionate voice was heard next.

“Why are you running away from Ayah, Max?” Alec investigated the blue warlock as he struggled to climb up on him. It appeared difficult for the boy since the shark bathrobe was wrapped tightly around his small body.

“Because Daddy…” Max wheezed, out of breath from the strenuous _exercise_ of climbing up the big couch and his tall Daddy. “Ayah insist I wear the costume! I don’t wanna!” 

“I think you and Rafael are going to look extra adorable wearing the costumes.” Alec attempted to persuade Max. He knew what costume the boy was talking about. Max himself had chosen it and now he didn’t want to wear it. Oh, the beauty of having young children. 

“Daddy, nooo…” Max pouted, feeling betrayed. “I _can’t_ wear it! I need to have my own _identy_! My own style!”

Alec nodded and grinned. “You do have your own _identity_ , Max. And believe me, you’re very stylish. You don’t get to be Magnus Bane’s son and dressed poorly. But you’re attending a _themed_ birthday party and you chose that costume yourself. You can’t back down now, buddy.” 

Max pouted even more. It only made him look cuter. “But I don’t wanna! I don’t wanna be Woody anymore!” 

“Maxwell Michael!” Magnus entered the living room with Rafael. The young Shadowhunter was already in his costume and he looked ready and great. “Put on your costume now or we’re gonna be late!” 

“Don’t wanna be Woody.” Max grumbled, crossing his arms. Even with Alec’s protruding tummy, the boy seemed beyond comfortable sitting on his Daddy’s lap.  

“Why?” Rafael interjected, coming out from behind his Ayah and he appeared sad. “You said you wanna be Woody together with me.” 

“I don’t like Woody anymore, Rafe.” Max guiltily glanced at Rafael. He was kind of worried his big brother would hate him. “I wanna be Buzz.” 

“Max, we talk about this.” Magnus stated firmly. “You can be any characters from Toy Story except for Buzz. Only Matthew can be him for today because…?” 

“…because it’s Matty’s birthday.” Max replied albeit reluctantly. “If I can’t be Buzz, I wanna be Baymax then.” 

“You can be him on _your_ birthday.” Magnus responded instantly and winked at his grumpy son. 

“Ayah, can I be Prince Eric?” Rafael asked timidly

“Yes, of course.” Magnus’ eyes sparkled with delight. “Ooh, I was thinking…for Max’s birthday we’ll go with superheroes theme and the theme for Rafe’s fifth birthday will be all about Disney’s princes and princesses!”

“Yeay!” Both Rafael and Max cheered.

Alec groaned from his seat, shooting Magnus a glare. It was a known fact Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn _loved_ to host parties. During his bachelor life, aside from being a warlock and attending his clients, all he did was either planning parties or attending them no matter where the parties were and who were hosting them. He would go to the end of the world if he deemed the party was worth it. When Magnus started dating Alec, his social activities didn’t completely stop but it had lessened. Much to the Downworlders chagrin, if Magnus _did_ attend any party, more often than not he would show up with his Shadowhunter boyfriend. 

Then they had Max. Little Maxwell Michael who both Alec and Magnus loved profoundly. Little Max had become Magnus’ new inspiration to plan a party. Luckily for him, Alec understood his obsession as he too felt the ambiance of becoming a new father. Magnus threw an extraordinary party when Max took his first step. He did the same when Max uttered his first word. The most spectacular bash he had thrown was on Max’s first birthday. All of the celebrations Magnus had made for his son weren’t wild like he used to go to, but they were the _gracious_ ones. Reserved for family members and close friends only. 

Alec and Magnus did the same with Rafael on his fourth birthday, a year after they had adopted him. His third birthday was celebrated just among them because the boy was new to his surrounding and he was still scared. Inviting strangers into his comfort zone was absolutely a no. As Rafael grew comfortable with them and everyone else, Magnus was getting bold with his party planning for his sons too. 

Simply put, Magnus Bane and parties were inseparable. 

Magnus modestly grinned at Alec as he gently tugged Max from the couch. “Come on, Blueberry…chop chop! Our little werewolf friend is waiting!”

“Okay!” Without any protest this time, Max dashed toward his bedroom.

“I’m too old for this.” Magnus complained as he followed Max to help the boy changed into his Woody costume. If he let his son did it himself, it would take forever considering all of the pieces that needed to be assembled. It would be too much for a young boy like Max. Even Rafael struggled to put on the getup prior.

Alec guffawed, shaking his head at Magnus and Max’s antics. His attention fell on Rafael seconds later. His eldest was busy inspecting his marvelous attire. “You look very handsome, Rafe. The Cowboy outfit and hat suit you well.” 

Rafael beamed toothily. “Thank you, Daddy. I’m Woody!” 

“Have fun at the party, okay?” Alec flicked Rafael’s cowboy hat. “But please stay close to Ayah. Make sure Max does too.”

“Okay, Daddy.” Rafael nodded, taking the instruction seriously. “You still don’t wanna go with us, Daddy?” 

“I’m sorry, Rafe.” Alec affectionately cupped Rafael’s face. “I’m not feeling well right now. Some other time, yeah?”  

“Okay…” Rafael was clearly disappointed but he didn’t say anything else. 

“Hey, don’t be sad.” Alec tapped Rafael’s hat again because he knew his son hated it when did that. And he was right when Rafael deliberately shoved his hand away. “Ayah will be there with you, Max is going too. You’re going to have so much fun!” 

“But you’re gonna be all alone here.” Rafael’s sad expression turned gloomier. 

“It’s just for a couple of hours, kiddo. And I’m not going to be alone for long either. Your Un—” 

“Don’t worry, Rafey…your handsome Uncle Jace is here.” Jace who came out of nowhere was suddenly standing by the couch with a jar of cookies in his gloved hands. Neither Alec nor Rafael had noticed his arrival let alone noted his presence in the house and his activity in the kitchen.

“You’re early.” Alec commented dryly, unruffled by Jace’s larks. He had lived with his brother long enough to know how creative he was when it came to breaking and entering. The fact that the Lightwood’s family was resistant to Magnus’ wards had caused Jace’s ingenious activity to become less challenging. Rafael however was still frowning at his uncle as the latter took a seat beside his Daddy. His young mind must have been trying to solve the mystery of Uncle Jace’s sudden presence.

“Demons are getting easier and easier to kill. I swear they’re getting slower and more stup— imbecile every day.” Jace was happily munching the homemade cookies baked by Magnus and his nephews. “Hey, Rafe!” 

“Hiya, Uncle Jace.” Rafael smiled at his favorite uncle even though his mind was still reeling. 

“Whoa! Cool costume, dude!” Jace leaned forward and slowly twirled his nephew, wanting to see the outfit thoroughly. “Those boots are awesome!” 

“Ayah made them.” Rafael raised his left foot, shaking it to show it off. 

“ _Made_ them?” Jace scoffed and was immediately rewarded with a smack at the back of his head by Alec. He scowled at Alec who just smirked in return. “Yeah, sure. Magnus _made_ them.”

“Are you here to hang out with Daddy?” Rafael snatched Chairman Meow from the floor and effortlessly got on the couch in between his Daddy and Uncle Jace.

“Uhuh, uhuh.” Jace nodded enthusiastically like a kid, making Rafael giggle. “As your daddy’s awesome brother and parabatai, it is my duty to be with him in time of dread like this.”

Alec rolled his eyes. He knew Jace came to accompany him willingly but the blonde Shadowhunter sure was too much sometime. A more Drama Queen than Magnus. But Jace was a good man. He was just trying to entertain his nephew and subconsciously, him too. His life had been dull lately, only surrounded by the walls of the loft. After entering the third trimester, his fatigue had worsened and he barely went to the Institute anymore to do his job as the Head of the Institute. His life as a Shadowhunter of course by now was nonexistent. Simon had become his replacement during their daily hunt and in the paperwork they would write down his name in case somebody went snooping around for evidence of his involvement.    

Overall, Alec was grateful. The others who knew about him understood his current condition but there weren’t many of them and the rest who didn’t would begin to wonder his absence at the Institute itself. So far only his family and their close friends knew about his pregnancy and if the others started to make a fuss and brought the matter to the Clave, not only his life was in danger, his unborn baby too. They still didn’t know the true nature of the baby whether it was a Shadowhunter or a warlock or even a demon. There wasn’t any true _sign_ to prove it but no matter what species his child would turn out to be, he would love him with everything he had. But honestly, he didn’t know everyone else’s true outlooks regarding the baby. If Magnus and Robert had been _horrified_ with the baby’s mere existence but wouldn’t do anything to harm him, the Clave wouldn’t be as _merciful_ as his fiancé and his father.

Alec gasped, his chest suddenly constricted. He was dizzy and the room began spinning, shifting strongly. He felt cold all of a sudden but his skin was perspiring. He _knew_ for a certain this wasn’t a panic attack. He knew what _exactly_ was happening but this time it was somewhat different than before. This was worse and he found himself terrified because he simply couldn’t _breathe_. 

“J-Jace…” Alec panted, wildly grasping at his brother.

“Alec, Alec…what’s wrong?!” Jace was panicking and Alec could hear it clearly. “You…you’re glowing.”

“Ayaaahhh!” Rafael’s frantic scream was heard next but Alec could do nothing to pacify his terrified son. The young Shadowhunter ran to the bedroom, searching for his other father. 

“C-Can’t…breathe…” Alec wheezed desperately, wanting more than anything to be able to respire. “Help, J-Ja-Jace…” 

“Magnus!” Jace shouted as he held Alec who was slowly turning blue. “Magnus!” 

“Drink this.” In split second Magnus was there, softly urging the struggling Alec to drink the yellow colored potion.

Due to the inability to even to breathe, the simple task was proven to be hard for Alec. He gagged at first and his eyes were screwed shut as he drank the potion. Once it was done he gasped harshly as felt the potion did it job. He gripped Jace’s t-shirt for support and leaned his head on Magnus’ shoulder for comfort. The two men held him tight. His brother and parabatai quietly shared his strength through their parabatai bond. His lover and fiancé whispered beautiful nothings to his ear to calm him down.

“What was that?!” Jace was extremely disturbed with what he had seen only seconds ago. 

“Did Alexander seem to glow?” Magnus was too calm for Jace’s liking. It only triggered his rage.

“Yes!”

“From what I had gathered, the glow means that magic is used and Alexander’s insides are deteriorating.” Magnus muttered, caressing Alec’s hair gently. “It is only stimulated whenever the baby takes something vital from you, Alexander.” 

“You knew…about this?” Alec was slurring. “Why didn’t you…tell me?” 

“Yes, I knew, Alexander. It had happened several times in the past few weeks and I can’t actually ignore it.” Magnus explained his discoveries in soft, nonchalant voice. “But what’s the point of me telling you, Alexander? I can’t do anything to change your mind about the baby…and I can’t even help you regenerate all the wear and tear of your cells and tissues because the baby simply doesn’t _allow_ it.”

“So, you decided to _hide_ it?” Jace spat. “Hoping nobody will ever find out?”   

“This doesn’t involve you, Golden Boy.” Magnus seethed back.   

“The hell it’s not! Alec is my brother _and_ my parabatai! I’ll protect him at any cost including from you!” 

Magnus unexpectedly snapped his fingers and Jace was initially alarmed, afraid the High Warlock would cast a dirty spell on him but he visibly relaxed when it turned out Magnus had conjured a few bottles of the same yellow potion as before. “Give Alexander one of these if the attack returns. It’ll ease off his pain.” 

Jace skeptically contemplated Magnus. “How can I be sure it’ll work? I might end up _killing_ my parabatai before me even knowing it.” 

Rising to his feet, Magnus regarded Jace coolly. “It’ll work perfectly. I’ve been using it on Alexander when he had the assaults in the middle of the night while he slept.” 

“And where are you going?” Jace’s narrowed his eyes in exasperation. By the Angel, he _despised_ the warlock so much at the moment. “Shouldn’t you stay here with your _fiancé_ while he recovers?” 

“I’m taking the boys now and we’ll be back in a few hours, okay?” Magnus kissed Alec’s forehead, completely disregard Jace’s remark. 

“Where are they?” Alec asked quietly, less breathlessly as prior as he slowly gaining back his strength. “Is Rafael okay? He saw—” 

“The boys are asleep. I had to put a sleeping spell on them because Rafael was panicking and it made Max frighten as well. But our sons will be alright when they wake up.” Magnus swiftly answered. “Is that okay with you?” 

“Yeah.” Alec nodded, clutching Magnus’ arm. He just wanted to feel his fiancé, seeking for his comfort. 

“I love you.” Magnus pecked Alec’s lips quickly. He then went to the children’s bedroom and mere seconds later there was a bright purple glow, informing Alec and Jace that he had opened up a portal.

“Asshole.” Jace swore under his breath once the purple glow of the portal was gone. “Leaving you like this and go with the boys without letting them see you first? What kind of partner is he?!” 

Alec stared at his hands as if they were the most interesting thing in the world at present, silently contemplating. The burden he was carrying suddenly was threatening to swallow him whole. “The wedding is off.” 

Jace blinked, flabbergasted. “What? What are you talking about?”   

“Magnus is going to leave me.” Alec uttered dejectedly. “I’m losing Magnus, Jace. Slowly but surely, my fiancé’s going to call off the wedding and leave me.” 

“Alec, you’re not making any sense. Why would—” 

“I know about the magic and the glow, Jace. I had known about it long before Magnus did and I didn’t tell him. I pretended to be sleeping when he was around and suffered alone when he wasn’t. Magnus is gonna hate me when he finds out.” Alec sounded defeated. “I’m just so tired fighting with him over and over again. The reasons were _always_ about the baby. I didn’t tell him because I didn’t want him to hate his child even more.” 

“He’s not gonna hate you, Alec.” Jace patted Alec’s shoulder. “He loves you, he’ll understand.” 

“But he won’t, Jace.” Alec intuitively leaned into the touch. “I know Magnus. He’ll feel betrayed and trust me, Magnus doesn’t handle betrayal well.” 

“Yeah, I’ve seen how you were when you two broke up.” Jace grimaced at the memory. He had felt what Alec had been feeling and he didn’t want to feel that again. He actually felt dead inside. He didn’t want Alec to suffer like that for a second time. “Okay…Magnus _might_ be angry when he find out but his feelings for you won’t just _die_ , Alec. It was different before. It was just you and him. The situation has changed now and Magnus is a respectable man. He won’t neglect his children and you, the father of his children out of anger.”

“I’m scared, Jace.” Alec finally confessed. 

“Don’t be, Alec. Whatever happens I’ll always be there for you.” Jace sincerely acknowledged. 

Alec smiled at that even though it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m not scared for myself… I’m scared for this baby.” 

Jace frowned. “What do you mean?”

Alec looked heartbroken. “I know Magnus is trying but I know he still can’t make himself to love this baby. I’m just…I’m scared that nobody will genuinely love this child. I’m scared for his future, of what will happen to him when I’m gone.”

Jace was dismayed. “Alec, don’t say that!”

Alec gave Jace a sad smile. “I’m in pain, Jace. I told Magnus that everything’s gonna be okay but it was a lie. I’m in an unimaginable agony that often makes me wonder if today is going to be my last day alive and breathing.” 

Tears began welling in Jace’s eyes. “Alec…”

Alec gingerly lifted the hoodie he was wearing and his parabatai immediately gasped. “My runes are all gone.” 

“By the Angel…” Jace swallowed the lump in his throat. His hands were shaking as he touched Alec’s marred skin. It hurt him seeing Alec’s current condition. The runes, the signs that his parabatai was a Shadowhunter were charred, leaving burn marks in their place. Not only that, Alec’s entire body was scattered with angry looking bruises too. Some of the contusions were reddish but most were bluish and purple. 

“I’m dying, Jace.” Alec stated matter-of-factly. 

“Alec, please…” Jace was openly crying. 

“As my brother and parabatai, I need you to do something for me.” Alec held the crying Jace close to him. “Promise me…if it comes to saving me or the baby, you’ll save my child.”

“N-No, Alec. I…I c-can’t.” Jace whimpered.

“Please, Jace. Please promise me that.” Alec clutched onto his parabatai as if Jace was his lifeline. “Promise me you’ll save him, that you’ll love…love him as much as you love Rafe and Max. Promise me you’ll take care of my…my children and M-Magnus. Promise me, Jace. Please…”

Jace’s breath hitched but in the end, he nodded. “I promise.”    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how was this chapter? I was so nervous writing it! I hope you like it, dear readers!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. I truly appreciate it. Comments, kudos, bookmarks, subscribes, etc. are always welcome. :)


	13. Too honorable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.  
> December 19th is my ibu's (mother in Malay) birthday! I feel so blessed and thankful to still have her in my life. :)

Alexander Gideon Lightwood woke up that day with a mission. He had made the resolution to do said operation last night before he went to bed and as a new had come, he would definitely executed his mission. His ultimate mission was to spend the entire day and night with his family which consisted of not only his fiancé Magnus Bane and his children Rafael and Max, but his siblings Jace and Isabelle, his father Robert, and even Clary and Simon too. The past few weeks, before he had the talk with Jace, he had felt unbelievably empty. It was ridiculous since Magnus was there with him in the loft all the time, making potions for clients in his working room which was just a few feet away. His sons might not be there during the day — Rafael at the Academy and Max detoured to the Institute — but both of them would be back by noon. Somewhat despite knowing that, he still felt hollow. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the pregnancy hormones or was it just _him_.        

Nevertheless, his conversation with Jace a week back had lightened him up a bit. He didn’t feel that hollowness anymore. He was still pretending in front of his family especially Magnus that he was fine and he felt horrible for lying to his fiancé because Magnus was just trying to help but it needed to be done. It was his way to _protect_ Magnus. And his agreement with Jace conversely was to protect his baby. He was at ease knowing that his unborn child would be sheltered by his brother and that the baby would be in Jace’s capable hands when he was gone. Even though he knew he could depend on Magnus with Rafael and Max, he was feeling a bit dubious when it came to this unborn baby. Not that he didn’t trust his own fiancé, he just needed some kind of insurance from someone who loved him that _wasn’t_ Magnus. 

Magnus undoubtedly would be pissed and hurt when he found out about his and Jace’s pact and all he could wish was that someday Magnus would forgive him. 

Because bringing his and Magnus child to this world would be his final sacrifice for his beloved family. 

The bedroom door was creaked open and Alec who was already awake lifted up his head slightly at the sudden noise. “Daddy?” 

The shadow by the ajar door was a little tall to be Max but way too short to be Magnus, making Alec immediately recognize who it was. It was none other than his eldest son, Rafael. “Hey, Rafe.” 

“Daddy, how did you know it was me?” Rafael asked as he excitedly ran to the bed, to his Daddy. He didn’t climb up though, just leaning at the side of the bed and gawking at Alec.    

“I’m your Daddy, of course I know.” Alec winked, gingerly sitting up. “Ayah has the same superpower too, you know.”   

“That’s so cool!” Rafael mused dreamily. “Will I get it someday?” 

“Absolutely.” Alec ruffled Rafael’s perfectly combed hair just to bother his young son. “So, what are you doing here, buddy? Do you need something?” 

“Daddy, stop it.” Rafael’s small hands absentmindedly fixed his brown hair all the while pouting at his Daddy. “Ayah let me watch the Little Mermaid and Prince Eric’s scene is coming up and I wanna watch it with you because Prince Eric reminds me of you, Daddy because he looks just like you, tall, dark, and handsome!”  

“Breathe, Rafe. I don’t want you to pass out.” Alec chuckled at Rafael’s enthusiasm. His boy had the tendency to talk nonstop and without a full stop especially if it was something he was passionate about. “Tall, dark, and handsome, huh?” 

“Ayah said so!” Rafael giggled.   

“Did he now?” Alec was very amused at the moment. The tip of his ears were involuntarily turning red too. It always warmed his heart and made him blushed as well when Magnus said such thing whether in private or shared it to the public like right now. Magnus was a very affectionate, romantic guy after all. 

“Come on, Daddy!” Rafael’s soft, delicate fingers clasped around Alec’s exposed right wrist and tugged it a little.       

“Well, you go ahead, okay? I’ll be right there in a few.” Alec pushed the thick duvet cover from his body. “I’ll also have a serious, adult conversation with your Ayah for letting you watch the TV so early in the morning.” 

Rafael frowned at that but he didn’t say anything and then ran to the living room. Once Rafael was gone, Alec took a deep breath. His whole body hurt. He was pain-free for the past few days but he guessed today would be his unlucky day. Moving would be a hard task because even that was painful. His lungs burned with every breath. His whole body ached as if he had gotten into a fight and lost. He could literally feel a new bruise had started to form due to the relentless pounding of his insides from the baby and the agony as some of his bones shifted. 

Alec stifled a groan as he slowly got off the bed. He had made plan to spend time with his family and he was going to do it because he didn’t know when he would get the chance again or if he was ever going to get the privilege at all in the future. He rubbed his face and sighed, idly discerning the stubble as he waddled to the bathroom for a quick shower. Yeah, he had to _waddle_ now because he was that _huge_. If the bump was barely visible in the first two trimesters, it had gone all out now in the third trimester. If he didn’t need to hide previously because his physique especially his height had helped, nothing could be hidden anymore. Even if Magnus put on his glamor, people would notice something was obviously _off_. Whether it was from the way Alec walked, or the way he brought himself, or the way he was always out of breath…anything. People could _tell_. 

“Two more months to go.” Alec mumbled to himself as he stepped out of the bedroom, freshly showered and nicely dressed for the day. And by nicely dressed, he was in his usual black t-shirt and equally black sweatpants.   

“Alexander, darling! You’re awake!” Magnus’ cheery, warm voice greeted Alec the moment the warlock saw him.

“Mmm…” Alec hummed and smiled when Magnus hurried to him, giving him a kiss. Even though he was in pain, his smile was genuine. It always was when he was with Magnus and their children. They being there eased up some of the ache. 

“You smell heavenly, Alexander.” From smooching Alec’s lips, Magnus trailed down to Alec’s neck and buried his face there, inhaling the fresh smell of soap and something that was purely Alec. 

“You smell amazing too.” Alec offered the warlock an adorably sheepish sort of smile. Even after all these years together and two kids later, the shyness was still there. The fact that both of their sons were watching them didn’t help him either.  

“Oh, hush you. It has been a _long_ day. I’m sweaty all over and I must have been smelling unpleasantly. You’re just too honorable to mention it.” Magnus prompted with a happy sigh. “So, what can I get you, my dear fiancé of mine?” 

“I’m not yet hungry. Maybe later?” Alec entreated, making his sweetest face in order to persuade Magnus even though he knew he most likely wouldn’t get away with it. 

“Alexander, you need to eat something.” Magnus’ cheery attitude was immediately gone. “I’m not gonna take no as an answer. Not this time, dear. So, _sit_ or I’ll _make_ you.” 

“Okay, okay.” Alec easily conceded. He didn’t want to ruin the beautiful day so he might as well do as said so he took a seat on the kitchen bar’s stool. He glanced at his sons who were playing together and noticed that the Little Mermaid movie was still on pause but Rafael didn’t seem to mind. 

“Can I offer you the leftover spaghetti the boys and I had earlier or do you want something more breakfast-ish?” 

“Spaghetti? Magnus, I told you not to cave in to the kids’ demand. Spaghetti for breakfast—” 

“Spaghetti for breakfast? Alexander, the spaghetti was for lunch. It’s already 3pm.” Magnus was slowly edging forward. 

Alec heard Magnus’ words but he was having a hard time processing them. “What did you just say?” 

Magnus gently touched Alec’s cheek. “It’s 3pm, Alexander. I had bagels and fruits for breakfast and PB and J sandwich for Max and Rafe, and then we had spaghetti with extra meatballs for lunch. Just like the way they liked it.” 

Alec sucked in air. “I have…I had actually slept in?” 

“Uh, yeah.” Magnus deadpanned. 

“And you _let_ me?” Alec inquired incredulously. 

“It’s not the end of the world, Alexander.” Magnus tittered lightly. “It’s actually legal to oversleep even if you’re a Shadowhunter. I do believe your siblings do it all the time, sayang.” 

“You should’ve woken me up.” Alec grumbled. “I have a plan for today and now it’s ruined.” 

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t have the heart to wake you up. You looked so tired and yet so peaceful, Alexander.” Magnus said. “I’m sorry I’ve ruined your plan.” 

“No, you didn’t. It wasn’t your fault at all.” Alec sighed, gently linked his arm around Magnus’. “I’m being unfair to you, I’m sorry.” 

“All is well, Alexander…all is well.” Magnus affectionately kissed Alec’s forehead. “So, you wanna tell me what is this plan of yours? I gotta say, I’m very intrigued to know. It’s very unlike you to make _social_ _plans_.” 

Alec playfully shoved Magnus. “It’s nothing much, really. I’m not trying to host a party or anything. I just wanna see my family. A gathering some sort.” 

Magnus peered at Alec. “A gathering, you say? It sounds…boring. A _party_ on the other hand…” 

Alec shook his head, dismissing the idea. “No, no, no. Party is too much. I just want a simple family gathering, like a dinner.” 

Magnus beamed brightly. He tweaked Alec’s nose before he went to the fridge. “Consider it done, Alexander. I’ll call them later and asks them to come tonight for dinner. Now…about your brunch, what do you have in mind?”      

Alec tapped on the kitchen bar, thinking. “Can I have a toast?” 

Magnus made a dismissive sound. “Nope, you certainly cannot.” 

“Why not? You just said—” 

“I’m making you _three_. One is obviously not enough.” 

“Magnus…” 

“Don’t argue, Alexander. Just eat.” Magnus said ultimately and left no room for argument, making Alec grouse miserably. The warlock efficiently put the bread in the toaster and then when they were perfectly browned to his liking he spread them with butter, knowing Alexander wouldn’t eat anything fancy. He was actually glad Alexander wanted to eat anything other than plain crackers. 

“Thanks.” Alec uttered appreciatively as Magnus placed the plate of toasts with butter in front of him. “Was everything okay while I took my _extra_ nap?” 

“Funny you should ask.” Magnus chuckled despite his disappointment when Alec only took a small bite of the toast. “Hell hath no fury like a three-year-old named Maxwell whose sandwich had been cut into squares when he wanted triangles.” 

“The house isn’t on fire and I don’t see any broken glass lying around so I take it you got it under control?” Alec took another bite of the toast, forcing himself to at least finish one piece of it. 

“Thankfully, I did. And I didn’t have to use magic at all.” Magnus seemed proud. 

“You did better than me.” Alec smiled as he chewed his food weakly. It tasted bland. 

Magnus was scrutinizing Alec closely now, leaning down the sitting Shadowhunter as he ate. “I noticed Jace was here again last night. Wanna tell me why your parabatai has been hanging out here till midnight ever since your impromptu date…a week ago?” 

Alec fidgeted and instantly avoided making eye contact with Magnus. If he did, Magnus would find out that he was lying. The reason Jace was often around nowadays was because he was scared his time with Alec was running out. He wanted to be there as much as he could. “He’s bored at the Institute.” 

Magnus raised an eyebrow. “He’s bored _every_ night? Where’s Biscuit?” 

“Apparently your precious Biscuit is always out with Simon. I can’t eat this.” Alec suddenly announced, pushing his plate toward Magnus. There was still two pieces of bread left untouched. 

“Alexander…” Magnus was openly displeased. 

“I’m already full. I’ll end up _puking_ if I eat more.” Alec reasoned, appearing as upset as Magnus. “I’m gonna check on the boys.” 

Magnus heaved a sigh as he watched Alec paced to the living room. Their sons were instantly latched to him when they saw their Daddy. Kisses were shared, quick gibberish conversation was made before the boys were back to their toys. It appeared Rafael was no longer interested to watch the Little Mermaid and more absorbed with his Lego at the moment. 

Although Alec didn’t say anything, Magnus knew the truth. Alec couldn’t really hide anything from him. He could see through his façade. He knew his fiancé was in pain and he had helped all he could openly and covertly but apparently it still wasn’t enough. He _saw_ Alec’s grimace just now when he got up from his seat. He _heard_ the muffled whimper. Not only that, the physical evidences were enough to make him heartbroken seeing Alec suffered. There were deep, dark circles under his Shadowhunter’s eyes. He was getting skinnier each day. Just looked at how much he ate. Magnus had been providing Alec potions that served as nutrients but it was still insufficient to help him and right now he was at a lost. 

It was also unquestionable Jace was there every night for a reason. There was something going on between Alexander and his parabatai. He didn’t like the secrecy at all. It made him feel like an outsider when in truth he was _the_ closest person to Alexander. Was his pride and his reluctance to see eye to eye with Alexander had caused his fiancé to push him away? Compared to him, Jace’s status was _nothing_. The blonde Shadowhunter was just a brother to Alec, a friend, a parabatai. He and Alexander in contrast were lovers, partners, boyfriends, fiancés, each other’s significant others, fathers to two amazing children. 

Alexander had given him his words, his entire being, his heart. He _shared_ his life with Alexander. They _made_ a family together. He _was_ too proud to lose but he did yield for Alexander’s sake. 

Magnus put on a smile, decided to let it all go, be positive, and changed his perception and went to join his family in the living room. The lovely sight made him beam brighter with happiness. Max was absorbed with his cars and trucks, Rafael was building a Lego house, Alec was blissfully watching the boys, and the Little Mermaid remained on pause. Both he and Alec might have issues right now but they were a strong team and they loved each other and the family they had created together. He threw himself on the leather couch and kissed Alec’s cheek. “My beautiful family.” 

“ _Our_ beautiful family.” Alec amended, kissing back Magnus. 

“Give me some love as well, darlings.” Magnus leaned down to kiss and hug his children who were sitting on the floor in front of him. Rafael happily obliged. Max however, pushed him away.     

“You need to get your cuddles from someone else, Ayah. I am _really_ busy and you’ve already had enough this morning.” Max said with utter assertiveness.  

“Max!” Alec’s eyes widened in surprise. But he did feel like laughing seeing Magnus’ total disbelief expression.   

“I didn’t nurture you for such rejection, Maxwell Michael.” Magnus narrowed his eyes at Max who didn’t even bother to reply him. He dramatically lied his head on Alec’s shoulder for added effect. “Oh, what has this world become to? My own son had denied me a kiss and a hug!” 

“He still loves you more than anything.” Alec chuckled at Magnus’ theatrical. The High Warlock was huffing loudly when the young warlock still didn’t response, too immersed in fixing his seemingly damaged truck. He knew his fiancé was totally hating it their sweet Blueberry had snubbed him over a toy truck, which was tragically bought by Magnus himself. 

“Oh, wait.” Magnus suddenly lifted his head up as if he remembered something vital, causing Alec to gape at him in confusion. With a snap of his fingers, a square polka dot box fell into his lap. He was half expecting his magic would catch Rafael and Max’s attention but unluckily it didn’t, making him snorted in annoyance. “Izzy dropped by this morning and gave this with a firm instruction that it can only be opened by the both of us.” 

Taking the box from Magnus, Alec pulled on the ribbon and opened the lid. “Huh.” 

Magnus peered after Alec and gingerly took the item out. “A pink dress?”  

“A pink _baby_ dress. I think Izzy’s trying to give a hint that she’s hoping for a niece this time.” Alec touched the dress delicately, eyes filled with longing. “She’s going to be disappointed though because I have a feeling we’ll have another son.” 

“Oh?” Magnus idly countered. He placed the dress back in the box but left the lid opened. 

“Yeah…” Alec stated bleakly and covered the box completely. He had seen that coming. That Magnus would dismiss his attempt to talk about their baby. Because whenever any conversation regarding the baby occurred, Magnus would choose not to participate and it truly _hurt_. 

Not only that, Magnus also refused to get intimate with him other than hugging and kissing. He knew sex wasn’t everything but he longed to be loved by his own fiancé. Magnus had said the only reason he negated was because he didn’t want to hurt him and he would never forgive himself if something happened. But he truthfully didn’t think that was the _real_ reason. His instinct told him that Magnus was actually _disgusted_ with him. Magnus’ detachment and the lack of intimacy was why the warlock hadn’t yet noticed the ugly bruises and the marred runes covering Alec’s fragile body.      

Because Magnus simply didn’t touch him like any other lover should anymore. 

“Alexander…” 

Alec startled a bit when Magnus said his name but he recovered quickly and gaped at the warlock with a smile. “Hmmm?” 

Magnus’ gaze was filled with devotion, admiration and love as he scrutinized his Alexander. “Correct me if I’m wrong but you’re in your seventh month of pregnancy, yes?” 

Alec nodded, although he was baffled with the question. “I’ll be eight month in two weeks’ time.”         

Magnus touched Alec’s warm hands. “Shouldn’t we start picking up names?” 

Alec was taken aback. “N-Names?” 

“A child should have a name, Alexander.” Magnus stated slyly. He had sworn he would change for Alec’s sake because being stubborn didn’t get him anywhere, it only pushed Alexander away. So from now on, he vowed he would make Alec happy and if the baby was a part of his beloved joy, he would honor it.     

“I _know_ that but…but why are you saying this?”   

“As his parents, aren’t we obliged and entailed to give our child a name?” 

A hard kick made Alec abandon his comeback. “Ow.” 

Magnus flustered. “What is it?” 

Choosing to accept Magnus’ new attitude, Alec placed the warlock hand on his bulging belly. “The baby kicks. He does that often lately.” 

Magnus swallowed. All kinds of emotions were swirling in him. Alec was already seven months along and it was his first time doing this, truly accepting the baby’s existence inside of Alec. “Oh, wow.” 

“I wanna name him Magnus Jr., after his Ayah.” Alec’s heart pounded wildly as he said it. 

“What if you’re wrong and the baby is actually a girl?” Magnus challenged, quirking an eyebrow.   

“Is there a feminine version for Magnus?” 

“Perhaps we should name the child after _you_. Alexander Jr. for a boy and Alexandra or Alexandria for a—” 

A cold horror overcame Magnus. _Camille_ had suggested the same thing when he had met her by accident outside the Brooklyn restaurant all those months ago. She had tormented him, saying that he _loved_ to name his children after dead people and had actually advised him to name his future daughter after Alec because she was _sure_ the Shadowhunter would die soon. 

If only Magnus had known what she had planned at that time. 

Magnus shook his head to get rid of the recollection and focused on Alec instead but his boyfriend seemed off. “Alexander?” 

Alec groaned pitifully. “Mag-Magnus…something’s wrong.” 

“W-What—” Magnus was rendered speechless for the second time that day in less than a minute. He unlocked his magic and felt the muscles of Alec’s abdomen contracted, his cells and tissues were severely impaired and he had a massive internal bleeding. Alec’s condition was alarmingly deteriorating. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…it’s too soon…it’s too soon.” 

“Mag…nus…” Alec felt something rushed up at the back at his throat and when he coughed to clear his blocked airways, his world erupted into a pure, unadulterated agony. Everything turned red instantly. 

“Alexander, look at me!” The relentless buzzing noise was muffling Magnus’ voice but the frantic urgency in the voice Alec had come to love so much was evident. “Keep your eyes open, Alexander!” 

“Ayah, what’s…what’s g-going on?” Rafael’s attention was on the scene in front of him as he wept. His toys were long forgotten the moment he heard screaming. 

“D-Daddy…” Max cried as well but none of his and Rafael’s daddies were paying attention to them. Alec was fighting for his life while Magnus was fighting to save his love. 

“Arghhh!” Another fresh screams burst through Alec dysfunction throat as the pain intensified and continued to assault him. His hands clenched around something and before he knew it, he was retching again and it _hurt_. His lips and teeth were painted red in seconds. His muscles went rigid and his lungs were rattling painfully in his tight chest. He writhed violently as he bleed all over the place. His clothes were soaked with blood and so did the couch. Some of the blood was on Magnus as well. 

“Alexander, please…” Magnus held Alec. He was pushing his magic into him, desperately trying to stop the bleeding as his fiancé struggled to draw air into his starving lungs. 

As sudden as it started, Alec abruptly went eerily quiet. He was no longer screaming and it took Magnus a moment to find his own voice. “A-Alexander?” 

“Alexander!” Magnus grasped and shook Alec frantically but the younger man didn’t budge. His head lolled limply.

“Alec…” Magnus beseeched desperately, tears pouring out of his eyes seeing the blue lips and the pallor of Alec’s skin.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I'm pretty sure a lot of people want to kill me right now? If I assure you that it'll be okay eventually will you spare my life, please?  
> As we get closer to Shadowhunter Season 2, we're getting closer to the end of Di Pintu Syurga. :')  
> Thank you so much for reading. I truly appreciate it. Comments, kudos, bookmarks, subscribes, etc. are always welcome. :)


	14. Once and for all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd. Over 5000 words and eleven pages. I'm surprised myself, hehe! :O
> 
> I wanted to post this final chapter before the New Year but Malaysia is 12 hours ahead from most countries and I hadn't yet finished the chapter at that time so...here we are! Haha! Enjoy! :)

Magnus Bane was at a loss. His head was pounding as if it was waiting to explode. His heart was hammering, threatening to burst out of his chest. There was a shrilling noise assaulting his ears. And everything appeared gray to him. He had blinked, hoping this wasn’t real. He had shut his eyes tight to whisk away this current nightmare, wishing it was all just his mind playing tricks on him. But when he opened his eyes, he was still _there_. He was still present in this _cruel_ reality. He really wished he was somewhere else. He didn’t want to be there, he didn’t want to be in that situation. Take him back to the times of wars, to the warzone, to the battlefield that had invaded the earth all those years ago. He would rather face those all over again. He would rather be there instead of _here_ right now.  

But he couldn’t leave. 

He _wouldn’t_ leave.   

He would _not_ leave Alexander. 

No matter what happened, he would be there for Alexander. 

He thought back when Alec had started screaming and writhing in pain in the living room in front of their children. He had to use his magic to figure out what was wrong. As Alec began to bleed from all orifices because of a massive internal bleeding, it was honestly a _horrifying_ view because the blood wasn’t dripping, it was _flowing_ freely out of him like a stream instead of through him. Alec was unconscious soon after and dread instantly filled his core when he realized that his fiancé had stopped breathing. He had used up a lot of his magic to bring Alec back that first time. At that moment he realized that this was _not_ like the rest of the _assaults_ Alec had been suffering throughout the pregnancy. 

Those assaults were ‘treatable’ with potion.

Those assaults didn’t cause Alec to bleed profusely. 

Those assaults didn’t cause Alec’s heart to fucking _stop_.

Right then and there Magnus knew he must end the pregnancy. He had lived for hundreds of years. He had befriended with _a lot_ of people including mundanes and naturally he had picked up a few things from them. It was a known fact in mundane medical that in time of dire during pregnancy, when it came to choosing between life and death of the baby or the parent, waiting would be better for the baby because it gave him or her more time for their organs to develop. But unfortunately for the mothers or the carriers, waiting meant _suicide_. As the baby continued to mature, the carrier would worsen.

That was why he decided it was necessary to deliver the baby as soon as possible. Alec was only seven months pregnant and Magnus knew it was too early but he didn’t care. And oh…he _wasn’t_ doing it for the sake of the baby. _No_ , he was trying to save his Alexander, not the _parasite_. The abominable creature could be born with non-functional lungs for all he cared, he just wanted to save Alec. Alec would undoubtedly hate him but he once again didn’t care. He knew he had promised to accept the baby and he _had_ tried. He also had felt _something_ when the baby kicked. It finally felt _real_. But he couldn’t keep his promises, not when Alexander’s life was hanging by a thread because of _it_. He would rather be in the receiving end of Alec’s wrath than lost him forever.

Despite having zero knowledge about the medical field, Magnus began the procedure with an absolute certainty. He couldn’t wait any longer. Alec was losing blood fast. His breathing had gotten irregular and his pulse was getting weaker. The moment he had gotten rid of Alec’s clothes however, he was dumbfounded when he saw the bruises and the marred runes. He felt weak to his knees. Alec’s body was literally _littered_ with bruises and his runes were charred and he had only noticed it _now_? He felt guilty. He felt hopeless. He felt like he was the worst boyfriend in the world. 

Even though he wanted to wallow in guilt for his recklessness toward Alec, his willpower to save his beloved was greater. Relying on his magic, he carefully made an incision on Alec’s lower abdomen. Not having to use a scalpel to make the cut was an advantage since the shaking of his hands were worse than a first-time surgeon in the operation theatre. Even if he was a doctor, operating on your loved ones was unadvisable. 

But right now, he didn’t actually had a choice. 

His plan was to stop the bleeding, take the baby out, and patch Alexander back up.

And everything would be _perfect_ once again.  

With an impeccable accuracy and precision, Magnus cautiously slit Alec’s skin to separate the subcutaneous tissue and it made him want to _die_ for doing this to his Alexander. He couldn’t believe what was happening, that he was actually doing _this_. The tissue was thick, significantly thicker than the upper layers of the skin and he had a hard time separating it but he did make it. 

He was about to cut into the abdominal muscle when he tensed. His senses were tingling. He was expecting to find blood pooling in Alec’s abdominal cavity because his fiancé was hemorrhaging massively but that wasn’t it. He was still handling the subcutaneous tissue, still hadn’t yet reached the muscle. The significant details penetrated his haze just enough to register what was going on. His already nightmarish reality was immediately, irreparably torn and shredded when he realized the lacking of rise and fall of Alec’s chest. 

Alexander was still bleeding. 

Alexander also wasn’t breathing. 

Alexander’s heart wasn’t even _beating_.

“Alexander, no…” Bright blue glow promptly illuminated the entire living room. “Don’t do this…”

“You can’t leave me.” Words breathed out with iron-clad desperation. “Don’t you _dare_ leave me, Alexander!” 

“Wake up, open your eyes!” The thick air was suffocating. “I need you to open your eyes and _lie_ to me! Lie to me and tell me that it’s gonna be alright! Lie to me and tell me we’ll make it through this!” 

“Alexander…” A wrecked, grieving noise resonated in the loft. 

“Don’t do this to me.” Magnus relentlessly sending pulse after pulse of his magic into Alec, attempting to kickstart the Shadowhunter’s heart. “There’s still a lot of things I want to do with you.” 

“I want to kiss you…” Another bolt of magic was sent. 

“I want to take you anywhere and everywhere for the second time…” The same action was repeated. 

“I want to spend time with you…get to know you all over again and fall in love with you all over again…” Extra force and strength was added.  

“I want to _marry_ you. I want to make you my husband, Alexander.” More tears fell. “You said you’ll marry me. You _can’t_ back out now.”

“We’ve just begun. Few years with you is not _enough_! I need _more_! I need more time with you!” Magnus perilously cried out.

Magnus kept on pushing his magic into Alec. It felt like hours but it had only happened for a few minutes. His consciousness couldn’t distinguish it anymore. His mind couldn’t grasp that instead of getting better, Alec’s condition was rapidly declining. He didn’t aware his hands were trembling. He didn’t aware his strength was waning off. He didn’t aware his blue magic was getting duller and duller. He didn’t aware of the cold sweat coating his skin. He didn’t aware of his shaking legs struggling to keep him upright. He didn’t aware of the blood coating his hands, splattered on his clothes. He didn’t even aware his children were _crying_.

Because his mind, his perception was solely on his beloved Alexander.   

Magnus Bane was truthfully _broken_. 

“A-Ayah…” A small, sobbing voice was heard and it could only be Rafael or Max. The voice sounded very dejected. 

“Shut up!” Magnus snapped in distress, uncaring who it was. 

The sobbing immediately became a loud wail and only _then_ Magnus realized that his children were there and both of them were crying miserably. Neither he nor Alec had ever yelled at their sons like he just did. When the boys caused trouble, threw tantrums or simply being naughty, growing up boys, he and Alec would reprimand them, they would scold them, but they had _never_ yelled at their children so heartlessly. In truth he wanted to pacify his children, embrace them in his arms, and tell them all the lies that everything would be okay but he _couldn’t_. He had to choose Alexander over their boys this time because time was limited. 

Time was running out _fast_.  

“Please don’t cry, sweethearts.” Magnus knew his request was a tall order considering their situation and the fact that he was crying too. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m sorry.” 

“Ayah…” Rafael was begging forlornly now, wanting comfort from at least one of his parents for himself and his baby brother. 

A drop of blood fell on the back of Magnus’ hand where it was pressed on Alec’s chest, causing his reply to his children died on his lips. He touched his nose and his face rapidly paled. “Oh, no…”

From one drop of blood it became two, three…and without warning the dripping became incessant. “No, no, no…” 

The steady blue of Magnus’ magic was suddenly crackling and flickering. ‘No…please, no…”

Magnus let out a strangled, keening voice. His magic was depleting. He needed help. He needed someone’s strength to keep him going or he would pass out soon. And if that happened, Alec would be _dead_. But the only people there were himself, Alexander, and their children. He couldn’t ask this from the boys. He couldn’t ask them to share their strength. Not only it was morally wrong, Max and Rafael were too young to be sharing their strength. The strength sharing was a painful task and the kids could end up dead too because their essence were still fragile. 

Magnus started to feel lightheaded but he refused to stop. Stopping meant he was giving up and he would _never_ give up on Alexander, even if it meant sacrificing himself. Blind terror was bubbling inside of him because if he failed, he would lose Alec _forever_. His world abruptly flashed white, like an explosion and sharp pain behind his eyelids before he collapsed forward, barely caught himself up from falling. He whimpered fitfully. He was out of magic, completely _drained_ but Alec’s heart still wasn’t beating.  

“Stay there!” Magnus shouted hoarsely when he saw from the corner of his eyes his children were coming to him. “Stay right there and do _not_ move.”

“Daddy! I-I w-want Da-Daddy!” Max was shrieking. His face red. He was huddled together with Rafael in the corner who wasn’t looking any better. Rafael was crying too but more quietly than Max. The boys were visibly in distress but they undoubtedly would be _traumatized_ for life if they saw their Daddy’s current condition. Forcing them to stay where they were was the best since at least the children’s view was blocked and they couldn’t really see what was happening.

“I’ll get your Daddy back, I promise. I’ll get your Daddy back.” Magnus mumbled repeatedly like a mantra. He kneeled next to Alec on the couch and even though his hands were shaking terribly, he placed the heel of his right hand over the center of his fiancé’s chest. He then placed his left hand on top of his first hand. 

“Come on, Alexander.” Magnus used his upper body weight and pushed straight down on Alec’s chest.

“Please…” The warlock sobbed as he began chest compressions on his lover, counting to thirty. 

Putting his palm on Alec’s forehead and gently tilting the head back, Magnus lightly lifted Alec’s chin forward to open the airway. “Breathe…please…” 

Seconds passed and to Magnus’ dismay, Alec still wasn’t breathing. He swallowed his sob and pinched Alec’s nose, covering the Shadowhunter’s mouth with his to make a seal and begin mouth-to-mouth breathing. He blew two breaths of air and leaned back and watched to see if Alec’s chest rose. 

It didn’t. 

Alec’s chest remained _still_. 

“Alexander, please…I beg of you.” Magnus began compressions again. Alec had been deprived of oxygen for a few minutes now. Brain damage would most likely to occur at this point but he didn’t care. He would face the costs. He just needed Alexander to start breathing and be alive. 

“Don’t leave me.” Magnus pushed harder on Alec’s sternum and cringed when he felt the ribs fissure and fracture. “Don’t leave our children, our family…”  

“We can’t live without you…” Magnus pressed his warm mouth to Alec’s cold one and blew two more breaths. 

Still, nothing happened. 

“No…I won’t…give up…on you.” Magnus started another cycle of compressions on Alec’s already damaged chest. He was breathless and the lightheadedness had gotten worse. He felt himself slipping away.

“Alec!” Someone was screaming Alec’s name in urgency and despair as they rushed inside the loft and Magnus couldn’t be more grateful for the presence of whoever that person was. “Alec!” 

“Uncle Jace!” Magnus heard Max and Rafael’s tragic cries for their uncle. He was too weak to move now. He could barely open his eyes anymore. 

“What’s going on?” Jace immediately took Rafael and Max into his arms. The boys appeared shocked and they were shaking. They gripped onto him tightly, obviously afraid to let go. “Why are you guys—” 

“A-Alec…?” Jace shuddered seeing the sight before him. He pulled his nephews closer to him, burying their face, not wanting them to see what he had just seen. He was somewhat glad the boys’ height had blocked them from seeing the horror. The couch where he normally sat looked like the beds in the infirmary during the _war_. There was so much blood, the smell thick in the air. Alec was unconscious, drenched in said blood and to his horror, so was Magnus. 

“Wait for me here, okay?” Jace untangled himself from his nephews. “Don’t go anywhere and don’t move until I say so.” 

“No, Uncle Jace…no…” Max’s cry got louder while Rafael clutched onto his arm firmly. 

“Stay here.” Even with the screams of his nephews, Jace yanked himself away albeit unwillingly. He hurried toward the two unmoving figure.     

“Magnus!” Jace dropped beside Magnus. From his observing, the warlock seemed in a better condition than Alec. He inspected Alec’s body out of habit and almost gagged seeing his parabatai’s ghastly exposed insides. “Magnus, tell me what to do!” 

“Alec…not breathing…” Magnus mumbled weakly. “Strength…” 

“Here, take it.” Jace instantly offered his hand to Magnus, which the warlock gladly accepted. 

Jace let out an involuntarily grunt as Magnus tugged on his strength. It was an uncomfortable feeling and a very painful process but he didn’t mind. He would do _anything_ to save Alec. Though Alec’s rune were scorched, their parabatai bond was still as strong as ever. He was in the middle of training when he had felt something was wrong through the bond and he straightway ran to the loft. He felt suffocated, he felt like he was _dying_. 

And when his parabatai rune started to bleed, he knew he had to get to Alec fast. 

Magnus’ magic sparked a few seconds later, causing the warlock to weep in relief. Without letting go of Jace’s hand, he shocked Alec’s non-beating heart with his magic. His first try was a failure. On his second try, Alec remained unresponsive. He thought he had succeeded on the third try but he didn’t. He tried, tried and _tried_ ceaselessly but both he and Jace were getting weaker. Soon enough, Jace would lose all of his strength too. 

Magnus closed his eyes, steering all of the combined strength he and Jace’s had left. It was their last chance. 

He sent one last powerful jolt of magic to Alec.   

And Alec’s heart finally started to beat. 

Magnus slumped forward in exhaustion but this time, Jace expertly caught him before he tumbled. “Thank you.”

Jace could hardly take a much needed air when he heaved a choked gasp. “He’s…He’s bleeding! Mag-Magnus! Alec’s bleeding!”      

In his state of brittleness, Magnus eyes’ reluctantly traveled to the open wound at the lower region of Alec’s abdomen. He gaped at the horizontal incision he had made. Now that Alec’s heart had worked again, it would pump out blood once more. The internal bleeding that had slowed down had become uncontrollable yet again. He needed to deliver the baby. Alec might be stable now but he was certain his beloved wouldn’t stop hemorrhaging, not until the parasite causing it was taken out. The longer it stayed inside of Alec, the greater the risk Alec would crash again and if that happened, there was a great possibility he wouldn’t be able to bring Alec back. 

“Hey!” Jace barked, completely taken aback when Magnus seized his hand. 

“I need to use your strength again. For Alexander’s sake.” Magnus stated firmly. “I’m ending this, once and for all.” 

Jace nodded, letting Magnus do his calling. The High Warlock of Brooklyn obviously knew more than him and he had no arguments against him at present. All he wanted, all he wished was for Magnus to save his brother. His parabatai rune was no longer seeping blood but it was throbbing painfully at his side. It meant that Alec was not out of the woods yet. He dutifully watched, flabbergasted and in bewilderment as Magnus began cutting Alec open. He had never seen the _insides_ of a person before and truthfully, he was feeling a bit queasy. Being a Shadowhunter and fighting in a war was completely different. He wasn’t ready to face _this_.   

But this was Alec. 

His brother, his parabatai. 

“He’s still hemorrhaging.” Magnus muttered gravely, already cutting the abdominal muscle with the magic powered by Jace’s strength and was now in the abdominal cavity. The space was filled with blood. He could hardly see anything.   

“How can we stop the bleeding?” Jace asked, alarmed. 

Magnus snapped his fingers and in split second, all the blood was gone. Unfortunately for Jace, he felt like he was being kicked in the nuts. He grunted and coiled around himself instantly. Ignoring Jace’s obvious discomfort, Magnus efficiently made a swapping gesture with his unoccupied hand and some kind of sheath protecting the organs inside of Alec was easily sliced. The final incision was made a few seconds later and immediately a head full of hair was seen. From looking like he was about to faint, Jace’s expression was replaced with awe. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. It felt _bizarre_. 

Magnus who didn’t share the same feeling quickly twisted his hand as if he was actually inside and hauled the baby out with just a motion. The rush of cold air must have startled the baby and the newborn promptly emitted a loud wail. Disregarding the annoying sound, the warlock released the screaming baby on Alec’s bare thighs and while still using his magic, he cut the umbilical cord connecting the creature to Alec and swiftly removed the afterbirth as well. 

Sensing Jace’s forte was diminishing, Magnus hastily attempted to close Alec’s wide gash. It would be a slow process considering the lack of power. Alec still needed a lot of healing though. One of the fractured ribs had punctured Alec’s left lung, collapsing it which explained the gurgling and rattling sound coming from the out cold Shadowhunter. Alec’s kidneys were also failing, there was a huge tear in his intestine and the list went on. But the warlock needed more power to heal them all. He had to replenish his magic first and Jace was too weary to help him anymore. Just as he snapped his fingers to produce his magic and stitched up the birth wound, the loft erupted with a loud boom and he was thrown on top of the coffee table, breaking it. Golden burn lightened up the entire loft like fireworks. The radiance was so bright, he had to squint to see clearly. He saw Jace buckled figure a few feet away as his worried eyes darted to his children. He heaved a relief sigh when he saw that both of them were unharmed. 

When his sight landed on Alec however… 

“No!” Magnus screeched, hastily crawling toward his unconscious lover. Alec was floating, safely intact in a gold cocoon of magic. A protective sheath was shielding him and the warlock recognized the golden ward all too well. 

“What have you done?!” Magnus roared at the still screaming newborn. But the baby continued to scream his lungs out though his eyes were closed. His tiny fingers curled into a fist, clenching and unclenching multiple of times as he cried.     

“Close down the ward!” Magnus bellowed once more. His thunderous voice was the loudest compared to the wailing newborn and the cries of his other two children. 

“Magnus!” Jace pushed Magnus away from the baby. “Have you lost your damn mind?!” 

“That _thing_ needs to close down the fucking ward!” Magnus seethed. “I need to stitch up—” 

“It’s done!” Jace pointed at Alec’s abdomen. The only thing visible on the skin was a long, jagged, ugly scar. “I don’t know how it happens but it’s been sutured.” 

Magnus took a deep breath to calm himself down and glanced at Alec, scrutinizing every inch of his body and noticed that not only the gash was now a scar, the caked blood tainting his ears, nose, and mouth were all gone too together with the rest of the blood. There wasn’t even a single drop left on him. Alec had been magically and thoroughly cleaned up. Knowing who had caused it but not wanting to acknowledge it, he started to pull himself up off the floor.      

Stumbling on his feet, Magnus went to get to his children who were still huddled in the corner of the living room. His sons were still crying and he immediately hugged them with all of his might. “It’s okay, sweethearts. Everything is alright now. Daddy and I are both here…” 

“A-Ayah…” Rafael sniffled. 

“I want Daddy…” Max whimpered. 

“Soon, darlings. You’ll get to see Daddy soon, I promise.” Magnus persuaded, tightening his hold onto his downhearted children.   

Unbeknown to Max and Rafael, their Ayah had put a spell on them with the lingering of his magic. The boys sagged in Magnus’ embrace, exhaustively asleep. It was a wrong thing to do, putting spells on his own children and making them forget things, Magnus _knew_ that but he couldn’t let his children traumatize for life. He wanted to keep their innocence as long as he could. They were _his_ babies and they didn’t deserve to witness such brutality like this. His boys might hate him like Clarissa once did to Jocelyn but he was doing this for his children. He finally understood why Jocelyn had done it to her daughter years ago. 

“Magnus…” Jace approached the warlock with cautious. The newborn in his hold was wrapped in a towel since it was the only thing he could find. “Magnus, he won’t stop crying. What should I do?” 

“Not my problem.” Magnus carefully placed the sleeping Max and Rafael on the empty couch next to Alec before walking back to his fiancé. He didn’t bother to look at Jace or at the screaming creature. 

“Do something!” Jace grabbed Magnus’ hand, forcing the man to look at him. “You’re his father!”  

“Bite me.” Magnus spat, wrenching his hand away. “He’s better off dead.” 

“Magnus!” 

“Why do you care about his wellbeing, huh? Let him cry all he want! Don’t you care that that _thing_ almost _kill_ your parabatai?!” 

“Because I promised Alec!” Jace’s anger burst. “He knew from the start you’d abandon his child and I’m sad to admit that he was right! You had become exactly what he thought you’d be!” 

“Alec wants this child, Magnus…” Jace lowered his voice when he saw the anguish written on Magnus’ face. He didn’t blame Magnus for lashing out. Sorrow and anger weren’t a great combination after all. “He wants him so badly he’s willing to sacrifice everything for him including his own life. Don’t let it be in vain.” 

Jace felt like crying himself. His parabatai was there in front of him but Alec wasn’t responding and he himself was stuck in this limbo. He needed Alec to make things right, to soothe his child, to lecture his boyfriend for being stubborn because the baby was persistently crying while Magnus remained cold, not showing any sign that he would relent and comfort his new son. The baby looked normal. His skin was similar to Magnus, hair as dark as Alec's. No demonic signs whatsoever on him and he wondered if Magnus would ever love the child without Alec there with him.    

“Here…” Jace swallowed the lump in throat, halfheartedly took his phone out. Doing it meant this was real but he had promised Alec and he would live up to it. His parabatai and brother was counting on him and he would not disappoint Alec. He scrolled into the phone till he found what he wanted and gave it to Magnus. “Alec wants you to have it.” 

“I know you love Alec, Magnus. And I hope someday you can love this baby too.” Jace said to the stunned Magnus. “But Alec’s son isn’t going away no matter how much you hates him. Till that day comes when you’ll finally open your eyes, I’ll take care of him…for Alec’s sake.” 

Magnus blankly watched Jace left with the weeping baby to the kids’ bedroom. He then stared at the phone in his hand, at the video file displayed on it. All he had to do was pressed play but he didn’t think he was ready or strong enough to do it. He was certain whatever was in the video, it would crush his heart and soul. Nevertheless, he longed to hear Alec’s voice again. He craved to see his Alexander lively and happy once more, not lying lifeless like he was right now because it hurt him.  

He pressed play.    

“Hi, Magnus.” 

Alec’s smiling face was the first thing the video showed. Even his face was gaunt and pale, he was still as handsome as ever. The most handsome man in the world to Magnus. “I’m sorry for not being there with you anymore. I’m sure you’ve tried your very best to save me, so please don’t blame yourself.” 

“And please don’t get mad at Jace for doing this. For what it’s worth, he was against it at first but you know me…the stubborn one. Jace has no choice but to agree with it.” Alec in the video carried on. “I just wanna say that I’m happy, Magnus. All these years we’re together…I’m happy with you.” 

“You’ve helped unleash the true me, loved me, thought me everything you knew, and thanks to you…I’ve become a decent dancer. No more stepping on your toes when we dance.” Alec blushed, causing Magnus to chuckle brokenly. “You’ve seen all of me, Magnus. All my perfections and all my flaws. You’ve seen me dancing, you’ve tasted my cooking, you’ve seen how helpless I am when it comes to fashion and so much more but…I guess there’s one thing I haven’t showed you yet. Not in front of you, not in front of anyone ever. I didn’t even enjoy it before I met you.” 

“It’s singing.” Alec laughed softly. His cheeks flushed once more. “Only for you, Magnus my love. You already have my heart and now I give you all of me.”  

“ _Sekukuh mana ikrar kasih kita, setebal mana masih ada sempadannya_ _(No matter how strong our love is, there’s still a limit no matter how thick)_.” Alec began to sing and Magnus froze. He used to love the song. It was nice and truly meaningful. The music and lyrics worked perfectly together but ever since he and Alec got together, it had become his greatest revulsion for the same reason he loved it. He didn’t even know Alec knew the song. “ _Akan tiba nanti harus ditempuhi, apa daya kita melawan masa_ _(There’ll come a time where we have to face, that we can’t race against time)._ ”   

“ _Takdirnya dunia hanya sementara (Our fate in this world is only temporary). Walau begitu cinta suci untuk selamanya (But a pure love is for eternity). Ini realiti hilang tak terganti, namunku tahu kau dan aku akhirnya kembali bersatu (This reality can never be replaced, but I know you and me will eventually meet again)._ _Andai daku pergi sebelummu, kenangkanlahku selalu di dalam doamu (If I’m gone before you, remember me always in your prayer). Kaulah cinta pertama dan terakhir untukku (You’re my first and last love). Ku berjanji kan menantimu, setia menunggu di pintu syurga (I promise I’ll wait for you, devotedly waiting at heaven’s door)._ ” Alec smiled at the phone camera, causing Magnus’ welling tears to fall like a shattered dam. 

“ _Di sana menanti gemilang cinta, jadi lenyapkanlah titisan airmata (There the blaze of love awaits, so wipe the tears away)._ ” Magnus’ world started to dissolve at the sound of Alec’s beautiful voice. “ _Tabahkanlah hati, mengharungi hari (Be strong, get through the day). Abadikanlah saat indah, kita kan tetap bersama (Preserve our memories, and we can always be together)._ ” 

“ _Andai daku pergi sebelummu, kenangkanlahku selalu di dalam doamu (If I’m gone before you, remember me always in your prayer)._ ” Magnus could feel the warmth of Alec’s love as he sang. “ _Kaulah cinta pertama dan terakhir untukku (You’re my first and last love). Ku berjanji kan menantimu, setia menunggu di pintu syurga (I promise I’ll wait for you, devotedly waiting at heaven’s door)._ ” 

“I love you with all my heart, Magnus Bane.” Alec sent him a flying kiss. 

“Di pintu syurga…” Magnus whispered to himself when the video ended, his tears subsided. 

“You’re still here with me.” Magnus put the phone away and stared at the sleeping Alec. He yearned more than anything to hold his fiancé’s hand but the golden cocoon was blocking all kinds of contact. “You’re not gone, you’re still here. I’ll find a way to get you back, love.”   

“You _will_ come back to me, Alexander.” Magnus affirmed ultimately. “I’ll be right here waiting for you in our very own syurga.” 

The High Warlock of Brooklyn placed his head next to his Shadowhunter fiancé. 

And closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End! Or is it to be continued? :O  
> Hmmm...how about YOU tell me? Do YOU want a sequel? If most of you wanted a sequel, I'll do it. ;)
> 
> Well, this is the end (for now), dear readers. Thanks for supporting me. It has been a wonderful journey for me. I'm excited I get to use all the medical knowledge I've learned for this final chapter and I really hope I didn't get it wrong, haha! See you guys in my next journey! :D
> 
> So once again, thank you so much for reading. I truly appreciate it. Comments, kudos, bookmarks, subscribes, etc. are always welcome. :)
> 
> P/s: The song is called Di Pintu Syurga by KRU. It can be found on YouTube. ;)


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